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'I love you.'

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Right, so you're there in a heated moment with your partner (haven't been together that long about 1/2 months) and they look up to you and whisper those words. 'I love you'.

Thing is, I really, really like her and want to stay with her hopefully long-term but the fact is, at the moment, I don't love her. I don't want to lie to her, but then in the moment I can't turn round and go 'look, well I don't technically love you, I just like you'. Somehow think it wouldn't go down too well.

So, what would you do - trying not to ruin the moment and keep them happy without lying to them?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    personally i'd just smile and kiss them.

    don't say it until you mean it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by z0ma

    So, what would you do - trying not to ruin the moment and keep them happy without lying to them?

    I'd probably go with the flow and say I loved them back.

    Not that I'd advise anyone else to do the same :p

    Let's explain. To me, love is something totally abstract and something you can't define. Never really bought into this thing about "you just know when you're in love", because I dunno if it works like that. From what I've experienced, love is just liking someone a lot, for a reasonably long time. Dunno if that's the way of things or whatever, or if it's just this big magic L sensation hasn't hit me yet. It's hard to explain.

    Anyway, just crank up the affection levels I suppose :confused:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Bri-namite
    I'd probably go with the flow and say I loved them back.

    Not that I'd advise anyone else to do the same :p

    Let's explain. To me, love is something totally abstract and something you can't define. Never really bought into this thing about "you just know when you're in love", because I dunno if it works like that. From what I've experienced, love is just liking someone a lot, for a reasonably long time. Dunno if that's the way of things or whatever, or if it's just this big magic L sensation hasn't hit me yet. It's hard to explain.

    Anyway, just crank up the affection levels I suppose :confused:
    completly agree with that, i tend to do the same... though its gets me in trouble more often than not...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No, don't.

    My boyfriend and I went through a (quite amusing in retrospect) phase when we told each other 'I love you' when we'd only been together a month or so - although we had known each other for a while longer. While we both did care about each other then, and probably realised the relationship was going to last a bit longer, it wasn't really love.

    A few months later, we felt that we really were falling in love, but then we lacked the words to say it! We had a very surreal and exhausting conversation about the meaning of love, and in the end decided that it may not have been love before, but it was probably love now, although as Bri-namite pointed out, love is quite an abstract notion and it can't really be quantified.

    But what I'm trying to say is, don't tell her you love her just because she says she loves you. If she asks you or looks worried when you don't reply, just explain in other words how you feel about her. Don't throw the word 'love' around.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    personally i'd just smile and kiss them.

    don't say it until you mean it.
    Exactly what i'd do...urr well what i did do
    and they look up to you and whisper those words. 'I love you'.
    Exactly the same situation with my ex like 6 months ago, we were in the heat of the moment then she just says " Jez..I Love You, Don't ever leave me " and im like urr, my instant reaction was just to say " I won't leave you" then kissed them and carried on with the job lo

    :naughty:

    But if you don't love her then don't tell her that, and try not too bring the subject up until you have those feelings..
    Good Luck :crazyeyes
    Jez
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think she'll appreciate it more if you don't just say it when you don't mean it. If she asks why you don't say 'I love you too' just explain that you really care about her but don't want to throw the L-word around until you're really sure that you mean it. That's what I did with my boyfriend, and it just made it all the more special when I realised I did love him, because we both knew that I meant it when I said it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Bri-namite
    I'd probably go with the flow and say I loved them back.

    Not that I'd advise anyone else to do the same :p

    Let's explain. To me, love is something totally abstract and something you can't define. Never really bought into this thing about "you just know when you're in love", because I dunno if it works like that. From what I've experienced, love is just liking someone a lot, for a reasonably long time. Dunno if that's the way of things or whatever, or if it's just this big magic L sensation hasn't hit me yet. It's hard to explain.

    Anyway, just crank up the affection levels I suppose :confused:

    You'll know when you're in love, believe me. I didn't understand what people meant when they said 'you just know' but you do.
    Saying it without meaning is just plain silly because the other person will think you really do mean it. If you don't love them, don't say it. It will save hurt in the long run but if you really like them, say that. If you want a relationship to go anywhere at all people, be honest!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That love word gets chucked about quite bit in relationships, especially with the young'uns. I'd do what Kaffrin said when you shag.

    If she says she loves you when your not shaggin' (:() I reckon your best of telling her how you feel before you end up saying something you regret. And once you have said the L word and you don't really mean it then your just gonna dig your self a deeper whole until one day you will tell her the truth because you can't stand the fact that she thinks you love her and then you end getting a slap in the face AND a kick in nads. Or if your lucky she might tell your mates you have a small Weiner :(. Not good.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    if you've only been together a month she probably doesn't even love you. more likely that shes in lust. she might feel alot for you but i don't think you can truly love someone unless you know them really well. the word 'love' gets thrown about so much!

    you will know when you're in love..its something quite gradual but its like such an amazing feeling. how sick :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Right, well, I have an issue on this. First of all, I am a bit paranoid, I am always thinking that people would want to hurt me, that they are not really my friends, or that they detest me. I met someone in a forum, she means a lot to me, more than a lot, she helped me live, literaly, thinking of her just sends me to heaven, but I can't believe she actually likes me.
    Anyway, enough with being off topic, I really really like her, but, I don't believe in love. I don't know how to explain it, just saying "I love you" is a bit, well, I don't know, it's just not right for me.

    ...

    I don't know, I have many issues that I need to take care of, and many times I wish she would be with someone that lived there, who could be there when she needed someone.

    Here I go again...:(
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