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Friend with chlamydia

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
One of my friends (a girl) recently found out she has chlamydia and told me in confidence. The thing is she has no idea when she got it or from whom.

I am friends with an ex of hers and I know they slept together. The thing is I can't convince her to tell any of her ex's. Several of them she is not in touch with anyway so couldn't even if she wanted to. But one guy we both live with and see everyday.

Should I keep quiet and know that her ex may have it and be passing it on to other girls or should I keep quiet to protect her?

I like them both equally and don't generally stick my nose in but I hate the idea of him having it but not knowing.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why are you deliberating this? People's sexual health is at stake, this is The Site. We will only tell you to do the right thing and ensure your friend tells everyone she's slept with otherwise she's gonna spread it around and if it's not dealt with it may well turn cancerous, same for the people she's been with or whatnot.

    It's only the right thing to do. I wouldn't like to be in the dark about something as life threatening as this if it effected my sexual health.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by 1983
    Why are you deliberating this? People's sexual health is at stake, this is The Site. We will only tell you to do the right thing and ensure your friend tells everyone she's slept with otherwise she's gonna spread it around and if it's not dealt with it may well turn cancerous, same for the people she's been with or whatnot.

    It's only the right thing to do. I wouldn't like to be in the dark about something as life threatening as this if it effected my sexual health.
    Ok. But isn't it betraying the girl who told me in confidence? If I could be sure that they always used condoms would that make a difference?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Randomgirl
    Ok. But isn't it betraying the girl who told me in confidence? If I could be sure that they always used condoms would that make a difference?

    Come on, it's chlamidya. Didn't you read Company last month?

    I don't have my issue, but a lot of the women in the survey didn't have a chlamidya test, I think it was around 40-50% of them.

    Taken from the Company website -

    "Don’t ignore the silent STI

    We tackle lots of subjects affecting young women at Company, but one subject we’ve noticed cropping up in your letters again and again is the STI chlamydia.
    It’s not just the increasing number of women being diagnosed with chlamydia that’s worrying; it’s the fact not nearly enough women are getting tested for it – which means many of us could have it without knowing. And with far-reaching consequences, like pelvic inflammatory disease, ectopic pregnancy and even infertility, we need to act now to stop it spreading.
    That’s why we’d like you to read the following stories of women, just like you, who’ve been affected by chlamydia, and then help us and the Government tackle the problem head-on. We’d like you to go to your GP or Genito Urinary Medicine (GUM) clinic and ask to be tested for chlamydia, then let us know how you got on. What happened when you asked for a test? What did you think of the test itself? And what were the results? And if you could also fill in our survey, the Government have promised to use the results as part of their plans to get more young women tested – and stamp this out. Email me your experiences at victoria.white@natmags.co.uk We’ll keep you posted on how we get on.
    If someone asked you if you had chlamydia, how would you react? Most of us would probably swear blind we didn’t – after all, nice girls don’t get STIs, right? Wrong. At the moment, it’s estimated as many as one in ten people have chlamydia – so if you work in a office of 30 people, any three of them could be infected right now…

    Read more in our June issue, on sale now. "


    It's a big fucking deal, man.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well, it's not "life threatening" - but it can affect fertility.

    Personally, i'd tell the guy anyway. He needs treating by the sounds of it!!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Id tell him! I mean i know its betraying your friend, but tell her you told him for the best, she cant keep something like that to herself :no:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    maybe don't tell him out right... bring up conversation about STI tests, maybe get the idea into his head and see if he would go just for a random check up... if that fails, persuade your friend to tell him, show her how serious it could be and ask if she wants other girls to be put in the same situation blah blah blah...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I got chlamydia from my boyfriend at the time, he convinced me he wasn't cheating on me so stupidly I didn't use protection with him and he was cheating on me and gave it to me. Then we split up a few days before I went to get a test because I was getting symptoms like bad stomach cramps, being sick, lots of discharge and they told me I had it and I asked them to ring him to tell him he should get tested and they did that without mentioning any names, so maybe you should get the girl to get someone to do that for her.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you should tell the girl to get her ex to get tested, so therefore not breaking her trust....
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    how about encouraging her to send an anonymous letter? I think you may be able to get the clinic where she was tested to send a letter out in confidence.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Personally I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who endangered others in such a way. She should tell him. If she cares about him or ever did then she would.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd persuade her to tell him. I wouldn't tell him myself though, it's not fair on your friend, he might end up telling his mates and then word could get round that she has it. That wouldn't be very nice!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Simlple soloution, tell her firmly but gently and tactfully that u will tell him if she wont. Explain to her that if it was the other way round, she would want to know. I think she will come round to that :yes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ok... I ended up telling him.

    I tried so hard to make her tell him but she just didn't see why she should tell him or any of her ex's.

    He would know straight away anyway that it would be her that infected him (if he's got it) because he was a virgin before he slept with her and I don't think he's been with anyone else since. He said he wouldn't tell her that I told him or even that he knows. He understands the importance of contacting her ex's since he is a medical student. However he told me that he's sure he hasn't got it as they always used condoms together.

    I really quite annoyed with my friend tho (the girl) as whilst I don't know any of her other ex's she could contact them if she wanted to. She said that the clinic had offered to phone them but she had said no incase any of them could work out it was her who was infected. I offered to phone them too but she just said that she doesn't see why it's up to her to tell them as one of them must of infected her in the first place. I know she's being really selfish and I've tried talking to her but I don't know what else I can do.
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