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Anyone can be nice, but not everyone can be interesting.
You'll have to accept that I can't be arsed writing "most women" and "some men" every time I'm talking about a sex... So don't go accusing me of taring everyone with the same brush, just use your brains.
As a general rule, the bad lads that women tend to go for are the most confident type of lad. You can be polite, charming, gentle and all that bollocks - but you will never be as confident as a bad boy. The reason for this lies in the reason for their confidence. What am I talking about, you ask? The reason bad boys are so confident is because the vast majority have grown up being the best looking boys in their area. So really, when people moan on about how girls "always go for the bad boys", they're just as well saying "they go for good-looking boys, who just so happen to be bad". Make sense?
A lot of people, girls especially, are under false impressions of what a "bad boy" is. While they may think that a boy is 'bad' if he cheats on women, he is really just using some womens inhability to keep their hands off him to his advantage. How shitty of them, but this behavior is not unfamiler amongst women either. Try not to confuse bad-boys with boys-who-treat-girls-badly.
There are, of course, special circumstances where a good-looking guy may not be a bad boy. Two of the most common are where the lad was beat as a child and was learnt to treat people with respect, or if the lad had "ugly-duckling syndrome" (weren't good looking in their younger years but have grown to become handsome).
A common term used in this situation is "nice guys finish last". Bluntly put, a lot of 'nice' guys feel that they are entitled to date women who are of a higher level of attractiveness than themselves. This is because they see themselves as 'nice' in comparison to the bad guys, who often get what they want. It is often the case that a girls initial impressions of a guy are based on his looks; but the fact that they were noticed in the first place (unless they are extremely good-looking) would be down to their confidence which would make them stand out in some way or another.
I refuse to believe any girl who says that they'd pick a nice guy over a bad guy any day. Maybe they've had bad experiences in the past, but they would make the same mistake over and over again because human emotions rule over reasonable thinking.
Girls often say that they want a "sensitive, thoughtful, caring guy who has still got a bit of a bad boy side to him". Not asking for much then? A note to you all; bad-boys and nice-guys are the .o.p.p.o.s.i.t.e. to each other. This means that they can be either one or the other, not both. I'm not saying that a guy is either totally nice or totally bad, I'm saying that you'll never get the perfect combination of what you want and only in rare cases will you get something close. You will all wish that they would be a little bit nicer or a little bit more bad, this is because what you want does not stay constant and fixed forever! If it does, then you'd propose the complaint: "my guy is too predictable, he's nice an' all, but I just wish he was more spontaneous".
So to all the guys who are constantly hating and bitching about the girls who drop them for bad boys, why not try re-evaluating your lifestyle and asking yourself if it is you who is being the 'unreasonable' one? Do you really think that you would be happy even if you did end up with her? All of you are really as bad as one another. I'm not affected because I'm an hermaphrodite with the emotional feelings of an alien, tbh.
Disagree if you wish, but I guarantee that there is an element of truth in what it is you're disagreeing with. Just because I can't be arsed to repeat myself and may not point it out to you, doesn't mean that you shouldn't consider what other people have to say if you truely want to unsolve this "mystery".
Hope that helps.
Tom.
I agree with alot of the material thrown around in this topic. I see that girls don't want a gentleman as such. They want a guy for who they really are and if that means forgetting the odd door or asking if they had any money for that meal is perfectly normaly cuz no body is perfect. I spose the gent just doesn't cut the impersonations as much as my confidence should. I used to be a party host for a local bowling alley so I should know confidence over manners! They want a guy who respects his lady yet is kinda manleh
Thanks for the response, guys.
Phew...I think just about every active member posted in here!
erm sorry I have to agree there. I have been out with both types of guys. But girls do learn. They grow up (something men never seem to do). We re-evaluate what we want from rels as we get older it's only natural. What I wanted when I was still a teenager is very different to what I look for today.
I look at guys in clubs these days on the rare occassions I go out on the pull. The confident lads I play. they get turned down, messed about and basically brought down to size. The nice guys, the quieter ones are the lads I go for. Purely because at the end of the day, in my mind due to stereotypes, the confident lads are the bad lads only after one thing and that aint what I want. The quieter ones are the nice guys who ya never know something more might happen with, but they won't be only after 1 thing either most the time. Yes I'm generalising but sorry they're the impressions given.
But tbh these days I only date guys I've got to know first and have a solid friendship with to help build a rel on and the only lads you truely get that with are the nice guys.
As soon as I started reading that, before I even go to the end of the paragraph and read your comment, I was thinking "Bloody hell, she's not hanging around"
So, how did that happen? And how did it happen so quickly? Are you sort of on the rebound?
Long long story hun. I've been mates with Darryl for a while....bad thing he only lives 6 doors down from Asa and used to work with him but there we go.
End of the road I saw Asa for the untrustworthy, disrespectful swine that he is. Darryl has been going through a tough time and we've grown closer and closer over that time. Got to know each other really well. Went out for night out and one thing led to another. If I admit the truth I've fancied him most of the time I've known him as well, never would have done something whilst I was with Asa, but I was allowed to look eh
SO we just taking things easy, but the one thing I will say is going out with a guy who...I trust, who respects me, worships the ground I walk on etc, and yet also will stick up for himself, not let me get my own way and when he's got an opinion he states it, rather than just agreeing....is a new experience. hehe