hmmm........

Former Member · April 2001

hey guys its me (you all know me by now don't you?!) and i have issues!
this is complicated so concentrate ok?!
well, theres this guy (how did you know!) and from the first time we met there was an attraction there. neither of us did anything about it and i convinced myself that he didn't fancy me (low confidence shit again!). we had become friends but then our friendship deteriorated when he started being nasty to me for no reason. now being a bit of a brazen young hussy(!) i got sick of this and we ended up having a big row (it was seriously major screaming type row) i was basically saying to him that even if he had developed some kinda of vendetta against me then he should just leave me alone as we have to spend so much time in each others company (i also threw in a few jibes about him being sexist just for good measure) then he told me the real truth behind his nastiness. apparently he is severely attracted to me but didn't wanna do anything about it coz of working together. but seeing me all the time is driving him crazy coz everytime he lays eyes on me he just wants to rip my clothes off(!). so we made up and had a snog. ever since he has been trying to get me into bed with him (i think, he says different of course) now the trouble is i am insanely attracted to him but he doesn't make me feel good about myself. he treats me with no respect and i'm unconfortable in his company because i feel like he looks down on me all the time. when we talk on the phone its sometimes better and we have really good long chats about our feelings and the future and stuff. also a few weeks back he got into some trouble with the police and the first person he called was me. that weekend he was a different person. it makes me think that all the bad stuff is just an act and that underneath he actually has a soft side to his personality. i've also heard good reports from his past girlfriends (pretty unusual!) about romantic things hes done, which makes me think that hes not just a sex mad selfish bastard. now the question is do i give up on him or carry on hoping that kind side will emerge more often. i've spoken to all my friends and they tell me to get him out of my life coz hes a loser (they haven't actually met him, they're just going on what i've said) so i wondered - what do you guys think????
please help me on this one, as you can probably tell my head is a right mess, i need your advice!

i'm not denying that women are stupid; God made us to match the men.

Former Member · April 2001

ok,well i think you should give it a go.sum mite disagree,but see how it goes.dont get to attached,just take it slow,and ask him if he is willing to wait until YOU want to sleep with HIM.if he is willing,then hes a gud guy,if not....forget it.
i dont know if thats helped at all,but i hope it has!
keep us informed!

Former Member · April 2001

Maybe you should talk to him and tell him you're feeling confused about whether he's a bad guy or a good guy? I've always been told that communication is the key in a relationship, I don't know whether it always works but you could give it a try anyway... hope that helps, don't forget to post what happens between you two!

Former Member · April 2001

yeah thats gud advise,TALK!see how he feels,maybe he is scared of sumthing,so he feels he has to put on a hard man act??

Former Member · April 2001

{{{{{Wizzy}}}}} sounds to me this guy has done nothing to gain your trust, and given you reasons to feel suspicious (regardless of low confidence) I think you should as suggested have a conversation with him about what you both want from this relationship, and if his idea isn't anywhere near yours and he couldn't get close if tried, then you'd need to say goodbye to the weakest link. Imho you deserve better my friend <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">

Good Luck & Take Care
LUK

~ If you can see the beauty of whatyou aspire to, it doesn't matter if you achieve it all. Simply to aspire is no mean achievement ~

Former Member · April 2001

erm well i don't reckon this guy sounds too nice. Maybe he's the kind of guy that u mite be better off being friends with? I reckon if ur doubting his intentions then he can't really be that good. i was in a similar situation, in the end i just let go and thought i was better off. now just recently he has been contacting me again and im <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/confused.gif"> but i definitely know what im doin now. im gonna b friends but not get too close because its just not worth it as hes probably only after one thing and tbh i have lost attraction for him. i reckon if u let him go, u mite not b as attracted to him nemore.

There's a girl in my mirror
I wonder who she is
Sometimes I think I know her
Sometimes I really wish I did

Former Member · April 2001

Originally posted by LUKA:
{{{{{Wizzy}}}}} sounds to me this guy has done nothing to gain your trust, and given you reasons to feel suspicious (regardless of low confidence) I think you should as suggested have a conversation with him about what you both want from this relationship, and if his idea isn't anywhere near yours and he couldn't get close if tried, then you'd need to say goodbye to the weakest link. Imho you deserve better my friend <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">

Good Luck & Take Care
LUK

thats what all my friends keep telling me, but its really hard. i decide that i've had enough of him and then i see him again and just really want him!!! i don't know what to do about it, my head is telling me hes a bastard but my heart won't let me get rid of him! theres severe physical attraction going on here and i don't know how to stop it! all i want is a man who treats me right - is that too much to ask???

i'm not denying that women are stupid; God made us to match the men.

Former Member · April 2001

I think you should go with your heart, you only live once and your only young once and if you like him go for it. explain to your friends that you really like this boy and you want to do something about it but your not sure. but in the end its your decision not theirs but if there true mates they will stand by you whatever you choose and they will be there for you.
As for him treating you like that, i think you should try and talk it over with him but in a calm way this time and explain to him that he makes you feel horrible even though you really like him. If he isnt understanding towards your feelings then you should forget it coz u dont wanna spend your time with someone who is constantly running u down, so he cant like you that much.
but if he apologises u should go 4 it, whatever u decide to do, i wish u good luck and i hope it helps

Former Member · April 2001

Originally posted by whizzygirl:
all i want is a man who treats me right -is that too much to ask???

{{{{{{{{{{{Whizzy}}}}}}}}}}} that is certainly not to much to ask. If you are truthful to yourself is this guy who fits that criteria, sexual chemistry aside. You deserve the best and I sincerely hope it finds its way to you soon <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"> Ultimately you got to do what you want and need but please be careful, we don't want to see you hurt by this guy.

Take care
Luv 'n' Peace
Luk

~ If you can see the beauty of whatyou aspire to, it doesn't matter if you achieve it all. Simply to aspire is no mean achievement ~

Former Member · April 2001

whizzy --

you shouldn't not give this guy a chance because from i've read, he's done nothing to you personally. and it sounds like you have corraborating evidence that he treats his girlfriends well.

and i hate to advise this cause i believe that you truly have to trust someone before you enter into a relationship with them, but if you choose to give him a chance, make sure he knows that he only gets one chance with you. and if he proves that he is the guy you think he is, then there you go. if he doesn't... cut him loose and never look back.

the one hitch to this is that u have to give him a real chance, if you start looking for things cause u have doubts, then ur doomed before you start.

good luck.

Former Member · April 2001

personally i think u should give things a go wit him, i think that this nasty side is just an act (he has even admitted that?) but before u get into a relationship tell him u dont like the way he gives u no respect and u want him 2 show his true feelings and stop hiding behind his immage.

dont get to attached and if things look up- u have no need to worry. however if he still shows u no respect - kick him to the kerb!!

good luck let us know how things go (oo that rhymes!) later! babes luv jo-lizzie

Former Member · April 2001

i am extremely close today to having no more to do with him. i don't think his nastiness is just an act, i think hes a terrible control freak who thinks because i'm female he has some kind of power over me. basically hes a sexist bastard. i'm not gonna put up with this any longer and the next time hes rude or offensive hes gonna get told! my attraction to him will not give him power over me! (you might of guessed that he really pissed me off this morning!) i'll let you know what happens next....

i'm not denying that women are stupid; God made us to match the men.

hmmm........

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