If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
upset
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
relationships suck
i hvent seen my bf for like a month, and today i finally saw him. i took him out shopping to buy him a birthday present (because otherwise i would get him something he probably wont like). but every shop i suggested he kept going 'oh its a townie shop there wont be anything in there for me'. at first it was funny but then when it became every shop it just started to hurt my feelings, especially as they weren't 'townie shops' and i was actually trying hard to find him sumthing he liked. then when he realised i was offended at his stupid comments he was like 'oh you know i didnt mean it'.
then, once we'd finished shopping, he was supposed to come back to my house to hang out. but about half an hour before we left he goes 'oh i dont think i can come to urs'. i obviously was like why and he said he had to 'babysit' cuz his mum and dad were going out (btw his sister is 13!) and so him and his mate who lives near him are looking after their bros and sis. and so i was like 'well why didnt u tell me before, because you must have known they were going to go out' and he was just like 'oh i didnt know'. it just got me sooooooo mad/angry/upset, because i hadnt seen him for ages, when i finally did for 2 hours he just bitched and then he ditched me! if he had told me earlier in the morning that he cudnt go to my house i wudnt have minded so much, but he didnt, so when i came home all my family were asking questions as to where he was-rubbing salt in the wound!
plz someone tell me im not being unreasonable because im upset. i feel like im always the one being hurt in the relationship. god it sucks.
i hvent seen my bf for like a month, and today i finally saw him. i took him out shopping to buy him a birthday present (because otherwise i would get him something he probably wont like). but every shop i suggested he kept going 'oh its a townie shop there wont be anything in there for me'. at first it was funny but then when it became every shop it just started to hurt my feelings, especially as they weren't 'townie shops' and i was actually trying hard to find him sumthing he liked. then when he realised i was offended at his stupid comments he was like 'oh you know i didnt mean it'.
then, once we'd finished shopping, he was supposed to come back to my house to hang out. but about half an hour before we left he goes 'oh i dont think i can come to urs'. i obviously was like why and he said he had to 'babysit' cuz his mum and dad were going out (btw his sister is 13!) and so him and his mate who lives near him are looking after their bros and sis. and so i was like 'well why didnt u tell me before, because you must have known they were going to go out' and he was just like 'oh i didnt know'. it just got me sooooooo mad/angry/upset, because i hadnt seen him for ages, when i finally did for 2 hours he just bitched and then he ditched me! if he had told me earlier in the morning that he cudnt go to my house i wudnt have minded so much, but he didnt, so when i came home all my family were asking questions as to where he was-rubbing salt in the wound!
plz someone tell me im not being unreasonable because im upset. i feel like im always the one being hurt in the relationship. god it sucks.
0
Comments
plenty more fish in the sea as people always say.
If u cant work things on, then forget him n move on. Have u had another bf to compare how u feel about him with? cos sometimes when u think ur in love, u really arent. but u never see that at the time.
he sounds like a dick tbh and making excuses to bot be with you.
And rightly so - a 13 year old needs babysitting.
But the guy sounds like a knob - leave him, it's not worth the hassle.
Theres something to be said for having a bit of independence and not being clingy. If everytime you see him (Even if it's only once a month) you get moody and posessive, or expect him to be your social life and not be himself, then its no wonder he makes excuses not to stay around!!
Why not try having a good time and having a sunny outlook next time you see him, then perhaps he'll want to stick around!
hold up! at what point did i come across clingy? because i wanted to see him for the first time in 4 weeks? because i wanted to buy him a birthday pressie? well EXCUSE ME for trying to care. At what point did i become moody and possessive? I'm not trying to own him, he is his own person! all i asked was to take him out and then for him to come back to my house! i never asked him not to be himself- you need to re read my post and understand the faults in your own one.
moving on to the rest of the people who replied, thanx. firstly Andy W, the babysitting thing is true, his rents are those gay types who give him and his sis no independance whatsoever, and he does actually have to babysit her-even during the day. pathetically really but their that type of people.
lipsy-i hadnt seen him in a month cuz we both go different schools, then i've been away at weekends or hes been away or we've had coursework deadlines. legitimate reasons, and this weekend has been the only free one we've had so its the first oppurtunity we've had to see eachother.
and finally, Cute_Baby_Bear, nope ive never had anyone to compare my feelings towards him against. i duno when it first started out with him it was all so perfect, now its all just pearshaped =(
thnx ppl x
ps-sorry about my grammar and spelling-im from the text message generation!
perhaps he's just a bit of a dick and you need to explain to him why it upsets you!?
Anyway, you should definitely talk to him and explain how you feel. But take care not to just moan at him; approach it rationally and explain how you really like to see him, and you hoped to find him something he'd really like as a present, but you felt as if he wasn't interested and you were upset that he didn't tell you he couldn't come round.
Alternatively, do it the subtle way and play it cool for a while - don't be ultra-enthusiastic about making a date to see him next time, and don't commit to going back to his house afterwards. He'll soon get the message, or if not he'll ask you what the problem is and you can explain that's how you feel when he does it to you!
i will definately talk to him, well i say talk,ill probably get emotional or angry :-s i just dont appreciate him being so bloody inconsiderate and if he doesn't change maybe then its best to break up (as much as that would hurt) :-(
are all boys as thick and insensitive as him??????
Amen, sister.
yup, but we like to lounge in the luxury of our lives. girls have to make an effort to just survive because they are so complicated, and thus they just get carried away with making effort.
guys on the other hand, are used to being lazy. simple as eh?
I have to say that what girls tend to think are "subtle hints" are such a waste of time?!?!!!
It would be so much easier if you came straight out and said things instead of getting all upset if we don't get the "subtle hint" that what you wanted for your birthday was a mongolian worm farm rather than the £1000 diamond ring you got...
Sheesh! :rolleyes:
True though, in general men are much simpler creatures! :cool:
Be honest though: Would you rather you had your girly mates saying "Oooooooooooh - that dress looks lovely" on you when it plainly does not... or somebody being honest and telling you that it looks like you got hit by a bad-fashion parade on a bad day?!?!? :eek2:
I know which I prefer.