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worried about sex with new partner

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
I've been going out with this girl for about a week now, and it's going well. But I'm nervous about when we get round to having sex, for two main reasons. One, I'm very inexperienced sexually. Two, I'm very self-conscious about my body (v. hairy back and shoulders, you see...) and worried what she might think, or that she'll get turned off. What do you reckon I should do? I don't want to put her off with my complete lack of confidence. Should I talk to her about it, warn her? And how/when to bring it up? Thanks for your suggestions!

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    A week huh?

    You move fast.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Perhaps he's thinking ahead for the future?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well knowing her name helps
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sack back and crack is it???

    Emm well if i was you i owuld leave it another couple of weeks before you start talking to her about sex, she might feel a little pushed if you mention it now. But i would definately advise talking to her because if you wait till the last minute there could be a lot of embaressment for you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    A week isnt that about the normal time to be getting down to it, I dont think that too soon, it maybee she wants it already and could be worse if he dosnt.

    Anyway Id say just be relaxed dont try anything too adventurus first time are you a virgin or just relativly inexperenced,

    Anyway if you take it easy and pretend you know what your doing you should be allright.

    Remember if its in and moving in and out then thats how it should be.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think that if you and your girlfriend both feel ready for sex, and she fancies you and wants to be with u, then a little body hair shouldnt put her off. ok, so she may not find it a massive turn on, but im sure if she doesnt like it she'll just ignore it. It aint like she would pull a face, scream and run away!!
    Dont worry.
    And as for sex, take things slowly, and learn what feels good for you and your girlfriend.
    SBG
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Guys can be unfortunate to get hairy backs BUT it aint the end of the world hun. There is a solution. You can wax your back to lift your confidence a little. Guys who need it do get that done. And tell her. Huni, it seriously shouldn't be an issue but do tell her, if it is buggin you. Besides, I can imagine your girl will be more concerned about what she looks like in bed for you rather than the other way around.

    She's with you for a reason. Enjoy it.

    :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Chances are she already knows you have a bit of a hairy back, and well if that puts her off you then she's not worth being with.

    I'm sure she's just as worried as you, just take it easy and stop worrying. :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    tacs1895 wrote:
    I've been going out with this girl for about a week now, and it's going well. But I'm nervous about when we get round to having sex, for two main reasons. One, I'm very inexperienced sexually. Two, I'm very self-conscious about my body (v. hairy back and shoulders, you see...) and worried what she might think, or that she'll get turned off. What do you reckon I should do? I don't want to put her off with my complete lack of confidence. Should I talk to her about it, warn her? And how/when to bring it up? Thanks for your suggestions!

    I'm curious as to what exactly you are planning to "warn" her about?

    Anyway, I doubt you have any serious problem. Just be cool. Everybody be cool.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi, I think if your serious about this girl then you should wait a couple more weeks you seem really nervous at the moment. If she hasn't already seen your top half naked then i think your rushing things a bit!! Take things slowy good things will come to those who wait!! XXX PS how old are you and how old is she?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for your kind words guys. To be honest, I don't think I'm gonna be any less nervous just by waiting a couple of weeks. Also I didn't make it clear that I'd already known her a few months before we actually started going out, so it's not like I hardly know her. I'm 23 and she's 20.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    wax it off. or if you are scared of the pain get a tube of veet.if its upsetting u that much,get rid of it
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If she is any kind of decent girl then you being hairy won't matter to her.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I agree, if she's put off by your back, she isn't really worth having as a girlfriend.

    Don't worry about it, everything will fall into place when the time's right :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    tacs1895 wrote:
    Thanks for your kind words guys. To be honest, I don't think I'm gonna be any less nervous just by waiting a couple of weeks. Also I didn't make it clear that I'd already known her a few months before we actually started going out, so it's not like I hardly know her. I'm 23 and she's 20.

    Yes it's a problem. But one that can be easily solved.
    We all feel self concious about some part of our body. It sucks, yeah. But huni, it's normal to have doubts.

    Point is, she obviously has no doubts about going being with you in the first place. Maybe explain, how you can be a little self conscious over your body, but at the same time, try not to dwell on it soo much. As I said before, if it's bugging you that much. Get a wax. See how that works out for ya :)
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