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Potentially amusing stories
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
doesn anyone have any intersting or amusing drug-related stories to share with us?
Just havent seen a thread like this for a while
Just havent seen a thread like this for a while
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i had a couple of mugs of mushroom tea and about 40 minutes later i could start to feel the mushrooms taking affect.
i can remember being in the kitchen of my mates house and someone that was there was making mushroom and cactus tea in a saucepan, he was pooring water into the saucepan and to me it sounded and looked like he was urinating into the saucepan, i couldnt stop laughing, then about 5 minutes later he was pouring some water from the tap into a mug and it looked like he was urinating into the sink.
i couldnt stop laughing for about 10 minutes and because i was laughing, everyone else in the room was laughing themselves to death as well, eventually i had to leave the room because i was laughing so much haha
oh what a night
about a dozen of us tripping on acid ...big raid.
two plain clothes who knew their stuff and about a dozen young plods who didn't have a clue!
we are all off our tits ...i can see through to the kitchen where two young uniforms are searching.
i see one of them pick up two 8 0z slabs of hash ...off the top of two egg boxes ...then put them to one side ...check the eggs and put everything back ...including the hash!
i got the awful giggles and the cops went away empty handed ...
everyone herded into police vans to be stripped searched down the nick.
evryones carrying ...a copper gets locked in the back with you ...searge searge ...they're all passing drugs around!
the guy with wraps of speed is passing them round ...the guy with acid ...the guys with dope ...everyones eating the stuff franticaly ...
as the hours pass by down the nick people are laughing hystericaly ...people sliding down the walls into a heap ...utter mayhem!
i experienced this about four times.
they changed tactics not long after.
he's only 16 btw, my mate drank a bottle of buckfast and necked a couple of pills, went for a drive in a car, stopped off to get petrol in a shop, cops pulled up behind, had a long car chase around the town, he eventually crashed into a wall, got arressted so he had to come up on E's in a police station getting quesitoned and charged for drink driving, no license etc etc, bet that was the worst buzz ever.
i said potentially funny, not fatal mate, jeez :eek:
had to appear in front of the magistrates for drunk and disorderly and possesion of a spliff.
in the police van i get my baccy out and skins and go to roll a fag and what do i find ...about ten quids woth of very nice resin in with the baccy.
still being a little off my head i lent over to the copper in the back with me and a few others and held it up for him to see ...'hey look what i found'!
as he got out of his seat i necked it ...burped and grinned ...stop the van he's yelling ...mr rolls got drugs on him!
they refuse to stop but i get seperated from the others and a strip search ensues.
they find nothing.
it's about two hours before i get to the dock and what happens ...the charges are read out to me and i'm asked how i plead ...i get the giggles and cannot stop to save my life!
it was getting embaressing!
but each time i managed to stop ...as soon as i tried to speak i started giggling again.
the magitstrates ordered me to be taken back to the cells while they went for lunch.
eventualy i get back in the dock without giggling but cannot remove the grin i have stuck on the front of my head ...even after having been ordered to removei it!
are you hgh on drugs mr roll? the mag asks ..."yesh your honour i'm shit faced i'm afraid so can we adjourn this to another time"? i reply.
the mag then asks the coppers how i have gotten high on drugs if i've been in there custody all day and night.
they are red faced and spluttering so intervene ...'one of the younger coppers down the nick had a bit to spare your honour and he very kindly gave me some of his' ...there was uproar!
it was adjourned and i can't remember what happened now but i was fined a tenner or something for being drunk and the cannabis charge had miraculously been dropped through lack of evidence!
There was also a statue of Mary beside us and he started saying she was going to come down and strike us..this at 4am us standing clean off our heads.
Talk about a freak out.
I dunno if that'll make much sense but i'm telling you whenever your off your face and someone says that to you and looks at you with big freaky eyes you can't do anything else other than freak out.
Or the time we ended up walking through a loyalist town at 10am with our heads up our holes walking around asking police for directions and only to find there was no buses on that day.:mad:
Talking to police clean off your head on 7 pills asking them to let you down a blocked off road that had a bomb on it, here was me and my mate to them " go on the fuck, let us down the road, it's only a bomb, go on no one is on the road".
There's been so many times, no doubt something fucked up will happen tomorrow night.
holy fuck i remember that, then ended up at a house in Parkhead estate with 25 yr olds with baseball bats and meat cleavers, fuck we get up to some shit.
Some gay boy buying 65 yokes for eating in a night, not for sale. Fucking nuts.
care to elaborate on that one gents?
there was a bomb on the main road to the shop so we had to take a long way around, when we got to the shop we were dying for a house party, so we saw some fella get out of a taxi and asked him for a party, took us up to some dodgy estate, walked in and there was about 10 or 15 "chavs" sitting there, they had knives and one took a baseball out with him when he went to his other mates house, said it was for protection, pure nutters, we were too off our heads to be scared, just having the craic really. i end up in some weird places though, i'd go any where for a buzz like.
one of the best ones was simply a drunk story;
14 years old and me and a freind got WASTED after school, real schoolboy suicide buisness. Just got a huge mixing bowl with vodka, whiskey, cider, wine, lager, gin and blackcurrent. And two straws.
