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upset

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
relationships suck
i hvent seen my bf for like a month, and today i finally saw him. i took him out shopping to buy him a birthday present (because otherwise i would get him something he probably wont like). but every shop i suggested he kept going 'oh its a townie shop there wont be anything in there for me'. at first it was funny but then when it became every shop it just started to hurt my feelings, especially as they weren't 'townie shops' and i was actually trying hard to find him sumthing he liked. then when he realised i was offended at his stupid comments he was like 'oh you know i didnt mean it'.

then, once we'd finished shopping, he was supposed to come back to my house to hang out. but about half an hour before we left he goes 'oh i dont think i can come to urs'. i obviously was like why and he said he had to 'babysit' cuz his mum and dad were going out (btw his sister is 13!) and so him and his mate who lives near him are looking after their bros and sis. and so i was like 'well why didnt u tell me before, because you must have known they were going to go out' and he was just like 'oh i didnt know'. it just got me sooooooo mad/angry/upset, because i hadnt seen him for ages, when i finally did for 2 hours he just bitched and then he ditched me! if he had told me earlier in the morning that he cudnt go to my house i wudnt have minded so much, but he didnt, so when i came home all my family were asking questions as to where he was-rubbing salt in the wound!

plz someone tell me im not being unreasonable because im upset. i feel like im always the one being hurt in the relationship. god it sucks.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Get rid of him, he is so not worth all the hassle and you could so find someone much better.

    plenty more fish in the sea as people always say.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ppl tell me to do that...but its not like not seeing him is always his fault (his rents make him see family a lot of the time so i cant see him) its just that sometimes hes just sooooooo inconsiderate and doesnt realise it =(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Still I think you should get rid of him because since you don't see each other much he should make more of an effort when he does see you. Honestly I think you could do soo much better.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    but i love him =( maybe i shud just tell him hes being inconsiderate?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Try talking to him about how you feel although some guys get scared by that kind of stuff but honestly if things don't change just ditch him.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Try and talk to him, but i think the best thing would be to get rid of him, it isnt fair what he's doing to you. x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Try talking to him, and letting him know how its making you feel and see if you can work things out...
    If u cant work things on, then forget him n move on. Have u had another bf to compare how u feel about him with? cos sometimes when u think ur in love, u really arent. but u never see that at the time.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    why hadn't you seen him for a month?
    he sounds like a dick tbh and making excuses to bot be with you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: upset
    Originally posted by hybrid
    he said he had to 'babysit' cuz his mum and dad were going out (btw his sister is 13!)
    And rightly so - a 13 year old needs babysitting.

    But the guy sounds like a knob - leave him, it's not worth the hassle.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Have you ever considered that the fault may lay in part with you?

    Theres something to be said for having a bit of independence and not being clingy. If everytime you see him (Even if it's only once a month) you get moody and posessive, or expect him to be your social life and not be himself, then its no wonder he makes excuses not to stay around!!

    Why not try having a good time and having a sunny outlook next time you see him, then perhaps he'll want to stick around!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by byny
    Have you ever considered that the fault may lay in part with you?

    Theres something to be said for having a bit of independence and not being clingy. If everytime you see him (Even if it's only once a month) you get moody and posessive, or expect him to be your social life and not be himself, then its no wonder he makes excuses not to stay around!!

    Why not try having a good time and having a sunny outlook next time you see him, then perhaps he'll want to stick around!

    hold up! at what point did i come across clingy? because i wanted to see him for the first time in 4 weeks? because i wanted to buy him a birthday pressie? well EXCUSE ME for trying to care. At what point did i become moody and possessive? I'm not trying to own him, he is his own person! all i asked was to take him out and then for him to come back to my house! i never asked him not to be himself- you need to re read my post and understand the faults in your own one.

    moving on to the rest of the people who replied, thanx. firstly Andy W, the babysitting thing is true, his rents are those gay types who give him and his sis no independance whatsoever, and he does actually have to babysit her-even during the day. pathetically really but their that type of people.

    lipsy-i hadnt seen him in a month cuz we both go different schools, then i've been away at weekends or hes been away or we've had coursework deadlines. legitimate reasons, and this weekend has been the only free one we've had so its the first oppurtunity we've had to see eachother.

    and finally, Cute_Baby_Bear, nope ive never had anyone to compare my feelings towards him against. i duno when it first started out with him it was all so perfect, now its all just pearshaped =(

    thnx ppl x

    ps-sorry about my grammar and spelling-im from the text message generation!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I just don't want to say that you don't sound clingy in what you have said in your posts.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Apologies...re-reading your post I can see you aren't clingy -

    perhaps he's just a bit of a dick and you need to explain to him why it upsets you!?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It really doesn't sound as if he's worth all your worrying, not only because of the way he behaved with you when shopping, which although not completely nasty was still not very sensitive, but also because if you only see him very rarely then surely you can't be too happy about it? I know it gets hard when you don't see your boyfriend that often - I'm at uni in Cambridge and my boyfriend's in Durham - but usually with us when we see each other again we're both really happy, and it doesn't sound like that's the case with you.

    Anyway, you should definitely talk to him and explain how you feel. But take care not to just moan at him; approach it rationally and explain how you really like to see him, and you hoped to find him something he'd really like as a present, but you felt as if he wasn't interested and you were upset that he didn't tell you he couldn't come round.

    Alternatively, do it the subtle way and play it cool for a while - don't be ultra-enthusiastic about making a date to see him next time, and don't commit to going back to his house afterwards. He'll soon get the message, or if not he'll ask you what the problem is and you can explain that's how you feel when he does it to you!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    soz byny if my previous post was a bit bitchy :-s

    i will definately talk to him, well i say talk,ill probably get emotional or angry :-s i just dont appreciate him being so bloody inconsiderate and if he doesn't change maybe then its best to break up (as much as that would hurt) :-(

    are all boys as thick and insensitive as him??????:confused:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by hybrid


    are all boys as thick and insensitive as him??????:confused:
    Most men are pretty insensitive - they don't get subtle hints and they say what they mean. It's not that they don't mean well, but they're not as good as social niceities as us girls. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by perfect***day
    Most men are pretty insensitive - they don't get subtle hints and they say what they mean. It's not that they don't mean well, but they're not as good as social niceities as us girls. :)

    Amen, sister.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lol you would think they could get stuff right, seeing as they have things so much easier than girls! *sighs* :chin:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by hybrid
    lol you would think they could get stuff right, seeing as they have things so much easier than girls! *sighs* :chin:

    yup, but we like to lounge in the luxury of our lives. girls have to make an effort to just survive because they are so complicated, and thus they just get carried away with making effort.

    guys on the other hand, are used to being lazy. simple as eh?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Urgh

    I have to say that what girls tend to think are "subtle hints" are such a waste of time?!?!!!

    It would be so much easier if you came straight out and said things instead of getting all upset if we don't get the "subtle hint" that what you wanted for your birthday was a mongolian worm farm rather than the £1000 diamond ring you got...

    Sheesh! :rolleyes:

    ;)

    True though, in general men are much simpler creatures! :cool:

    Be honest though: Would you rather you had your girly mates saying "Oooooooooooh - that dress looks lovely" on you when it plainly does not... or somebody being honest and telling you that it looks like you got hit by a bad-fashion parade on a bad day?!?!? :eek2:

    I know which I prefer.

    :D
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