If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
Friends bro commits suicide
BillieTheBot
Posts: 8,721 Bot
Sorry I dont know where to post this but i am really worried about my friend, he found out that his bro commited suicide yesterday but he is trying to act like nothing happened and i really dont think he is ok at all
I really need some advice on what to do, should i leave him to it or should i try and get hm to open up and admit how he really feels about it, cause he broke down this evening while we were out and i'm off to uni on saturday but i dont want to leave him like this
any advice would be apreciated!
I really need some advice on what to do, should i leave him to it or should i try and get hm to open up and admit how he really feels about it, cause he broke down this evening while we were out and i'm off to uni on saturday but i dont want to leave him like this
any advice would be apreciated!
Beep boop. I'm a bot.
0
Comments
Are his parents around?
Does he have close friends that aren't going away to uni?
Do all you can before you go, but really there's not a lot you can do to alter how he'll be feeling. Presumably you will still be on the end of a phone if he needs to talk.
Not sure there's any magic answer to this. I won't advise bereavement counselling so soon, but it's always an option.
Hiya
What a horrible situation for your friend - of course he isn't OK at all, but he's in shock and trying to digest what's happened and how to react. It's so difficult to accept when someone leaves this life early - and for their loved ones left behind it can be unbearable trying to fathom out the unfairness of it all.
You are in a difficult position, too - you want to do something for your friend, but all he wants is to have his brother back and you can't do that. You may feel helpless, but all you can really do is listen, support and give your time. It's bad timing that you are about to go off again, but you can still support him from afar. Make regular phone call, emails etc and let him know you're thinking about him. Remembering important dates in the future, such as his brother's birthday, Christmas, and the date of his death will also help as these are the times when it is often the most difficult.
These links could help you - and you friend:
dealing with death
Helping loved ones through difficult times
Also, the CRUSE Bereavement Youthline Freephone 0808 808 1677, open 7 days a week is a good service for young people coming to terms with the death of someone close. You can also email (helpline@crusebereavementcare.org.uk) them or visit their website (http://www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk/) for more help.
I really hope some of this helps you and your friend. Just do as much as you can - although it won't feel like much to you, it's amazing how much your friend will appreciate it.
This is a difficult one. I talk regularly to a woman whose boyfriend killed himself. So, I know about the emotions. Is he OK? No. The guy is heartbroken, numb, devastated, saddened, angered... all types of emotions. Stand by him. Simply be there for him. That is all you can do for the time being. When he opens up (no mistake, he will) be there for him.
I dealt with my dads death about 1-2yrs later!
One thing you have to remember is the brother is happy now & no longer has the problems that were bothering him anymore. They are at peace.
This organisation may be of help to you/ your mate as well. They have a website and national helpline and are staffed by many who have been bereaved by suicide:
Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide (SOBS)
Centre 88, Saner Street, Hull HU3 2TR
helpline: 0870 241 3337
web: www.uk-sobs.org.uk
Take care,
Susie x
You never know how someone is going ot take news like that, if you can't be there to watch and look after him once you're at uni then try and find people that will.
Also there are helpline numbers, etc out there.
I'm awful when it comes to helping people in grief-I'm the one they ring when they want to talk about anythung but the grief-so perhaps if you do keep a close eye on him but also treat him normally-talk about that footy match or that fit bird who was eyeing him up.
I feel so sorry for you too-its so terrible being in the situation as its so awkward to handle and as everyone reacts differently, what works for one, won't work for another-wish you both the best.
I don't pretend to know, so don't take what I say for granted. I had read that grief has 4 stages, the first of which is Denial. It seems your friend is still in that stage, and it may hold for long. The next stages are Anger, Depression and finally Acceptance...
i dont know how i would cope with that, had his bro bin like this a while or was it all a sudden thing?
if i were you i would try and be there for him as much as i could but i would also be lost for words.
this is a hard one