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I have to moan somewhere...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey all... Welcome to my private ranting place! :)

Blah, where do i start? Well, i guess at the beginning...

I was in love with a girl from my class, and i was very 'crushed' into her. Being the idiot i am, i kept it to myself for two years without telling her. After those two years passed, and after i realised almost everybody knew about my crush on her (thanks to my lousy mate who couldn't keep his f***ing mouth shut), i finally decided to tell her. I thought:
"Well, it can't be worse than it is now... I like her a lot, but she doesn't know it, so if i tell her, two things may happen. She'll say that she likes me too, or she'll tell me to go away"

So, one nice sunny day, i took the courage, and i don't really remember much of that, but i remember it was all very clumsy of me and awkward. Oh, and i watched it from a third person view, due to the adrenaline rush i had. She says no in the sweetes possible way, and i couldn't get mad at her or anything. I was just disappointed, but that's what i expected anyway.

It takes me two more weeks to stop crying over it, and to start realising my waste of time over her. several months later, i wasn't thinking about her at all, since it was school break, but i was still inhibited when it came to talking to 'other' girls. Other being 'girls that are not her'.

New school year starts, i get to see her again every day, but i can feel the difference... No more adrenaline rushes when i talk to her, i can think of saying something, and i finally started being completely relaxed. I thought: Great! I am finally over her!

Well, not quite. Although i don't get any butterflies or other insects in my stomach, i do try to steal looks at her, and looking into her eyes makes me really weird. Same as before, but no adrenaline now.

Ahh, if you really read through this all, you deserve a question now... Even though i know she said she just wanted to be friends with me and stuff, i still have a crush on her. And it's been on for 3 years! What the hell am i supposed to do? I can't avoid seeing her, as we go to the same class. I can't get together with her, she said no already. I can't forget her, nor can i get to like someone else. Now what? Any hints?

Sorry for the long thread/ranting/being a pain.

I'd really appreciate some advice on this.
Thank you in advance!

Comments

  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Warming up? Posts: 16,688
    You know, that story sounds very much like mine. It's normal (I guess) to still be feeling a bit weird about her, but it's not necessarily that you still have a crush; as weird as it may sound, it could simply have become kind of a "habit" for you, since it was what you did for 3 years.
    Since you talked to her, try not to think about it so much. It will wear off, believe it.
    I hope that was helpful at all... Good luck!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I totally agree with what Zalbor said, its probably a "habit" more than love or anything else, best thing is to try to really focus on your class that you share with her, and try your hardest to forget she is there, i know it sounds hard but its the best thing to do right now, or one other thing is......

    get closure... you could totally walk up to her and say "look i know i was a bit weird asking you out seen as we havent even spoken properly, but i was going through a bad patch, im totally over it" <
    that is a really really crap way to say it, but you need to think of a way to tell her your over it and that you have moved on, this is will help you to move on i think...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yes, but how can i just ignore her when she wants to be friends with me, and i want to steal every opportunity to be close to her? I know this doesn't mean much to you, but to me, she means the world. I know it's corny, and i know that i can't think rationally because i still have a crush on her, but i really fancy her a lot. I can't forget about her, because that would hurt her feelings. We are friends now, and she would take it personally if i didn't want to see her at all. I can't be that selfish.

    Actually, i'm trying to keep a positive attitude about it, and i've overcome my nerves when i get to talk to her, but it's all eating me from the inside. I even tried to get to like other girls (which is stupid, i know), but with no success.

    I'm really not helping myself...:)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sounds to me like u are helping yourself, and ive gotta say not only were you incredibly brave to tell her how u felt, but very very brave again to keep the friendship.
    sounds to me as if your crush has just died down, and your brain may be thinking "hey, its wierd not fancying anybody. i know...il make him think he still likes her lots" when you clearly dont like her as much as you dont get the adrenalin feeling and can talk to her more, etc!!
    maybe try spending time with her as a friend with other friends, so that its not just u and her. that way you wont start thinking luvvy duvvy thoughts!!
    its hard i know, but keep at it :thumb:
    SBG
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks everyone, you all really helped me. I guess you're right, i'm just getting used to not fancying anybody, and i feel that i'd be 'cheating' on my relationship with her, whis is absurd, because i never did have a relationship with her, but only an imaginary one. Maybe i'll have a talk with her, in order to settle things down in my head.

    Again, thank you all!
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