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Everything he does....
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Ive just found after two and a half years that eveything my boyfreind does is never good enough for me. He cant seem to please me whatever he does.
I trually believe that there is someone out there for everyone and im just afraid that if he's 'the one' for me then i dont want to lose him and never be able to find another partner like him, because he does have some good qualities that i might not find in another person.
I read too much into the sayings such as 'dont wait for the one you can live with,but wait for the one you cant live without', but if we all listened to these, wouldnt we all be living on our own?
Maybe im being too picky and looking for this 'perfect' someone that probably doesnt exist!
I trually believe that there is someone out there for everyone and im just afraid that if he's 'the one' for me then i dont want to lose him and never be able to find another partner like him, because he does have some good qualities that i might not find in another person.
I read too much into the sayings such as 'dont wait for the one you can live with,but wait for the one you cant live without', but if we all listened to these, wouldnt we all be living on our own?
Maybe im being too picky and looking for this 'perfect' someone that probably doesnt exist!
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Comments
But, if you're the one who is now feeling unsatisfied even though he is putting in just as much effort, then you probably need to look at what it is that is missing in the relationship. Is there something that he could do to make you feel more satisfied (if so, you need to tell him that). But, if after looking at it you can't think of a single way that he could make you happy then I would think about moving on. It would be hard, but some time apart could show you that he's the one that you can't live without but it's also possible that it will just show you that there is something better out there for you. Good luck though!
Id love to feel that i had the strength to move on from him, but at the moment i am so dependant on him being around, that i couldnt bare him not being there anymore. Sad but true
But if you don't fancy him, and don't think that you can work the problems out, then perhaps you should consider leaving the relationship. If you don't love him anymore then there is no point in being with him; all it is is a recipe for disaster.
But rather than talking to us about it you should be talking, openly and honestly, to him about it.
1. if you are having doubts talk with him about it
2. you can easily find someone else, just remember being unhappy when your with someone you dont want to be with hurts the other person more in the long run.
also go with your heart not your head, your heart always gets you there in the end.
I would advise that you take a break from it and tell him that the reason is that you don't feel like he's willing to put enough effort into the relationship. Chances are that he'll realize soon enough how important you are to him and be more willing to invest the time into the relationship. By saying this I'm not trying to tell you to play games - the relationship as it is now is not working for you and by taking a break you can have some time to decide whether or not you can handle being without him.
Thanks again for your replies xxx
Not true!! Taking a break isn't always the option. Spending less time with him and not expecting him to BE your social life would be a better start. When he's spending (Too much) time with his friends, what are you doing? Do you still go out and see your friends? Do you meet new people, or are you always arranging stuff around him and hoping he'll come though?
You can't expect him to be there ALL the time, you should want time to yourself aswell. This IMO should be the way a relationship is worked, seeing each other 24/7 only makes it crap and would bore the hell out of most people, space is a much needed thing in a relationship.
I obviously don't know the full situation so I could be getting it all wrong but to expect a partner to be around all the time is asking for disaster as i have experienced and i personally won't let it happen to me again.
Next time you feel yourself wanting to be as helpful as this, go off and read a book or something.
As for being picky....i aint askin him to spend 24/7 with me, i just want to spend time doing things alone with him like we USED to. Maybe things have changed and im finding it hard to adapt to it.
I do want to be in this relationship, i just feel that hes trying to cool things off when we used to be so serious. He keeps confusing me though, one minute hes acting as if he cares so much for me and then acting the complete opposite.
I do try and see my freinds when he goes off and does stuff with his mates but all of his mates are single and mine are all attached, so its not as easy for me to see my freinds as it is for him.
I dont know what the outcome of this is going to be!
I'm entitled to my own opinion, just as much as you are.
After thinking my boyfriend (at the time, who is now my ex) was the best I could do at the time. I didnt think I would ever find the "perfect" guy for me. If you have doubts right now, that he isnt "the one," you need to move on. You said he isnt good enough for you, so what are you waiting around for?? if it took you two years to figure out that he isnt worth it, dont waste anymore of your time. I know you might not be in the same situation but I settled when I shouldnt have. After settling for the wrong guy, he beat me constantly when I was pregnant with his baby because I was planning to place her for adoption. He held me at gun point 3 times (he was a real psycho).I wish I would have gone with my instinct and left when I had the chance.
the point im trying to make is.......
IF YOU EVEN HAVE THE SLIGHTEST DOUBT, THE TINIEST ONE AT ALL, DO NOT SETTLE!!!
i went round my boyfs house last nite and he was just ignoring me and being really moody so i told him that i was sick of being the only one trying to make an effort in this relationship. I told him how i felt and walked out. A couple of hours later,he rang me to meet him so we could talk. I went, we chatted for about half an hour and surprise surprise guess who wanted pickin up! He had to go n get his mates, so we didnt have chance to speak properly anymore and i left him not knowing what we are doing. Today ive text him telling to have a think about what he wants, but it seems obvious it isnt me!
Well done for taking the advice.I was just reading through the thread and all you were scared of really was breaking the routine.I know how you feel.You care about him and you want things to work and thats why you didn't want to break off with him but now you have spoke to him let him do the thinking and talking whilst you find your independence again.You will find someone.There are so many people out there with different characters.But don't go out looking.It will hppen when you least expect it.It isn't a cliche.It is the truth.