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Insecure

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I've been going out with my boyfriend for around 3 years. I broke up with him recently because I felt that I needed some time to be single seeing as I'm still young. However, this break made me realise how much I loved him and missed him. So I went round his and we agreed to try again.

But then, around half and hour later he got a text from a girl who he'd been hanging around with saying that she fancied him. After he got this message he went all cold and wouldn't even touch me - he said he'd made the wrong decision and couldn't trust me not to break up with him again and wanted to be "single", he also admitted that he fancied this girl, so it was blantently because he would prefer to try things with her rather than me. He literally broke my heart saying this - ending a 3 year relationship for a girl he'd known for a week!

However, the next night he rung me up (after he'd met up with this girl previosly) and said he'd made the wrong decision and she was nothing compared to me and he realised he didn't like her in "that way". I felt as if he had to sum up the competition before he made that choice though which annoyed me.

So after much thought we got back together. However, this girl still hangs around with his group of mates. He always tells me that he loves me and wants to be with me forever, but I get get the thought out of my mind that he will change his mind again and leave me. I don't want to get hurt angain. Because I'm soo loved up with him at the mo, I duno if it's just me but I feel like he isn't paying me quite as much attention as I'd like especially since he knows I'm really insecure about our relationship at the mo as I've spoken to him about how I feel. He just doesn't really understand though thinking that I just want to be hugged and kissed ALL the time which I don't - there are soo many ways to show someone that you love them. Am I just feeling insecure? I know this relationship won't work if I feel as if I can't trust him, but I dnt know how to get these thoughts out of my head!!! Any advice???

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Erk, nasty situation mate, clearly it's going to be hard to be sure that he's not going to do it again, even if not with the same girl. Why are you with him? as a genuine question.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Because I love him, after being together for soo long he's like my best mate as well as boyfriend. Everything I say to him though about trust etc makes me sound like such a hypocrite though as it was me who broke up with him in the first place!!!! Although obviously I regret that now but then again if I didn't have that break I wouldn't have realised how much I love him. Kinda went wrong though coz now with this situation I can't trust him at the mo!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You can't trust him as a boyfriend, can you trust him as a best friend? You should probably think seriously about whether you've got any distance in this relationship if the answer to both his roles are a no, or an uncertain.
  • littlemissylittlemissy Posts: 9,972 Supreme Poster
    You obviously thought things weren't right before you found this out, otherwise you would never have split up the first time.

    I do think that maybe it is time to let go and move on. There is nothing worse than clinging on tightly to a relationship that you know is going nowhere. He even admitted to you that he fancied her.

    I know it is hard to break off a relationship but maybe your original thought was the best one. It is time to move on.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sounds like a fool!

    make him prove to you that he wont do it again lol

    Just follow your heart. Deep down you know whether you want to be with him or not.
    The fact that you're here asking us....
    But hope you work it out and are happy :) If u do end up with him, dont let him mess you around!
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