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Disowning

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
What would someone have to do for you to disown them, like a relative, parent or child?

Today we heard my 14 year old cousin (in Canada) was confronted by a guy with a gun because his older brother is wanted by the friends of the guy with the gun. His older brother is currently in Jail awaiting trial for something.

He wasn't harmed but now his parents have had enough and want to move far away and maybe disown their eldest son who's brought them so much grief for the last 5 years, always being introuble with the law.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If my son or daughter was involved in serious crime (murder, rape, aggravated burglary, etc) then I would have no child.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Kermit
    If my son or daughter was involved in serious crime (murder, rape, aggravated burglary, etc) then I would have no child.

    ditto

    anything horrible like beating old pensioners etc
  • littlemissylittlemissy knit chick Posts: 9,972
    i think though that no matter how despicable a crime/whatever my child did then i think that it would be sad that they would not have their parents to stand by them. just because you do not agree with what they have done doesnt mean that you disown them imo.

    i would like to think that i would never disown my children, even if they did shoot someone down. a parent should never just "disown" their child. its not a nice thing.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If my son was a rapist then disowning him would be the nicest thing I would do.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Kermit
    If my son was a rapist then disowning him would be the nicest thing I would do.

    I'll be honest, I think I agree. I would like to think it impossible I could raise another human being to be capable of such a thing, I'm sure everyone would agree with that. However I don't think I would be able to forgive another human being that I had raised and moulded in my own image (yeah I know that sounds silly to say!) if they inflicted such misery on another human being.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ive thought about this. Like what on earth would I do if my son grew up and did something terrible.
    If im honest, I know I would still love him - with all my heart - whatever he did. I would be ashamed and wish he hadnt done it of course, but I dont think I could ever stop loving him, hes part of me.
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Warming up? Posts: 16,688
    I think I'd agree with Kermit... though I haven't ever really thought about this matter, so that might change.
    What annoys me is that some people disown their children for just about anything they disagree with... like a teen pregancy or the "wrong" job choice.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Zalbor
    I think I'd agree with Kermit... though I haven't ever really thought about this matter, so that might change.
    What annoys me is that some people disown their children for just about anything they disagree with... like a teen pregancy or the "wrong" job choice.

    That's too true. As someone else was saying, I have no dad either, he disowned me and the minute he did that, he wasn't my dad any longer.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Honestly, I can't say. Until I've had a child I don't think I'd be able to think about it, even hypothetically.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I want to disown my brother. He's brought to much pain to me.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Girl_gunner
    Honestly, I can't say. Until I've had a child I don't think I'd be able to think about it, even hypothetically.

    :yes:
  • littlemissylittlemissy knit chick Posts: 9,972
    Originally posted by rainbow brite
    Ive thought about this. Like what on earth would I do if my son grew up and did something terrible.
    If im honest, I know I would still love him - with all my heart - whatever he did. I would be ashamed and wish he hadnt done it of course, but I dont think I could ever stop loving him, hes part of me.

    it was this i was trying to say. i dont have children yet but i do think that this is the stance i would take.

    its not nice being told by your parents/mother/father that they do not have a daughter. its happened to me before and it hurts.

    ok, we are talking again now but that is not the point. its not nice being told that your own flesh and blood is refusing to acknowledge your existence.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by littlemissy
    its not nice being told by your parents/mother/father that they do not have a daughter. its happened to me before and it hurts.


    That must have been awful for you :( .
    I dont know how anyone could do that.
    I remember reading something recently about a man whod done some terrible things (cant remember what it was) but th ebit that struck me was his mother standing up in court, basically saying she`d always thought he was strange and weird from childhood and had always felt disgusted by him and didnt love him.
    when the man had heard his mother saying all that he broke down sobbing`.
    It broke my heart to read it. It made all the things he had done pale into insignificance in a way, because if he didnt have his mothers love from the start, what incentive did he ever have to be good? She probably made him the way he was.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by rainbow brite
    She probably made him the way he was.

    That's probably the crux of the whole issue really.

    People who do bad things generally do so because something got damager in the wiring. Ho hum.

    Although it has to be said that I do believe in inherent evil.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't think that you can answer that question until you are put in that situation. Its amazing what people will put up with for people they love.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Blah_ha
    I don't think that you can answer that question until you are put in that situation. Its amazing what people will put up with for people they love.
    exactly, and especially for your own child - its not like other love.
    unconditional love is just that - unconditional.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If my son did something like rape or murder then I'd shop him myself.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Whowhere
    If my son did something like rape or murder then I'd shop him myself.
    that wouldnt necessarily mean you didnt love them anymore.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my sister stabbed my mum on my 12th birthday, infront of me, putting her in hospital for nearly two weeks. she also stabbed a girl that attacked her a few years later, leaving her in hospital for a couple of days. these are both horrible things, and i was sickened by them. but did i disown her? no way. its hard, you hate what they've done, but you cant stop loving them. sure there was that initial period when i vowed that i would have nothing to do with her, but that soon went out the window when she popped around and showed how remorseful she was. blood certainly is thicker than water, and although i didnt condone her actions for a second, i cant live my life holding a grudge. you have to forgive, if you find it in yourself possible.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just down the road from me there's a 14 year old. He lives with his mum and step dad. Up until a little while a go when oringinally it was just him and his mum. He hated the step dad and so his mum turned him out and he's been staying with friends and other familie have been feeding him. He wanted to go home so he tried to patch things up. He got angry (under so much stress at not having a home and no longer having a family that acknowledges or cares for him) got angry, barged his way into the house up to his room. It's not there anymore. It's like he never existed, his mums thrown all his stuff away and made it into a different room. Now THAT I cannot understand.

    In the paper, the sister of the boy who stabbed another boy through the heart and killed him, says she's disowned. Damn straight I would!!! I wouldn't want to be anywhere near some one who had so little respect for human life
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It'd have to be something pretty horrendous like, murder or rape.
    Either that or just being an evil bastard in general, not quite sure how to say it but there are certain types of people who just disgust me with how they are the views and attitudes they have and how they treat people. How they can just use people, bully and pick on them, etc.
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