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A bit of advice plz

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
I'll get straight to the point.

I have fancied the same girl for so long now ( you wouldnt believe how long actually!) Forgetting whats happened in between the beginning and right now ok. I still really like her i cant ephasise that enough but i know deep down shes not interested yet i cant stop my feelings for her, i want my feelings to stop because its hurting me, it hurts knowing shes not interested, but she smiles at me and occasionally says hello, she looks across from her shop sometimes making it look like shes not looking but she is!.. It hurts because feeling unwated is utter crap... I feel like i'll never find someone to love and whom would love me. I cant get her out of my head, i made the decision to try and forget about her but i went into work yesterday and low and behold there she is, with the rare glance over as usual. I cant stand this its killing me inside, No one has any idea, part of me knows i have to forget about her, another part of me, well read this post, its what im going on about i just cant get her out of my head, and to be honest i dont want to, sorry but i dont. Before i go on forever please can someone give me advice on hwo to go about this ?? Has anyone else ever been in this position at all. Ive yet to find someone who understands how i feel or what i mean.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know so completely what you're going through. There's a friend of mine - the moment we met there were sparks :) we got on so well. I always fancied her - and I never could get over her. The only remedy is to try and distract yourself from them and hope you can forget. Just this morning I found an old picture of my friend and was missing her again. But it's ok because by tonight hopefully I'll have forgotten.

    I think there's some people you just cant get over!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Been there, and am there to a certain extent at the moment too, Mr Moo. :(
    I can sympathise to a point. I remember you posting about that girl before. I can't remember if you've asked her out already or not? If not, then you should do. If you have, and she's still happy to talk with you then there may be an outside chance - but don't get your hopes up.
    Anyway, you know you've got to try to stop thinking about her, and keeping your eyes open for other opportunities.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yes. You can now say you know of someone who knows what you're going through. (Two including Shyboy and Wobble!) Firstly, I'd like to tell you that you will never totally get over her. For me it's been two years and I still think of her and get that deep emotional feeling and I don't think it will ever go. It's called first love. But geezer, you move on. You have to. At present I have a girlfriend and I love her. She's cool. But if something happens to remind me of the other girl, I still kind of wander off into dream world and think what it would've been like! And to totally set the scene for you I still find it difficult to accept that it was my failings that cost me a chance with this girl. She gave me three chances to pull her on seperate occasions but I was so low on self-confidence and uncomfortable around girls back then that I missed the boat each time. That's the kicker. What a loser eh? Heh! Anyway this may sound harsh so brace yourself for some tough love. This is what you need to do - BE A MAN. Stop pining over some girl and feeling sorry for yourself and how no-one loves you. Slap yourself, bang your head against a wall, just stop being such a wimp. Yeah I know she's special, yeah I know when you think of you two together it makes you the happiest guy in the world and you don't want to lose that feeling. GET OVER IT. It's not going to happen. If you do need something to cling to (and I did, I'll admit) then cling to the hope that one day, years from now, you'll meet her again, and this time you'll be confident, know when she's screaming "pull me!", and actually be able to do something about it! (How to get this confidence and knowledge? Date other girls!) Once you take action to move on, you'll find your feelings for her and constant need to think about her will fade. Don't expect them to ever totally disappear though. Did I mention stop being such a pussy? Good. Now go get 'em champ! :thumb:

    P.s. Writing this reply has brought back some of those old memories. Bah!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thats some good advice... its good to hear advice from someone who's been there. I hope i can put it into action because so far, in all honesty i havent. I really dont know if she has sent out the "pull me!" signals. Shes smiled at me, she looks over a lot (and for all i know it could be looking for someone else whom i work with!) Although there was that one time last month where she said hello to me whilst i was walking with my head down ( i had to look up to see who it was, it was her ) Man theres been so many things but it confuses me, i never know it shes not interested or what. I have just assumed shes not intereted from what ive been told, what ive seen etc. Its good advice you've given there, i'll certainly keep it in mind. The one doubt i have is what if (yeh i know another what if!) she is actually trying to get my attention and im not seeing it, You said yourself you missed a few chances because of low confidence, well i spose im the same really, i lose all confidence when it comes to talking with someone i fancy.
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