If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Best mate going out with ex
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Well, my best mate is going out with my ex. This, I don't have a problem with directly because I'm over her (it was my ex from about a year ago) and like, aren't bothered in that respect. But I am bothered in the respect that I think she's so possesive of him, I can't remember the last time I had a conversation with him. The only time he talks to me is when she's not there - and she's there all the time. They never include me in the conversation and I feel completely alienated. I have begun hanging around with other people who are really cool but this ex has a thing anti-me (her nick name for me is nasty bastard, though I was never nasty to her. Not once) and has started saying how all these people are bitches or if I'm around she'll say "I can't say what I think of them because certain people (me) will be annoyed".
Hell yes I'm annoyed. Anyway, why did god put girls like this on the planet? I don't mind if she goes out with my friend, just as long as she realises she doesn't own him. Currently, there is a big split developing between all of my friends - with some of them agreeing with me and saying she is possesive, and some of them not and saying that they don't know what I'm talking about even though she's attatched to him 24/7. I know some of the time yes, but to the extent that I never get to speak to him? In lessons I sit there like a dumbass with noone to talk to because she's come over to sit next to him (on the other side) and they're rabbiting away.
Anyway, that was 1/2 rant - I just don't know why one girl can disturb me so much! I said to someone the other day "i dont get to talk to [best friends name] anymore" and she looked up from across the room and gave me this dirty smile! My mum says she likes having the power and she was like it with me as well - as we only hung out when it was good for her.
Hell yes I'm annoyed. Anyway, why did god put girls like this on the planet? I don't mind if she goes out with my friend, just as long as she realises she doesn't own him. Currently, there is a big split developing between all of my friends - with some of them agreeing with me and saying she is possesive, and some of them not and saying that they don't know what I'm talking about even though she's attatched to him 24/7. I know some of the time yes, but to the extent that I never get to speak to him? In lessons I sit there like a dumbass with noone to talk to because she's come over to sit next to him (on the other side) and they're rabbiting away.
Anyway, that was 1/2 rant - I just don't know why one girl can disturb me so much! I said to someone the other day "i dont get to talk to [best friends name] anymore" and she looked up from across the room and gave me this dirty smile! My mum says she likes having the power and she was like it with me as well - as we only hung out when it was good for her.
0
Comments
BOY do i know how you feel.... except the other way round, with my best mate being a girl and going out with.... well, not an ex, but a complete git of an individual
i've selectively deleted those bits that don't apply to me.... which isn't much, so you get an idea how similar my situation is
i remember days when me and her used to be able to spend time together practically all the time.... now i doubt if i've had 5 minutes of private one-to-one face-to-face conversation with her all month
she is always round his house, or he's always round her house, or they're doing something together. i joke about them being like siamese twins, but at heart it saddens me to thing me and her have been separated like this
i wouldn't mind if i had time to just talk to her when it was just me, but he's there ALL THE TIME like a bad smell....
and he annoys me so much, he treats me with such disdain and she just laughs at it.... if anyone else treated me the way he did she'd slap them, i've seen it happen... but with him 'hes just playing, he likes you really'
i really don't like him AT ALL and she knows this, but i do not have a problem with the relationship per se, as long as she's happy. what i do object to is a friendship being sacrificed for the sake of a relationship what will be over by september anyway
so you're not in the boat alone, fortunately (or unfortunately for the both of us depending on how you look at it)
Anyway he'll come to his senses and realise that this girl is pulling him away from his friends. It'll be too late, mind you. Oh well. (one of the things that fucking sickens me the most is her telling me how to treat him when I've known him tonnes longer than her, grrrr)
my god, i thought i was the only fella in the world who did that with guys....
nope, its a joke thing we have from ages ago. in yrs 8+9 i think everyone was really homophobic so I decided to tease my mates about it and then it just developed. Now he's happy and would just pretend to scream or something but since this girlfriend he goes all serious and she tells you off. But she's not his property!
Gah. There is no solution!
i'd slap her personally....
if only that approach would work...
i actually tried something with my friend today, i basically asked her how well we know each other, and how good friends we are, in her opinion.... and she's basically been texting me and chatting to me all evening, and arranging to do loadsa stuff... which makes me wonder whether
a) i've made her think about the fact she's not giving possibly her closest mate enough attention
b) she's actually trying to hit on me cos she's realised how much she loves me.... ooh, i wish.... lol
c) her boyfriend is being a cock and she's basically talking cos she doesn't wanna talk to him
any thoughts on that one?
and if it's the first one, maybe you could try it, although it might not work too well with a guy, i dunno....
He's my mate!!!
Possibly because I don't think very much of my ex, so don't talk to her much and she doesn't speak to me much. This results in me being left out of conversations; though I'm sure bf and gf would prefer to have private conversations anyway. I'm kind of dealing with it in that I'm hanging out with different people now.
yeh, i understand that..but it's for him to find out what she's like or whatever.
'sfunny you mention it, because he knows her from when I went out with her. He knows her just as well as I do I suppose but then again I don't know. After exams I'll have moved though and like, that's the end of that.
I would invite him over but currently I don't have much time so it's only at school and such - the problem being there that she's glued to him.
I'm going out with him tomorrow but she's going to be there and god it's awful because you don't get to talk to him at all!
one of my best mates started going out with this lad i had a thing for about 2 years for. i'd seen him a few times and he'd liked me too but then well, he didn't treat me very nice. thing is, when she started going out with him, i was pretty gutted cos i still had a thing for him. but there was nothing i could do about them, i wouldnt want to. she had to learn for herself. your mate might even be happy.
yeh he is which im glad for. I aint though cos im going away soon and like, I feel like I've lost my best mate to her. Surely you can see where I'm coming from? Imagine trying to go up to your best friend and talk to them and their boyfriend cutting in the middle of the conversation with little 'jokey' insults at you and making little remarks. It's worst of all when I want to have a serious conversation with him she won't go away!!