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My boyf's nan died.
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Me and my boyfriend were mugged Sunday night, we reported it to the police and they came to take our statements, as we were in the middle of explaining me and my boyfriend heard that his nan had died.
He was OK (well, supposedly) until we went to bed where he just cried and cried, I wasn't much help, I just didn't know what to do appart from tell him that I loved him and that I was there to talk if he wanted to. I think I could've helped better if I'd not have been so shaken up about the earlier incedent but I just really didn't know what to say or do.
I've only met his nan once or twice and spoke to her a little (I'm shy in front of his family) so I felt such an intruder to his and his families grief but I felt it would be too rude to leave.
I'm still no better at comforting him but you'd think I should be because in recent years I've had many family deaths. I just don't know how I can help him. I know from personal experience that it takes years to get over relatives deaths but I just don't know how I could help him.
Does anyone know how I could help him?
He was OK (well, supposedly) until we went to bed where he just cried and cried, I wasn't much help, I just didn't know what to do appart from tell him that I loved him and that I was there to talk if he wanted to. I think I could've helped better if I'd not have been so shaken up about the earlier incedent but I just really didn't know what to say or do.
I've only met his nan once or twice and spoke to her a little (I'm shy in front of his family) so I felt such an intruder to his and his families grief but I felt it would be too rude to leave.
I'm still no better at comforting him but you'd think I should be because in recent years I've had many family deaths. I just don't know how I can help him. I know from personal experience that it takes years to get over relatives deaths but I just don't know how I could help him.
Does anyone know how I could help him?
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Comments
I would just say be there for him to give him a hug and for him to talk to if he wants to. That's the most important thing - just being there and being a good friend for someone when they have lost someone.
A good way to think about it is to imagine how he would feel if you weren't around him right now - would it be better or worse for him? Same for you, imagine how you would feel if you werent with him right now - would that make you feel better or worse? Go with your gut here. Hang in there regardless and all t' best - youre doin a grand job so far by just sticking by him - priceless x
Here's a few wee factsheets around recognising the feelings experienced by the person who is grieving:
factsheet 1
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