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pissed off....

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Ever since I left college seven years ago, people always say that I 'think I'm too hard' or some such. It's hurtful because I don't try to 'act' in any forced way; I try to be me.

To be frank I think it stems from when I was much younger. When I was about seven or eight I wasn't as strong as the other kids, so they thought I was lesser. But why should events in my earlier youth have any relevance now?? Am I wrong in thinking that?? For some reason they believe that I cannot change and MUST be the same person as I was then, which seems illogical.

In college, one day everybody started saying I was being the 'hardman' when I wasn't conciously acting in any 'put on' way! To reiterate, this hurt.

OK you can so I should ignore them, which I do to a good extent, but why can't they ignore me?? Why don't THEY realise that people DO change? How exactly are they being harmed?? Because I violate their 'ethics' of 'hardness'?? I used to believe that when I was younger, but I've outgrown it. If you're stronger, so what, that doesn't mean you have more rights than others.

All I ask is for a chance to live my life in peace and not be hassled because of the way I was in the past!

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Maybe things from your past make you what you are today ?

    so really underneath you are a big softie but dont let that part show. Maybe you are trying to be something that your not......I dunno really.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Who is to say what 'I am'??

    Only I know myself. And since I control my life, who is to say how I can live that life???

    I honestly don't believe I am in the wrong here. People DO change over time and times change; that cannot really be denied.

    OK the past does shape you, but that doesn't mean you have to live in it constantly. It's because of 'the past' why I have few friends now.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No, you misunderstand me, I think.

    You have set certain barriers, you dont let people see the real you. People see the 'hard' you, they dont see the 'real' you.
    If that makes sense ?
    They only see what they are looking for, they dont see you thinking about things, they dont see that things upset you all they see is the 'hard' faced person that copes with what life throws at them.

    Bit like me really, the 'hard' faced cow that nothing bothers.

    Drop them barriers and let people see you do have feelings !!!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's not about expressing feelings.

    It's just that it is hurtful for complete strangers to say 'look at him he thinks he's hard' as I walk by. These people don't know me, yet for some reason they believe they have some 'right' to harm me. If they don't know me then my actions should have no relevance to them, provided I don't harm them of course. What I want to know is why does no one say they have no right to do this??

    I used to post here under another username and the people here (especially in the politics forum) were rightfully upset at my conduct there. I used to act that way because it was a release from real life. Related to the above, I feel that I'm not being extended any sense of decency or courtesy, without knowing why I should be denied such things. I felt why I should appear courteous and respectful when people were not reciprocating???
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by the sole liber

    I used to post here under another username and the people here (especially in the politics forum) were rightfully upset at my conduct there.

    So you are still not showing your true self, your using a different user name. Would it not take a bigger person to hold their hands up to what they did in the past ? Ive done that myself on many occasions, I dont find it hard to say 'I was wrong, I was a prat' or whatever. There are a few posters here who have changed, they used to get flamed etc but they held their hands up to what they did and people find it easier to say give the lad a break or whatever.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know I was a prat.

    And I'm explaining why. Isn't that 'holding your hands up'?? I'm taking responsibility by saying I was wrong for what I did!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by the sole liber
    I know I was a prat.

    And I'm explaining why. Isn't that 'holding your hands up'?? I'm taking responsibility by saying I was wrong for what I did!

    Yes but you were talking about the politics forum............was it also in this forum ? Some people dont venture out of the politic forum so they wouldnt see this convo.

    and yes it is holding your hands up.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    oh and just for the record, people can and do change !!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by BeckyBoo
    Yes but you were talking about the politics forum............was it also in this forum ? Some people dont venture out of the politic forum so they wouldnt see this convo.

    and yes it is holding your hands up.

    No I wound people up in the politics forum.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by the sole liber
    No I wound people up in the politics forum.

    Exactly so all they remember is the 'old' you.

    As ive said a lot of us have been stupid, over aggressive or whatever here, people who come out on top are the ones who can aqnowledge (sp) they were in the wrong. At the end of the day we are all human and make mistakes, long as we learn by them thats the best thing.
    Hopefully you have changed and people will see that and at least give you credit where its due.
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