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Should I keep it my deep dark secret??

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years. I recently ended things with him to "be single" and experience things alone for a while seeing as I've been with him since I was quite young and felt that I needed this break. However, I only really realised that I missed him loads and it brought to light how much no one could ever replace him and how much I love him, so we got back together. I'm soo happy and in love with him at the moment and want to be with him for a very long time, however, something that is playing on my mind is the fact that I kissed someone else while we were broken up - it was literally a drunkard snog and that is all. However, should I confess this to my boyfriend in order to get everything out in the open and be honest with him? He hasn't asked if I've been with anyone else, but think that maybe he might wonder sometimes. Although, I know that he might be upset by this and I don't want to risk the realstionship which I'm soo happy in for no reason! What should I do???? :chin:

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If i was you i would tell him, i mean there are far worse things you could have done than kiss someone else. You wasn't even with your boyfriend so technically you haven't done anything wrong, but seeing as you are back together again i would want it out in the open just so that it didn't come out at a later date, you could also admit you made a mistake and the experience made you realise how much you did love and want to be with him.
    But it's your call :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I dont think you should! Seems a bit pointless since you werent actually together at the time, and you were drunk! If you think he'll react badly dont tell him. Dont feel guilty cos you've got no reason. If he ever asks you just be honest, if he loves you, you'll survive that TINY hiccup!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *gone*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think you should tell him ...it may well quell many uncertainties in his mind to hear you only had one gin soaked snog ...but then again ...it could make him feel realy guilty about what he got up to!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would say that if you want to be completly honest and open with each other, and it is "playing on your mind a lot", then you should tell him.
    But first of all, ask yourself:-
    Whether you want to tell him just becasue you feel guilty?
    And what good would you hope will come from telling him?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    In your position, if i didn't feel guilty about it at all, i'd figure they're better off not knowing.

    But if i felt guilty about it, i'd come out with it, even if it's just to make yourself feel better.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    personally i wouldn't say anything.

    you did nothing wrong, so you have no obligation to. and if he wanted to know, he would ask.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It really depends, in my relationship we've got an honesty kind of policy which kind of has it's drawbacks - because if you don't want to tell the other one something then they can get upset. But it's also got it's benefits in that you feel you can trust each other a lot, and you can tell each other anything in trust and confidence. But a lot of people prefer a relationship where they have more freedom of thought and what goes on inside their head, and it works out better for them. Depending on what kind of relationship you have, I'd base your decision on that. (And your gut feeling; it can often be underestimated)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you was single at the time? so there was nothing to feel guilty about...

    you probaly feel guilty because the time you was single, you was still adjusting to it, and it still probaly felt to you that you was still with this guy, and therefore you felt bad.

    I think after a break up, then being back together again, telling him you kissed someone, might make him feel sad, or make him feel your rubbing a fact in. unless hes really understanding guy, and understands this kiss made you relise all you want is him.

    =) i hope it all goes well xox
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I kissed someone else while i was actually with my boyfriend, and i don't condone it at all, and I felt guilty. But I knew it was a mistake and moved on. In fact, I saw it as a sign that things weren't right between us. The fact that you were apart will probably mean that if you do tell him, he won't mind, especially as you're being honest, but if you think he's the sorta person to go mad, keep it a secret. It's not like you slept with this other guy, which would be a different matter...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    why rock the boat and tell him? a kiss under the circumstances is nothing.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I kissed someone else while i was actually with my boyfriend, and i don't condone it at all, and I felt guilty. But I knew it was a mistake and moved on. In fact, I saw it as a sign that things weren't right between us. The fact that you were apart will probably mean that if you do tell him, he won't mind, especially as you're being honest, but if you think he's the sorta person to go mad, keep it a secret. It's not like you slept with this other guy, which would be a different matter...
    it would only a different matter if she wasnt single at the time me thinks
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well i broke up with my boyfriend and about 2 weeks after i snogged some bloke and although it didnt mean anything the guilt kicked in and things became akward... we now have been talking about getting back together (4 months have passed) and we told eachother about what had happened in the break time we had apart (some things should have been left alone) but we got it all out in the open, now we cant trust eachother and if we got back together it would be pointless as there would be no trust in it, so i'd leave things as they are but if he asks then be honest and tell him about it, you never know maybe he's done something as well but is in the same boots as you so is keeping hush

    good luck...
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