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Blnde-Bombshell - Sorry to be blunt but what the fuck are you doing to yourself shooting this up. Looked at your picture and you are a very very attractive girl, this won't be the case for too long, you will be a skinny wreck who looks like someone has got a vacuum and sucked every single ounce of fat from your body and your face, you will be ashamed to wear a short sleeved top, will never wear a skirt again through embarrassment and I know you don't think so now but this will definately fuck your life up, not only that it will fuck your families life up and everyone close to you will be affected.
I'm a brother to an ex smack head and my mum n dads life has being ruined (still) by it. My dads on medication to deal with everything he's being through, even though he is now clean. he was on it for 3-4yrs and it has taken him 3yrs to get clean. Now he's 24yrs old n has lost all his teenage years, he goes out drinking and fighting now thinking he is 16 still, what a waste when everyone who knew him said "he used to be sound your brother". I think he is a nobhead and it will take me a lot of years to forgive what pain he caused my mum n dad.
Just please think about what your doing, addiction to anything involving heroin is not just bad news it is a disease that is hard to get rid of and will follow you for years.
Think it's a mix of coke and heroin but can't be sure.
My mate was just like your brother. Been clean for two years but is 31 going on 15. Goes out fighting and boozing even though he's got a metal plate in his head from mouthing off to the wrong people and getting kicked shitless.
But I think the term speedball is somewhat a cover all for a stimulant with a downer.
I just barely said that I'm aware of the risks.
Yes, I know my life is in danger from doing this but I dont want to stop right now.
I'm not going to let that happen. I've been doing it for a good number of months and I still look healthy.
I'm not going to fuck their lives up because I have alot of money saved up from working and I also have a trust fund that I can now have, so I wont turn into one of those people who steal money or possessions in turn for drugs. I won't ever let that happen and if it does ever happen, then I'll just admit myself into treatment.
I'll be totally honest here, I'm not myself without it. I dont feel like a good person when I'm not high on it. I can easily talk to people when I'm on it and when I'm not, I fumble and stutter for words frequently. I can easily take my families criticism about me when I'm high because I can control my temper and when I'm clean, I kick and scream and break everything.
I know thats already a bad sign, but I can't stop. I can't go a day without it. So until I'm ready to go into treatment and get help, I'm going to keep doing it. I know what you guys are gonna say, yeah it is stupid and I'm making a big mistake by still doing it, but I know the risks and it scares me to think that I'll fucking die with a needle in my arm but I can't bring myself to quit.
Good luck till you decide you need help.
Remember one day you want to go back to being a `good girl`. Youre making it so thats less and less likely to happen.
People dont give up stuff like that because they start not liking it anymore. Thats why its so hard.
You have no chance of a normal life when youre on it because youre controlling your moods with it. Theres no spontaneity like there is in real life - just feeling happy because its a nice day and the sun is shining. Happiness only comes when youve got some, and isnt there when you havent got any - nice day or not.
Is anyone ever ready to quit heroin?
Please be aware that not many people get out of that alive, especially women, but its not too late. If youd never had it it would be better because you wouldnt know what you were missing, but its not too late, youre not doomed if you get yourself into rehab as soon as possible. Please dont waste all your trust fund that your parents worked hard for you to have, and please dont waste yourself.
Please dont let this fall onto deaf ears.
Stupid enough, I guess I'm just waiting for something to go BAM!! and then I'll stop.
going back to a 'good girl' used to be on my agenda. But I've gone past boundaries to ever go back to being good.
I just have the image in my head that one day I'm just going to wake up and say, "I'm gonna stop shooting up." And that'll be the end. But I know that would never happen.
Besides the fact that no one is my family is stopping me from doing it. Well, they just haven't said anything to me about it. My mom said ages ago that she was gonna send me to residential treatment(looooong term hospital) but she sees my needles everywhere in my room and never says a word to me.
Couple weeks ago, my moms friend came to stay with us and when my brother was giving her a look around the house, they went to my room while I was in it and saw my needles everywhere. She was in shock what they were all for and I just said I'm using them for my training to be an RN (which was bullshit) but my brother glared at me when I said that. So it's like everyone in my family knows what I'm doing, but it's just not talked about.
Yeah, I should probably go into treatment but I'm not ready to give up speedball just yet.
Well I'll do it anyway, email him if you fancy, he's been there and done that, come off and is now a manager in a drugs charity.
I'm sorry, this is quite random, but you are just so nice.
and...
I guess it's not really in the same boat of things, but thats so true. My ex's good friend was pretty much forced into treatment for alcoholism, never once did he complete it until it was finally his choice. Just hearing so much of that all the time I guess its just if you don't want to quit, or if its not 100% your choice, even given the treatment, quitting won't necessarly happen. Just when you're ready. But I do hope, like everybody else here that the one day is soon. Who knows how long you will end up being the pretty lady you are and turn into the typical looking addict.
I just told the exact same thing to him.
Getting pregnant was the only thing that made me wake up and think I had to stop.
It sounds like a classic case of family not knowing how to help. They obviously care about what you are doing but don't know how to deal with it. Maybe it's a case of all of you helping each other through? If you approach your family directly and tell them you are worried about your drug use and want them to help you they will feel more involved and empowered to take control. Give it a go - if they know about it already, you've got nothing to lose. I'd love to give you some useful resources/organisations to contact too but unfortunately it's hard for us to recommend anything overseas, but I'm sure if you see a health professional that you trust they would be able to help you on that.
take care my dear
Hannah Spanner x
Tbh, I don't really know what would make me stop.
Me and a couple friends were talking about this and even if one of them died from OD'ing, I'd feel terrible but I don't think I'd be able to stop.
He's so 'smart' he doesnt realise what a fucking dumb ass he can be sometimes.
And thank you, I am nice arent I, me me me, lovely!
Just hope you get help before it is really too late
can be heroin and speed or heroin and coke. not sure which is the best or the most dangerous ...but dangerous they are.
i was willing to take those risks for the thrill of the ride ...i survived.
the bad news ... injecting street drugs WILL take away your good looks if you keep at it to long. the good news is that most people do survive but ...most go to hell and back in some form or another.
it will fuck your life up ...long or short term but fuck you up it will.
BB ...try and take a daily dose of codliver oil and ...10 mil of extra virgin olive oil everyday. along with as good a diet as possible but ...those oils will help you long term.
Because everytime I saw her, she made my nuts tighten, mwahahah !