So, absolutely paralytic, we decide to go down the road for a frozen pizza.
My mate falls in the fridge, goes up to the counter with frost on his eyebrows.
when we get back, i say something to him about 'dont put it in till i come back from havin a piss'. 'ok' he says.
So bout 5 mins later (was on the phone as well), i come back; why is the kitchen door shut, its never shut
He got impatient, and not knowing how to work the cooker, turned EVERY KNOB UP FULL!!! The room is filled with gas, and then i realise where he is.
He's leaning down with his head in the oven, at the back of the oven and im hearing this 'fft, fft, fft' noise.
I pulled his head back so hard he smacked the cabinet.
Dumb **** had his head in a gass filled oven and was trying to spark it with a lighter. Thank fuck, he had no flint!
well drunk more than stupid, but i suppose there aint much difference.
we have'nt had anything from the following people;
*ZOMA; i KNOW you've got some juicy tales *ahem* i mean i think you would have some insightful stuff that could help us advance our lives.
*BONG; where are you with the sage-like-fables?
*(dont think she's here anymore) but wheres Minxy when you need her?
*Rachie?; you've gotta have something for us
*Dunno if she comes in here much, but Zella?
*Skive; I KNOW for a fact you've got some juicy tales too!
(if i've forgotten anyone i apologise, all stories welcome, also i dont mean to single anyone out, im not trying to cosh anyone into bearing their soul for all and sundry)
thats a point, any experiences from the mods at all?
i'm sure they have had some mad lives, they work here don't they?
One night I agreed to let this dodgy guy drive me round in my car because I was off my chops, I'd had about 7 pills, 4 pints, spliffs etc so I didn't want to drive..
Anyway we got pulled by a traffic cop and he was wanted for armed robbery so he jumped into my seat (passenger) and I jumped into the drivers seat, the copper saw the switch - the guy ran and left me with a bag of 200 pills ..
I stashed the pills in the bushes by the car, the copper came running back, cuffed me, chucked me in the back of his T5, and starts chasing him !! fucking mental when you're that off it !!
Anyway, loads of cops turn up, they are out with dogs etc, I'm off my face speaking to about 6 of the fuckers while they breathlise and interogate me, and I'm trying to say I don't know who he was etc !!
Got put back in the back of the T5, realise I have my tin on me with about 10-12 pills in it, I managed to get it out from my pocket, and stash down the back of the seats in the cop car !!!
They caught the guy, gave me a producer, and let me fucking drive off !!
It's not nice driving to look sober AND drive past 6 or 7 police cars, I had to stop about 4 times to spew, I went and rolled a joint in a local car park and went home !
Then there was the time I burned my bedroom down when I was stoned, and 2 fire engines, ambulance and police came.. but that's another story !
fuck i bet you were shitting it.
I don't drive off it like some of my mates, I always get too pickled, so it was a bit of a shitter !!
couple summers ago was at my friends having a house party. her parents are right laid back and had had a cannabis plant a while before and ahem gave us the produce! was having a drink sitting in the garden rolling joint after joint, ran out of baccy so smoked them pure one of my friends nearly fell in the pond, starting making shit loads of toast doing ouzo shots eating vodka jelly, was absolutely fucked. then my friend whos skinny as a rake sat on a plastic chair which broke so we all pissed ourselves. then my mate, he turned to me and says "can i have the paki?" instead of baccy que us crying with laughter, we roll a few more smoke them, then at about 5:30am the neighbour rings the doorbell i go with the worst red eye ever monging my face off and the conversation goes like this (starting with me)
"yes?"
"look you've had your fun can you keep the noise down?"
"huh?"
"its 5:30 in the morning"
"yes"
" i wanna go to sleep can you be quiet"
"yeh whatever"
said neighbour then goes i shut the door then go to bed whatever, find out three weeks later he's a copper! lol luckily he didnt do anything!
I remember when you did that
I nearly got killed/beaten in South Africa after a nasty Morrocan dealer thought I was trying to rip him off.
Not really drug related but I nearly got shot in a Mooto shop in Jo'Burg once too. They had monkey heads on a shelf, it was a serious place and the woman I was with said loudly
"Oh how can they believe in this, they're so stupid"
I've been sick off a roof over looking Bondi, though that was just nasty, not really funny.
carry on (if you like)...:nervous:
So we're in a club there and was buying myself a bean, so I go off in this corner where there are this group of obviously moody North Africans.
I ask them if I can buy one, they say yes and drop one into an ash tray on the table. I ask how much and they say 100 (rand, about a tenner) so I reach into my wallet and hand him a note.
Except it was a 10, rather than a 100, he didnt like this and thought I was trying to scam him, I'm a bit flustered at this point because I dont really know the notes, so I hand him another one, a 20 this time and he starts to stand up and his mates clench their fists. I grab the 20 back, throw a 100 on the table grab the bean and run.