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is it me or does she want to break up????

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Hi,im new here but ive been visiting the site for a while and i really need some help,its a long story but here goes,I always though me and my girlfriend were happy until xmas eve,i went round her house after work and as i usually did sometimes for dinner and to just hang out,it came to about 7 and she asked if i would go as she was tired ,i reluctantly agreed,as we went outside to say our goodbyes i asked her what was up as she seemed strange all night,after some nagging she told me that i was clingy and annoying,i was shocked by this,anyway after i got over the shock we talked abit and i told her why i was like this(as it is my first major relationship). It came to boxing day when i expected to see her next and she sed she did not want to see me,i thought this was strange but agreed anyway,the next day was a monday,a day that we had always spent together since we had been seeing eachother(5 1/2 months to that day),i again said ok as i expected to see her again in the week,it has now been 4 and a half weeks and i still have not seen her,we txt often but she is random with her txts,she always used to tell me she loves me but now she doesnt like hearing it let alone saying it,i am so confused,she says i never ask how shes feeling but i a lways ask her every day,i found out around a week ago that we were on a break but it wasnt a break up,i may be being stupid but it seems like a break up to me,she said she needs time to sort her head out as she has had alot of probs over the past year,im fine with this but i wish she would have at least asked me if she could have a break,when i txt her she says shes busy or doesnt reply and when i dont txt her she asks me what my problem is,i cant win woteva i do,to top it off today i asked her how her job interview went the other day(i found out she had a interview from her aunty who i bumped into at work),she txt me saying it was none of my business,i was like i thought i was your boyfriend,so after reading this slightly confusing thread what do you think? please help im caught in 2 minds what to do!!

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Firstly, consider using paragraphs.

    Secondly, if she is saying that you are being overly clingy, then the only way to rectify that situation is to be less clingy. Constantly texting her and such will not improve the situation, it will make it worse.

    My advice for you would be to leave her alone for a few days and let *her* make the next move, that way she will feel more in control of the situation.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ok,thanx for that,the other day I decided that i wasnt going to txt her for the day,I managed to do it up until about 9 in the eve wen i got a txt sayin wots up? I didnt reply to this and i got another txt sayin,whats wrong? I didnt reply to this either,then i got a txt sayin "well done youve got wot u wntd,takecare and gdbye xx"
    Its like if i txt her i get moaned at and if i dont i get moaned at,i will try what you said though and not txt her for a few days to see how that goes,i just dnt want to lose her but i dont think its for me to decide.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lil ben wrote:
    ok,thanx for that,the other day I decided that i wasnt going to txt her for the day,I managed to do it up until about 9 in the eve wen i got a txt sayin wots up? I didnt reply to this and i got another txt sayin,whats wrong? I didnt reply to this either,then i got a txt sayin "well done youve got wot u wntd,takecare and gdbye xx"
    Its like if i txt her i get moaned at and if i dont i get moaned at,i will try what you said though and not txt her for a few days to see how that goes,i just dnt want to lose her but i dont think its for me to decide.

    Yes but he also said wait until she makes the next move... and she did make the next move... have you spoken to her since that text?! you may have lost her already
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think you need to give her an ultimatum - either you are her boyfriend or not. She can't keep treating you like this - acting like your girlfriend when it suits her, you deserve better. I think you should just ask her outright what is going on and what she wants. It sounds like she doesn't want to lose you as otherwise she would most likely just end it completely, if you give her this ultimatum it might just make her realise what she does want and put your mind at rest because at the moment she is just wasting your time when you could either be with her or looking for someone who will make you happier in the long-term.

    Hope things work out whatever happens!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yea ive spoke to her nearly every day through txt and once or twice on the phone,she says she loves me before she puts the phone down so i really dont know.
    I txt her today to ask how she was and i got a mouthful and as i was so pissed off i asked her if she wanted to break up but she didnt answer that specific question,im determind not to txt her now until she txts me which i hope she does.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It sounds like a good idea and i think the same as you in that she would have ended it if she wanted to,i suppose im just scared of the outcome.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i don't know why you would waste your time with someone who would treat you like this, tbh.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yea that is what my mum keeps saying,its just im so in love with her that i cant think about my life without her in it,it sounds sad i know as there are plenty more fish in the sea as they say but i want her.ill wait for as long as it takes,my brain says end it and my heart says dont end it,im torn in 2.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    from where i'm sitting it just looks like she is making a fool out of you.

    your mum speaks the truth. you seem like a nice lad, and no one deserves to be shat on like she is shitting on you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah but it's only going to work out if you both feel that way. That's why you need to just speak to her and find out what she wants - either she's with you or not, if she feels the same way then she will choose to be with you, otherwise it may be upsetting at first but you can do a lot better and will be a lot happier in the long run without her. Just don't wait around for her, she won't end up respecting you for it!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lol,nicely put but deep down i feel the same i think,its just pissing me off the way she gets my hopes up by talking to me then pushing me dwn by bein nasty with me,in all honesty in havent done anything to deserve it,jus being clingy doesnt deserve this,she could of just said be less clingy,guess ill have to wait and see tho!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Another incident that occurred was about 2 weeks ago when one of my work m8s went to see her,he told me the next day that i should go and see her but when i told her i was going to come see her she said dont.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't really know what to make of this. It sounds complicated. You need to meet with her and talk through exactly what you have talked about on here.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yea i know but its hard when she says she doesnt want to see me,ive tried the ultimatum thing in not so many words and had no response,i guess ill just txt her in the next day or two and see what happens,i hope it all comes good though.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lil ben wrote:
    yea i know but its hard when she says she doesnt want to see me,ive tried the ultimatum thing in not so many words and had no response,i guess ill just txt her in the next day or two and see what happens,i hope it all comes good though.

    She needs to stop messing you around.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ask yourself

    'would I treat someone the way she is treating me?'

    Then think about your answer.....
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    texting obviously is not working, can you not go to her house?? if she wont let you in, or speak to u, just tell her there and then that it's finished and you wont let somebody treat you this way!
    Get out of it now, i know you love her, but you sound like u can do much better. u dont deserve this at all!
    *hugs*
    SBG
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    spongebobsgirl wrote:
    Get out of it now, i know you love her, but you sound like u can do much better. u dont deserve this at all!

    She's right. You can do better.

    Trust me.
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