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Best Wank Ever

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
what is everyones best plumtug ever? everyone must have one.

for bananaman - it was last friday night. i had been out and had a good night. drunk and a bit stoned, he got home at about 3am. he felt like partying hard - real hard - but no one was around so he did what any self respecting sex and drug freak would do ...........he ate the magic mushrooms he had picked earlier that day and lay down in bed with water, food, and a good porn. as soon as he felt the mushies kicking in, he whipped it out and stuck on the porn. he tugged his cockpiece for about 5/6 minutes tops - but when he climaxed, he cried out loud in ecstacy and was sure he had woken his sleeping family. it was absolutely awesome and bananaman strongly advises ejaculation on LSD. he can't really explain it, but i could have that much fun everytime i rubbed one out, i'd buy a chimpanzee maid and become a hermit.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The Skipper again commends your regailing of what seems to be an epic wank !!
    Cavey as they called me on my show in the late 70s and 80 s , also has a story that makes the Bible look lame.
    I am a fan of using narcotics to pepper up my love life.
    I pick according to the mood.
    Cocaine for wild single loving .....
    Weed for slow loving with a partner ...
    mushies for when I had no sex planned and end up having it any way ( awesome )
    and POPPERS for a bloody good beef beating !!

    I know, I know ....."Oh thats a gay drug" , "That makes you bung hole expand " Rubbish !! Its a head rush that I defy any one to try just as they are about to geezer across the room !! The feeling is almost too much.
    While staying home from work a couple of months ago with a chest infection, I found myself watchiing boring T.V .
    Then it happened .... Boing !!
    It would not feck off and i honestly did not want it. I tried ignoring it , shouting at it, lying on it and squeezing.
    It was like the battle between Moby Dick and captain A-Hole or whatever his name is. After a long time I eventually caved , crammed a dvd in ( Ass clowns its called I think ) , and we were off !
    This was tough one , but I finally got a handle on it , and gave it my best , Soon I was beating the enemy hand over fist. When the time was right i jostled across the bed like a large seal too afraid to release and had an almighty snifter of Poppers

    KKaaaaaaaaBBBBOOOOOOMMMM >>
    game over , I was out for another couple of days trying to recover
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    awesome - have never really introduced poppers into the bedroom but i have been thinking about it now for a long time. must get some this week and try it out this weekend. .........

    i just reminded myself of an urban myth i heard years ago - apparantly about a guy who lived near me. he was in his room, tugging his tulip and even though he knew his ma was at home, he didnt think he'd be disturbed - so he lay down on bed, completely naked, closed his eyes and went hell for leather with the naked conductor. when he finished, he looked uo to see a steaming hot cup of tea beside his bed - THINK ABOUT IT.......

    probably not true though........
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by bananaman
    awesome - have never really introduced poppers into the bedroom but i have been thinking about it now for a long time. must get some this week and try it out this weekend. .........

    i just reminded myself of an urban myth i heard years ago - apparantly about a guy who lived near me. he was in his room, tugging his tulip and even though he knew his ma was at home, he didnt think he'd be disturbed - so he lay down on bed, completely naked, closed his eyes and went hell for leather with the naked conductor. when he finished, he looked uo to see a steaming hot cup of tea beside his bed - THINK ABOUT IT.......

    probably not true though........

    Oldest urban legend about masturbation ever.

    prolly the only one
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah its an oldie alright, but a goodie!!!

    are you not going to post a best wank ever story?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lol, how amusing.
    Ass clowns

    I have a good'un called Ass Worshipers 4 which has quite a fit German bird on wich is always worth a humble tug to.

    It has to be said, most Jordan Capri movies do it for me. Just get any ones where she doing girl on girl. She's one dirty little minx and I must say one of my faves for keeping in the spank bank.

    Not one of her best pics but still.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by bananaman
    awesome - have never really introduced poppers into the bedroom but i have been thinking about it now for a long time. must get some this week and try it out this weekend. .........

    i just reminded myself of an urban myth i heard years ago - apparantly about a guy who lived near me. he was in his room, tugging his tulip and even though he knew his ma was at home, he didnt think he'd be disturbed - so he lay down on bed, completely naked, closed his eyes and went hell for leather with the naked conductor. when he finished, he looked uo to see a steaming hot cup of tea beside his bed - THINK ABOUT IT.......

    probably not true though........

    That myth came from Human Traffic. It's where Moff knocks one out and his 'ma comes in the room with a cuppa or something. Can't remember, not watched it in a while.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by bananaman
    yeah its an oldie alright, but a goodie!!!

    are you not going to post a best wank ever story?

    Ahhh, I don't think so. Slightly :blush:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Felix Da Housecat
    lol, how amusing.



    I have a good'un called Ass Worshipers 4 which has quite a fit German bird on wich is always worth a humble tug to.

    It has to be said, most Jordan Capri movies do it for me. Just get any ones where she doing girl on girl. She's one dirty little minx and I must say one of my faves for keeping in the spank bank.

    Not one of her best pics but still.


    very nice i have to take a lookk myself

    personall i have weapons of ass destruction, trained teens and flesh hunter 1 + 2 ;) - my favs the aurora snow and 2 guys, the jenna haze gangbang, and malories marx first anal ;)

    i fink ur ladies called katja if im rite, bit chunky she is
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *self censored image*


    "yes im sure this si the first time i got my kit off.....:rolleyes: "
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by wheresmyplacebo
    very nice i have to take a lookk myself

    personall i have weapons of ass destruction, trained teens and flesh hunter 1 + 2 ;) - my favs the aurora snow and 2 guys, the jenna haze gangbang, and malories marx first anal ;)

    i fink ur ladies called katja if im rite, bit chunky she is

    Yes your right Katja, she is a little chuby but then again perfection isn't always perfect :).

    Roco's Reverse Gangbang is another good'un to watch out for. I think there's a bout 4 of them from what I've seen.

    p.s, I have a link to a few of Jordan Capri's movies and pics.. If you want it PM me.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    roccos reverse gangbangs, i swear that guys just making films for his own pleasure now, porn is about ever so slightly possible fantasises, not having 15 ladies at once :p

    ps - thoselinks sound gud! ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    if only i culd come home to that on my bed
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ahh yes, Jordan and Taylor Litte, not sure who the other bird is. Don't know her last name but a bird called Devon is fit as well.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Get a wank in .....

    I like how this thread has gone from best wank ever to , " have a wank to this " !!

    Rocco is an artist who should be given a medal for being able to satisfy so many chicks at once.

    Yeah Ass clowns is good, as is new blood, Lovin the nub, she fucks goats, and Tales from the farm !!


    Now where are the hilarious funniest or most embarrassing or GREATEST wank stories ??
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You like to watch a chick blow goats?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Nah ! Just kidding , I just wanted to get people back to the subject of best wank. Its always a funny topic !!
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    ClaireBearClaireBear Deactivated Posts: 467 Listening Ear
    Hiya,
    I've deleted some pics from this thread and I realise that it's probably a little heavy handed but it's worth remembering that this is a safe place for young people to discuss their worries/problems/issues, specifically about sex and sexual health. If you read the forum FAQ you will see that what it isn't is a place to boast about your sexual exploits etc.

    The main reason I'm saying this is that in recent weeks there's been a lot of stuff on this board about people's sexual exploits rather than info seeking and discussion and although we don't want to clamp down on the threads here you should keep in mind that there might be a lot of people out there getting off on this stuff rather than wanting to support people through their problems.

    This isn't a warning to anyone in particular it's more a friendly word in your shell-like(s).

    Thanks,
    CB
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