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teaching my guy to finger me

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
My bf has asked me to show him a) how I finger myself and b) how i want him to finger me
but I dunno wat 2 do n im kinda embarressed but dont no y! :blush:

plz help guys! :crazyeyes

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Nothing to be embarrassed about. Tell him you'll be happy to give him feedback if he'd like to have a try first?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yer - fear not buddy!
    It's definitely a good thing that he wants to know these things. He's being mature about it (unless he asked you in a text message :banghead: ), and wants to know how to pleasure you.
    If it bothers you, tell him to wait a bit. You don't sound too confident about the whole thing.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i really hate the phrase "fingering"
    dont know why
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    if i was you i'd finger him and say "just like that babe"
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi There, print this out and let him read it; Firstly, when rubbing her clit, up-and-down motions usually work better than side-to-side or circular. Sure, you can use the latter two to vary it every now and then, but, on the whole (whether fingering or using your tongue :p ), up and down on the clitoris usually works best.

    When actually using a finger or two inside of her (I'd suggest one for tighter girls--you CAN fit two, usually, but you lose a lot of maneuverability, and she'll be sore afterward), one of the better motions I've found is to push your finger all the way in, then bend it slightly when pulling it out, so it scrapes against the top of her insides. Not only does this feel really good, but it gives you a chance at hitting the G-spot. ;) If you do hit it, you should be able to tell by your partner's reaction. And, trust me, you need to find the G-spot sooner or later (sooner the better), and use it to your full advantage. That's one of the best places to start consistently rubbing when she's getting close to orgasm. ;)

    That's another thing- try to be consistent. You can vary your angle and fingering style sometimes during the session, but don't change every three seconds. And when she gets close to orgasm, DON'T change unless she tells you to. Get a little rougher and pump your finger a little further into her, great. Go faster, wonderful. But DON'T decide "Hey, maybe if I completely change my angle and rotate my finger THIS way" when she's near the edge- every time you switch, it sort of knocks her orgasm back a bit, and that can be really frustrating for her. And most importantly, when she's getting closer to orgasm, if she says for you to do something, DO IT. Harder, faster, rougher, whatever- she knows what she needs, and it'll help her orgasm along a lot if you just listen to her and do what she says. This is for HER, after all. :love:

    Also, pay attention to more than her genital area. I know it takes a lot of concentration to finger a girl, especially when you're new at it, and so you sort of forget to do anything else, but it makes the girl feel better and increases her general body sensitivity if you nip at her thighs, rub her stomach or breast with your free hand, do SOMETHING. Mostly, it helps her feel like something more than just genitals to you, and that means a lot to her general pleasure. You may even want to stop every now and then (provided she isn't close to orgasm because that would be just mean) to just hug and kiss her for a minute or two. It would give you both a break and would preserve the intimacy of it all.

    You can get a lot of pointers if you ask her to touch herself while you watch, and then pattern your motions after her. In fact, the first few times, you may want to ask her to finger herself or rub her clitoris herself, so that you can take care of just one of those aspects and learn what feels good while watching what she does on herself that feels good in the other area.

    Talk to her during the act. Tell her that she's pretty, ask her if what you're doing feels good, tell her you want her and that you like doing this, that sort of thing. That helps keep the intimacy going, making her feel like a person and not just a vagina, and also reassures her that you aren't bored. Many women are sort of paranoid that the guy isn't having any fun at all- make sure she knows that you are. Even after you are done, fully clothed, and alone, make sure to remind her just how much you enjoyed doing that for her. ;)

    Especially right after she has reached orgasm, don't pull your finger out suddenly. Unless it's part of hard, fast thrusts (and usually even then), your finger should stay in or come out very gradually. Ripping it out all at once can be very uncomfortable or painful for a girl. Sliding it very slowly can even serve to tease, and make sure you look her in the eyes and grin when you do this. She should love it. :love:

    Mostly, it depends on communication with your partner about her needs and wants. Some girls like it rougher or faster than others. Some like more vaginal stimulation, others want just clitoral. It boils down to reading your partner's reaction and asking her to help teach you what she wants. Be willing and ready to learn, and you'll do fine, plus it'll help for when you disappear on a Sat afternoon to watch footie.!!! :thumb:
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    littlemissylittlemissy Posts: 9,972 Supreme Poster
    If you do a search in this forum you will get lots of good responses. Hell, I even found this thread on the same page as this one.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    john the hippie wrote:
    Hi There, print this out and let him read it; Firstly, when rubbing her clit, up-and-down motions usually work better than side-to-side or circular. Sure, you can use the latter two to vary it every now and then, but, on the whole (whether fingering or using your tongue), up and down on the clitoris usually works best.

