Home Sex & Relationships

new years arguement!!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
hi!
ok, please help me here, because im really confused!!! ive spoke to my mum about this+she told me that ive got to tell my boyfriend, but ive already tried+he sorta dismissed what i said!

me and him went to a new pub/restaurant (abit like wheatherspoons) near us the other day. It was great, we had a nice meal and he said "lets come here for new years eve. it'd be great, we could invite every1 and its only a 15minute walk away" i agreed+said it'd be great!
That was about 2 weeks ago. Last nite we went out with some people we were going to ask for a meal before xmas. I said to one of the lads "hey, what are you doing for new yrs eve?" to which he replied "we're all going to sarah's, arent we bob" (Bob, meaning my boyfriend, and sarah meaning the girl who's having this house party. Just changing names for privacy) My boyfriend agreed with this. So, i left it a few minutes, and said to him "what do you mean your going her's, what about going to the restaurant, like we decided??" He didnt seem bothered and basically said "oh well, i forgot, sorry"
This really upset me because i wanted to spend new yrs eve with my mates+his mates and him, all together in a restaurant. But instead he wants to go to this girls house (and i dunno where she lives, but he'll probably want me to drive, cos his car's off the road at the moment) and get shit-faced. If is done that i would have said "im reall really sorry, but i forgot that i'd already made arrangements, why dont you all join us at the pub+then me can go to her house", so that way everyones happy!
I now dont want to spend new yrs with him!! That shocked me, bcos although we haven't been getting on very well recently, i thought that i would have wanted to be with him to see in the new yr, but obviously not!
i understand he doesnt want to let his mates, and hopefully me, down, but surely he could've apologised to me for forgetting!
One of the things i liked most about him when we first got together was how he'd remember loads of silly little things. like, for the first 4/5 months we were together, he'd always say "happy 4 months" and even got me a pressie and a card once! I loved those things about him, having had b.f's in the past that didnt give a fook about me!
Be honest now - am i just over reacting??? Im going to arrange something with my best mate who's down from uni, but how would you have reacted if your partner (of nearly a year and a half) had acted this way!

And also (im sorry if i shouldnt combine 2 threads together, but its sort of related as its upsetting me more!)
Last week, he texted a girl he barely knows (aint spoke to her in about a year, and chats on msn once in a blue moon, and he met her once about 2yrs ago) asking how she was+then put "im ok, just putting up with my nagging g.f!"
The thing that upset me about this, was that i was due on and id told him id be abit moody+i apologised for it. Im always abit tearful every month and he's always been great about it. And it wasnt even like he was talking to a close mate about it, it was some girl he hardly knows!! and the way he wrote "putting up" sounded really bad to me! So bad that i actually finished with him bcos of it, but then he started crying and getting really upset, so i gave it another chance!! For some reason it didnt feel right being with him, but when i finished it, that didnt feel right either!
but even though he apologised, it still hurts Alot!!!
Advice please??
Thanx
SBG
P.S. He'll probably moan about me writing this if he knows bcos according to him texting some girl+slagging me off, and me asking advice on a dilema and getting an unbiased view, are the same thing!! He hates me coming on here, and always says i shouldnt!!
P.P.S. so sorry for the long ramble, thank you for anything who read this!

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think you should get rid of him if he can't treat you properly. texting some other girl & saying that is well out of order.
    As for new years, well do what makes you happy.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Tweety
    I think you should get rid of him if he can't treat you properly. texting some other girl & saying that is well out of order.
    As for new years, well do what makes you happy.

    thanx for your reply! i understand where you're coming from, and that was my first reaction. But once id finished things with him i felt like id done the wrong thing. Im torn in 2, bcos i do love him, but it just isnt as strong, and im not sure whether that's an ok reason to stay with him. He helped me through so much in my life, and apart from this we've never had rows that have stuck in my mind for so long. i dont want to lose what i have with him, he treats me lovely every other time+its only recently he's changed!
    im going to spend new yrs with my mate, and let him do what he wants!
    im not seeing him now until xmas day afternoon, so it'll give me a chance to try to sort my head out!
    More replies needed pls, and guys i want ur opinions too!!
    SBG
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i know how you feel about the ruining of plans because its happened to me too.

    i think it just gets to a point where one person cant be bothered to keep to their word, or make the effort
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If he can't be arsed to keep his word then let him go to that slag's party by himself.

    I hate people who do that, they are class A cunts. Sorry.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ok, first off, he has referred to you as the 'nagging gf' to someone he hardly knows - it demonises you, and makes you look like an obsessive nag to everyone else e.g he can't have fun because of you.

    Secondly, he has a problem with you coming to a board and asking for advice - probably because people here aren't afraid to say he's being a class A twit.

    I know you've said he's helped you through a lot, but I really think you deserve better.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thank you to all who've replied!
    Blah - i dont think its that he wasnt making the effort, its just that he forgot his arrangements.
    Kermit - ive told him he can do what he wants for new yr, but im gonna spend it with my mates who r down from uni.
    go_away - i totally agree with the demonising thing, thats exactly how i felt. in fact, its actually the opposite, i encourage him to go out with his mates with or without me. i dont know what his problem with the board is, maybe its a privacy thing?? Maybe its cos he thinks id rather talk to other ppl rather than him. But im gonna talk to him about it on sunday.
    I was going to go to his 2nite, and see him tomo, but im not. Ive told him that we both need abit of space+he agrees with me that it'd do things good!
    Cheers all, still feel free to reply!
    SBG
Sign In or Register to comment.