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Help me pleasee

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi guys

We're doing some articles about communicating in relationships and need some quotes for it. Just got a few questions here - if you could either post any replies below or drop me a PM I'd be eternally grateful! (You don't have to answer them all.)

1. What body language signs do you look out for to suss if someone is hot for you? Also, how do you know if you're wasting your time trying to chat them up?

2. In a relationship, what issues do you tend to keep to yourself, which you really should be sharing, and why do you keep quiet?

3. Have there been times when you knew your other half was avoiding an issue, and how did it leave you feeling?

Cheers everyone x

PS - there are some similar q's in Sex forum if you fancy answering more :D

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Relationship questions

    EDIT
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Help me pleasee

    1 - body language, hmmm :chin: Stuff like alot of eye contact, looking nervous/shy around you, i.e. fiddling with their hair,hands,etc.

    2 - i tend to keep my past to myself. if you get hurt in the past, it makes it very hard to talk about, but it should be talked about when you're ready! i kept my past quiet for a long time as i was scared of talking about it bringing back all the bad memories and feelings

    3 - i dont think ive ever had this with my b.f. but, if it helps, if i ever avoid an issue he always knows. he says its bcos of the way i struggle to sometimes meet his eyes+i sound quieter than normal

    Hope this helps
    SBG
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Help me pleasee

    1. I noticed that if men look at you in the eyes often, they seem to be the ones that like you. Like, they will just stare into your eyes.
    Simple touching is usually a sign that they like you. For example, patting you on the leg, rubbing your back or your arm, wrestling around, tickling you.
    I never think I'm wasting my time trying to chat a man up. Even if he is taken, i don't mind being just friends.

    2. I never keep any issues to myself. I like to bring everything out into the open, maybe even argue about it a little bit. As long as it gets solved, I'm happy, and there's no way for it to get solved unless you let the other person know that it's a problem.

    3. YES!!!! I get so frustrated and angry when my "other half" changes the subject when we are arguing about something.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    wow, those are some good questions

    1.)body language is pretty easy to read, if they are leaning into you or they would go out of there way to get next to you that is almost a sure fire way of knowing they want to be close to you. That and lite touching, smiling, flirting.

    2.) this is a question everyone should ask there partner... I think a lot of people tend to hold there breathes when it comes to religion and political beliefs. It causes a controversy between couples and can be kind of painful.

    3.) when my spouse is avoiding an issue I usually try to bring up things around it to see why it bothers him. If its really touchy I leave it alone, just think some people need to have things kept to themselves. I'm perfectly okay with that.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    1. What body language signs do you look out for to suss if someone is hot for you? Also, how do you know if you're wasting your time trying to chat them up?

    If someone has the hots for me, it tends to be reasonably obvious from the start. They'll usually be sitting with their mates but not paying much attention to the conversation and will probably keep passing glances at me. I know if I'm wasting my time when I'm chatting someone up because they seem dismissive and usually make up an excuse to go talk to someone else (though I tend to be a good judge and rarely waste my time ;)).

    2. In a relationship, what issues do you tend to keep to yourself, which you really should be sharing, and why do you keep quiet?

    Hmmm, this is a toughie. For me honesty is always the best policy in a relationship. I think that if anything is bothering you then you should dicuss it with your partner. The only time I'd keep something quiet is if I wanted time to think over it or it wasn't something that was too concerning.

    3. Have there been times when you knew your other half was avoiding an issue, and how did it leave you feeling?

    I've only had very short term relationships so far so this is a difficult to answer question, however I did notice that one of my ex's tended to avoid all the issues on his mind (this is why the relationship broke down). I actually felt really hurt and surprised that he didn't choose to dicuss most of what he was thinking with me, and I kept feeling like he could at least trust me enough to talk about things maturely. But instead, even if I confronted him and asked him if anything was wrong he would say "No, I'm fine." Or he would say "You should know what's wrong." Which didn't help at all and usually led into arguements.



    Hope this has been helpful :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Help me pleasee
    Originally posted by spanner
    1. What body language signs do you look out for to suss if someone is hot for you? Also, how do you know if you're wasting your time trying to chat them up?

    2. In a relationship, what issues do you tend to keep to yourself, which you really should be sharing, and why do you keep quiet?

    3. Have there been times when you knew your other half was avoiding an issue, and how did it leave you feeling?

    Cheers everyone x

    PS - there are some similar q's in Sex forum if you fancy answering more :D

    1. Eye contact is very important. That 'look' when someone's looking at you, but every time you catch their eyes they look away and pretend they weren't. Also, touch is important- from obvious things like trying to put his arm round your waist to him trying at every opportunity to get close to you!
    I know I'm wasting time trying to chat them up if they mention their girlfriend (d'oh!), or simply don't seem interested in anything I have to say, and don't really chat much with me.

    2. I tend to say everything to my partner, which can be bad, because I think I almost overload them with my problems. The only things I've ever kept to myself are perhaps sometimes when I'm really really upset or depressed, and don't want to talk to anyone.

    3. Yes. The issue of seriousness- i.e. what's going to happen when we go to uni?? And also if I ever mentioned the future, even if in a jokey way, my boyfriend would always avoid it, he's very practical and not emotional like me. It leaves me feeling exasperated, and I get paranoid that he doesn't love me as much as I love him, because he doesn't seem to care. But really I know that he just deals with things in a different way.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    1. What body language signs do you look out for to suss if someone is hot for you? Also, how do you know if you're wasting your time trying to chat them up?

    The most important thing to look out for if someone likes you is eye contact, and definately smiling. I know when I'm wasting my time trying to chat someone up when they don't engage in the conversation, or just keep nodding along to what I'm saying.

    2. In a relationship, what issues do you tend to keep to yourself, which you really should be sharing, and why do you keep quiet?

    The issues I tend to keep to myself is normally when I'm worrying about something, because I don't want to upset my girlfriend by telling her something that she can't do anything about. Still, it's not fair on her for me to be feeling down and her not knowing why.

    3. Have there been times when you knew your other half was avoiding an issue, and how did it leave you feeling?

    Normally it's best to tackle things head on, but I remember a while ago in a different relationship my ex kept trying to tell me she wasn't completely happy, but normally just hinted at it and when I asked her directly she said things were fine. After the relationship broke up I felt really cheated because things obviously had been going astray for a while but she never just came out and said it, just left stray comments here and there.
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