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'I love you.'
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Right, so you're there in a heated moment with your partner (haven't been together that long about 1/2 months) and they look up to you and whisper those words. 'I love you'.
Thing is, I really, really like her and want to stay with her hopefully long-term but the fact is, at the moment, I don't love her. I don't want to lie to her, but then in the moment I can't turn round and go 'look, well I don't technically love you, I just like you'. Somehow think it wouldn't go down too well.
So, what would you do - trying not to ruin the moment and keep them happy without lying to them?
Thing is, I really, really like her and want to stay with her hopefully long-term but the fact is, at the moment, I don't love her. I don't want to lie to her, but then in the moment I can't turn round and go 'look, well I don't technically love you, I just like you'. Somehow think it wouldn't go down too well.
So, what would you do - trying not to ruin the moment and keep them happy without lying to them?
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Comments
don't say it until you mean it.
I'd probably go with the flow and say I loved them back.
Not that I'd advise anyone else to do the same
Let's explain. To me, love is something totally abstract and something you can't define. Never really bought into this thing about "you just know when you're in love", because I dunno if it works like that. From what I've experienced, love is just liking someone a lot, for a reasonably long time. Dunno if that's the way of things or whatever, or if it's just this big magic L sensation hasn't hit me yet. It's hard to explain.
Anyway, just crank up the affection levels I suppose
My boyfriend and I went through a (quite amusing in retrospect) phase when we told each other 'I love you' when we'd only been together a month or so - although we had known each other for a while longer. While we both did care about each other then, and probably realised the relationship was going to last a bit longer, it wasn't really love.
A few months later, we felt that we really were falling in love, but then we lacked the words to say it! We had a very surreal and exhausting conversation about the meaning of love, and in the end decided that it may not have been love before, but it was probably love now, although as Bri-namite pointed out, love is quite an abstract notion and it can't really be quantified.
But what I'm trying to say is, don't tell her you love her just because she says she loves you. If she asks you or looks worried when you don't reply, just explain in other words how you feel about her. Don't throw the word 'love' around.
But if you don't love her then don't tell her that, and try not too bring the subject up until you have those feelings..
Good Luck :crazyeyes
Jez
You'll know when you're in love, believe me. I didn't understand what people meant when they said 'you just know' but you do.
Saying it without meaning is just plain silly because the other person will think you really do mean it. If you don't love them, don't say it. It will save hurt in the long run but if you really like them, say that. If you want a relationship to go anywhere at all people, be honest!
If she says she loves you when your not shaggin' (:() I reckon your best of telling her how you feel before you end up saying something you regret. And once you have said the L word and you don't really mean it then your just gonna dig your self a deeper whole until one day you will tell her the truth because you can't stand the fact that she thinks you love her and then you end getting a slap in the face AND a kick in nads. Or if your lucky she might tell your mates you have a small Weiner . Not good.
you will know when you're in love..its something quite gradual but its like such an amazing feeling. how sick
Anyway, enough with being off topic, I really really like her, but, I don't believe in love. I don't know how to explain it, just saying "I love you" is a bit, well, I don't know, it's just not right for me.
...
I don't know, I have many issues that I need to take care of, and many times I wish she would be with someone that lived there, who could be there when she needed someone.
Here I go again...:(