    When actually using a finger or two inside of her (I'd suggest one for tighter girls--you CAN fit two, usually, but you lose a lot of maneuverability, and she'll be sore afterward), one of the better motions I've found is to push your finger all the way in, then bend it slightly when pulling it out, so it scrapes against the top of her insides. Not only does this feel really good, but it gives you a chance at hitting the G-spot. ;) If you do hit it, you should be able to tell by your partner's reaction. And, trust me, you need to find the G-spot sooner or later (sooner the better), and use it to your full advantage. That's one of the best places to start consistently rubbing when she's getting close to orgasm. ;)

    That's another thing- try to be consistent. You can vary your angle and fingering style sometimes during the session, but don't change every three seconds. And when she gets close to orgasm, DON'T change unless she tells you to. Get a little rougher and pump your finger a little further into her, great. Go faster, wonderful. But DON'T decide "Hey, maybe if I completely change my angle and rotate my finger THIS way" when she's near the edge- every time you switch, it sort of knocks her orgasm back a bit, and that can be really frustrating for her. And most importantly, when she's getting closer to orgasm, if she says for you to do something, DO IT. Harder, faster, rougher, whatever- she knows what she needs, and it'll help her orgasm along a lot if you just listen to her and do what she says. This is for HER, after all. :love:

    Also, pay attention to more than her genital area. I know it takes a lot of concentration to finger a girl, especially when you're new at it, and so you sort of forget to do anything else, but it makes the girl feel better and increases her general body sensitivity if you nip at her thighs, rub her stomach or breast with your free hand, do SOMETHING. Mostly, it helps her feel like something more than just genitals to you, and that means a lot to her general pleasure. You may even want to stop every now and then (provided she isn't close to orgasm because that would be just mean) to just hug and kiss her for a minute or two. It would give you both a break and would preserve the intimacy of it all.

    You can get a lot of pointers if you ask her to touch herself while you watch, and then pattern your motions after her. In fact, the first few times, you may want to ask her to finger herself or rub her clitoris herself, so that you can take care of just one of those aspects and learn what feels good while watching what she does on herself that feels good in the other area.

    Talk to her during the act. Tell her that she's pretty, ask her if what you're doing feels good, tell her you want her and that you like doing this, that sort of thing. That helps keep the intimacy going, making her feel like a person and not just a vagina, and also reassures her that you aren't bored. Many women are sort of paranoid that the guy isn't having any fun at all- make sure she knows that you are. Even after you are done, fully clothed, and alone, make sure to remind her just how much you enjoyed doing that for her.

    Especially right after she has reached orgasm, don't pull your finger out suddenly. Unless it's part of hard, fast thrusts (and usually even then), your finger should stay in or come out very gradually. Ripping it out all at once can be very uncomfortable or painful for a girl. Sliding it very slowly can even serve to tease, and make sure you look her in the eyes and grin when you do this. She should love it.

    Mostly, it depends on communication with your partner about her needs and wants. Some girls like it rougher or faster than others. Some like more vaginal stimulation, others want just clitoral. It boils down to reading your partner's reaction and asking her to help teach you what she wants. Be willing and ready to learn, and you'll do fine, plus it'll help for when you disappear on a Sat afternoon to watch footie.!!! :thumb:

    Are you aware you didn't mention foreplay?

    Ouch.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    >>>are you aware that you didn't mention foreplay?<<<


    Yes of course :yeees:


    She didn't request that did she? ;)


    Your not having a pop @ me becouse i wrote from a male perspective are you :eek:

    If she'd asked for foreplay then i would have included oral sex :p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    just talk to him about it, if your too embaressed to be talking to him you shouldnt be doing it...........
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :thumb: My sentiments exactely!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    nicebutdim23 wrote:
    i really hate the phrase "fingering"
    dont know why

    I think it's cos it doesn't sound very sensual, it conjurs images of the type of action with which you would retrieve a pound coin from down the back of the sofa!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Simply need to practice on yourself before you can tell him what to do.
    Take some to yourself, lock your bedroom door and try to explore your tender spots. Aiming for your clitoris, etc.
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