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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Kermit
    Yeah, obviously.

    I don't understand couples who have children and then ship them straight off to the nanny, to be honest. I don't understand why you would have kids and then never see them through choice.

    I watched some docu-soap a few weeks ago about a woman who had three kids and chose to work all the hours going through choice not necessity. She didn't get her own kids out of bed, was at work by 7am every morning and back home after they were put to bed by the au pair. (Same goes for her husband). They were very wealthy. Those kids may have a hell of a lifestlye, but where is the love? :(

    Personally I reckon that if you want kids you have to want to spend time with them, but I maintain that you can do that whilst being in employment too, if you're unlucky enough to need to be. Even if I had a child I would still work part-time because I would feel the need to not rely on the state (given the fact I'm single!) but I don't think that people who don't work are wasting their lives or owt.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It depends on circumstances.

    I don't blame those who NEED to work, or even those who want to work sometimes, it's the ones who have a kid and then leave it for the (underpaid) au pair that annoy me.

    Personally I would be prepared to go without a few luxuries so that one of us could stay at home, at least part time, but it's not as easy as that in real life.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by BumbleBee
    Those who don't see very much of their children simple because they choose to work rather than need to work are the kind of people not fit to have children.

    No No No No No.

    Whilst I'm not a great fan of child minders myself, even I would not mark off the whole group of people who work more hours than they need to as being "unfit to have children".

    No. The people who are unfit to have children are the people who

    a) Have children knowing full well that they will not care for them.

    b) Have children expecting the state to pay for their ever increasing family whilst they sit on their arses and watch SKY.

    c) Mis-treat their children

    or

    d) Don't give a shit about their children and / or allow them to live in squallor or encourage them to skip school, etc.

    There are people far worse than those whom go to work more than they need.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Caring more about your career than your kids comes under (d) I think.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Mist

    Whilst I'm not a great fan of child minders myself, even I would not mark off the whole group of people who work more hours than they need to as being "unfit to have children".

    You can have a childminder and not work more than you need to :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Kermit
    Caring more about your career than your kids comes under (d) I think.

    Not if it's motivated by wanting to give your kids a better lifestyle.

    That all comes down to the reasons. A parent may not have to work, but if doing that work means that Johnny gets a nice toy for Christmas then maybe the parent thinks that that is better then being with the child during the working week. Is that wrong? Maybe, but then maybe to some people it does not seem wrong, and that's why they do it.

    But if they are going to work to avoid being with the child then yes, it comes under section d)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by BumbleBee
    You can have a childminder and not work more than you need to :p

    Clearly, but that really has nothing to do with much that I posted. I only mentioned the child minders because they had come up before and the assumption seems to have been that a child minder takes the place of the parent whilst the parent is out doing more work. Etc.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Kermit
    Caring more about your career than your kids comes under (d) I think.

    not in the slightest.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by BumblebeeI personally don't understand why a woman in this day and age would question the choices made by other women.

    Originally posted by Kermit
    Because they disagree with them. Which is fair enough IMHO.


    Question yes, disagree yes, but this always gets nasty, every time I've seen it discussed people have become defensive and personal which a couple of people have here. I'm all for questioning, constructive criticism, and peoples' right to their own opinion, but let's have a little empathy and tolerance as well. There isn't much to be said for narrow mindedness.

    I've been most of the things discussed in this thread at one time or another, and there are pros and cons to all of them.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I hope one day my girlfriend can make all the money and I can be a house husband for a couple of years, that would ROCK!
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