If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Torn between Guy at Work + My Single Life
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
This guy at work asked me out before but I had to turn him down. He's lovely lad but then I did not find him attractive which I felt was quite important to have in a relationship.
ANYWAYS; I've been getting to know him and I really am starting to like him more than just friends. Usually this would be great. But I kinda have a fear of getting close with someone. I mean I'm only 19 and I don't want to get tied down BUT at the same time I can actually picture myself settling down with this guy long-term which I don't want to miss out on. Does this make sense?
I am sooo confused. I really don't like this feeling. Ya see, and this is exactly why I wanted to stay single.
My other issue is I have a fear that if I was to get involved with this guy, I may not stay faithful. Not saying I would go out and intentionally cheat. But I've just been soo use to pleasing myself that I may not get use to the idea of having to be faithful to my partner.
I'm confused so any suggestions would be appreciated.
Cheers!
ANYWAYS; I've been getting to know him and I really am starting to like him more than just friends. Usually this would be great. But I kinda have a fear of getting close with someone. I mean I'm only 19 and I don't want to get tied down BUT at the same time I can actually picture myself settling down with this guy long-term which I don't want to miss out on. Does this make sense?
I am sooo confused. I really don't like this feeling. Ya see, and this is exactly why I wanted to stay single.
My other issue is I have a fear that if I was to get involved with this guy, I may not stay faithful. Not saying I would go out and intentionally cheat. But I've just been soo use to pleasing myself that I may not get use to the idea of having to be faithful to my partner.
I'm confused so any suggestions would be appreciated.
Cheers!
0
Comments
Also, be ready for the gossip. . . . .
Though saying that there's quite a few couples at work.
i've had this, i think it's more of a crush that you're letting yourself get deeper and deeper into, i don't know you or this lad personally but i reckon you'se probably aren't right for each other, maybe you want to think you like him or something, anyway, being single is far better than anything no matter what people say, people change when they're in relationships, i'll wait a few years thank you.
and the fact you're working with him isn't making it better, let him down nice and easy, just say something like "i think you're great bla bla bla but i'm not a relationship type of girl" or just go for it, do what u want.
See I told ya it's confusing.
fuck it i've changed my mind, go for him, he seems like a good guy and i know how you feel like missing a chance and all that, try it out at least.
If you've been out of a relationship for long enough, you're bound to be scared when one comes up. It is a big step, and you're right to be thinking carefully about it, because once you start something like this, it's hard to go back and change your mind just like that.
I think you'd regret it if you didn't give it a chance at least.
I didn't believe it at first as he only looks about 22. hehe
Why?
And Turlough, he is a really nice guy. So so sweet and funny.
And that's exactly what I'm scared of as well. Thank you for being understanding.
just wondered whether he would want to either?
Well I'm not exactly expecting us to settle down straight away as I havem't even went out with the lad yet. Just explaining he is the kinda guy I would trust and can picture myself settling down with. (Not something I experience too often, which is why it kinda freaked me out.)
That's what I was trying to explain.
Then it really does just sound like a matter of plucking up the courage to take it to the next level.
I don't think there's a lot of point over-analysing how things might go in the future, or worrying about things before they happen.
Take a chance, and enjoy yourself pet :thumb:
Yeah I have a nasty habit of doing that. Me mates always get at me for doing that. The over-analysing.
Ya see, and now I'm really tempted to just go for it when I see him tomorrow night now.
....but will I feel the same way by tomorrow morning.
Yes, unless you over analyse :razz: