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Too nervous?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Me and my boyfriend have been together a few weeks but we've been friends (and pretty much crazy about one another) for over a year now. I really like him and want to take it a step further.
Thing is, when we tried, he got too nervous and had to stop. Since then we've spent the night together a few times but never done anything past foreplay (which is great and I'm not complaining as such) but it does work one up a bit, if you get me.... Anyways, now I daren't initiate actual sex incase he's still too nervous and I think he's too embarrassed to bring up the issue now.
I knew him when he was with his last girlfriend and they were at it like rabbits, so it's not a lack of experience issue.
How can I help him be more comfortable with me? I really want this to work so I don't want to push him into anything if he's not ready but it's driving me mad because I've liked him for so long! And its giving me all these paranoid 'what if he doesn't like me' thoughts.
Any help would be muchos appricaited.
xxxx

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Talk to him
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well try not to pressurise him and just give it some time. i understand it's probably quite frustrating but im sure it is for him too. he obviously thinks a lot of you and that's why he's so nervous. maybe he's scared he's not going to be good enough or something. just give him encouragement during foreplay etc to let him know you are enjoying it and he's good at whatever he's doing and that should give him the confidence boost to take things further.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    let him know that you enjoy what he does when you're together, and let him know that you dont expect full on sex, you're happy with the great foreplay. talk to him, and it will boost his confidence.i reckon he's so worried, because you mean alot to him, so he just doesn't wana let you down :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by spongebobsgirl
    let him know that you enjoy what he does when you're together, and let him know that you dont expect full on sex, you're happy with the great foreplay. talk to him, and it will boost his confidence.i reckon he's so worried, because you mean alot to him, so he just doesn't wana let you down :)
    wow, you just basically re-worded what i said :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Some people can be a bag of nerves when with a new partner for the first time. Ok, you've done plenty of foreplay, but there's still the nerves of full blown intercourse. If he seems nervous about taking it further, then maybe it's time for you to push him further. Talk about it with him first though, it might because of some sort of hang up.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't stress over it. You'll get there.

    If he's nervous but you both trust each other muchly then you could try blindfolding him once you're in bed. It works.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I stayed round at his and it was another almost but....no incident. The longer this goes on the more stressed I'm gettign about it :( I'm putting too much pressure on this, its no big deal right?
    Feels like the first time all over again!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Zella
    Talk to him

    Feck that... give him a BJ and swallow!
  • ClaireBearClaireBear Deactivated Posts: 467 Listening Ear
    Hiya,
    This article from TheSite may help some.

    CB
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