Interviewing Potential Housemates

Here are my mate Pete's ideas for questions for people wanting to fill the one-person space we have in our flat next year:

1) You come home to find me in the living room dancing around a burning sofa? do you
A) Stop me and tackle the blaze
Call the fire brigade
C) Join me in my victory dance over the conquest of the insulant soft furnishing

2) You Come accross a hamster that has fallen from his cage? Do you
A) Return the hamster to its cage
Engage the hamster in a discussion on the possible sociological reasons for his fall from the cage
C) Napalm the hamster and move into his cage

3) My Mother comes to visit? Do you
A) Foolishly engage her in conversation
Foolishly engage her in mortal combat
C) Wisly run and hide

4) The gates of hell have opened in our fridge? Do you
A) Don your religious armour and smite the hell legions and close the garts of hell saving the earth
Rejoyious and sell your soul to the first demon to appear though the gate
C) Notice the milks gone off

5) You've just killed my favorite aunt? Do you
A) Confess to the crime and hand yourself over to the police
Reverse just to be sure
C) Replace her with a tall man with a mustash and hope i don't notice

anyone here who wouldnt run away as soon as possible after a crazy guy asks them stuff about gerbil psychology?