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Obese boy might be taken into care

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/6396457.stm

As often in these cases, a tough one. Although it should always be the last resort, I don't oppose children being taken into care if the parents' negiglence is putting them in danger.

Though not many cases are clear cut. I'm not sure that's the case here. If the mother is trying to make the kid change his eating habits (a little too late perhaps, but better than never) at least it's a step in the right direction... If the mother still gave the child what he demanded however it might be a different case...
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Would putting him in care make him better, though? It's highly unlikely, if anything it's likely to make him eat more because of the emotional stress of it all. It's not like dad's raping him every night.

    Perhaps if social services in North Tyneside spent more time helping parents who can't cope rather than scoring political points there wouldn't be this mess. The first thing this boy's mother has heard from any health body has been some rent-a-gob from the Anti-Fatty Commission (or whatever the hell its called) slating her for her abilities and saying she should have her kids taken off her. I'm sure she's well aware that she's made a bit of a pig's ear of it, but what she (and he) needs is support not public vilifcation.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When Connor won't eat anything else, I've got to give him the foods he likes.

    I can't starve him.
    yes you can, get a backbone you daft woman. It's totally her fault and her responsibility, fucking four times what he should be isn't genetic, isn't puppy fat.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    None of us should be allowed to raise children. Immediatedly upon birth they should be given to the state - who can then raise them in exactly the right way. :nervous:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fucking four times his weight. No, his dad isn't raping him, but that's seriously damaging his health. The human heart wasn't designed to carry that much weight.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Give his family decent support rather than putting him into care, it would be a far better plan for all concerned, although would require social services to do something proactive rather than just dump him with a foster carer and be done with it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fiend_85 wrote: »
    Fucking four times his weight. No, his dad isn't raping him, but that's seriously damaging his health. The human heart wasn't designed to carry that much weight.

    Nobody is arguing that the kid is a nice safe healthy weight, and that his parents haven't made an utter balls-up of it.

    But take him into care because of it? Please. He isn't an animal, he won't forget the trauma of it after a week, and he isn't being abused so much that care seems like a better alternative.

    The child needs some serious help, but whoever the rent-a-gob was who suggested care should have his kids taken off him, just for being a pompous cock.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Foster careers aren't necessarily going to do a better job of feeding him either, they aren't miracle workers.

    He and his family need decent support, from social services, from the medical profession, and from his school......

    Bring on the flying pigs.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    IIRC there was a case in the US not long ago where the kid was taken into care. That was a more extreme case though- the kid was morbidly obese and in real danger of dying if something wasn't done right away and the mother kept feeding her sickening amounts of fast food.

    I don't think taking the kid away would help in this case. But like Fiend says the mother is largely to blame here and perhaps needs to take a couple of coaching lessons on parenting.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Totally to blame, he's 8.

    I'm not in favour of taking him into care, but something seriously needs to be done. Maybe you (kermit) should go round and spank her.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's really sad to read of someone's ignorance when they believe that they have no choice but to give their child what they want. What this woman needs is a damn good education with her son on nutrition, healthy living and exercise - and keeping up with it. Giving a boy an apple once, does not a healthy lifestyle make. Given that she's not the epitome of health either, rather than take the boy into care, and use this as another TV opportunity, they could both take responsibility and work through this together.

    The way she has allowed her son to become this is utterly shocking and disgraceful, but taking him away seems like a short-term treating the symptoms rather than addressing the cause.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    go_away wrote: »
    It's really sad to read of someone's ignorance when they believe that they have no choice but to give their child what they want. What this woman needs is a damn good education with her son on nutrition, healthy living and exercise - and keeping up with it. Giving a boy an apple once, does not a healthy lifestyle make. Given that she's not the epitome of health either, rather than take the boy into care, and use this as another TV opportunity, they could both take responsibility and work through this together.

    The way she has allowed her son to become this is utterly shocking and disgraceful, but taking him away seems like a short-term treating the symptoms rather than addressing the cause.

    Absolutely. And I'm sorry, but her arguement of 'oh, he won't eat anything green' is BOLLOCKS. It's really very simple, stop all of the chips etc, remove it from the house and replace it with good quality, nutritious home made food. When he is hungry enough, he'll eat it. And in the meantime, he'll drop a few pounds which can only be a good thing.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My wife is a social worker and she is adamant that, if social services are at the stage of considering taking the child into care, then they will already have tried every conceivable method of solving the problem through working with the family. Care procedings really are a last resort - apart from the damage to the child, it is very expensive to keep a kid in care and placements are fairly limited, priority going (understandably) to abuse victims. Care procedings are what happen when social services have tried everything else and given up!

    As many others have commented, the major reason for failure seems to lie squarely with the mother - there will have been many efforts to educate her, clearly to no avail.

    A final point on this, social workers are under strict data protection guidelines not to speak publically about any case, which is why no-one ever gives the social workers' view in the media and small-minded myths about 'child-snatching social workers' etc are allowed to proliferate.

    A case in point, where my wife works, they took a 6-month old baby into care, after his nursery reported anal injuries and two independent doctors confirmed the child had been raped. His family were up in arms, ran a huge 'Free Baby George' campaign (name changed!) and even got the local press onside - without telling anyone about the medical details,of course, which they were obviously aware of. Social service staff were of course unable to speak publically about why they had removed the child, so anger swelled in the community, culminating in a huge barricade of social services offices and the pelting of social workers (inc my wife who had nothing to do with the case) with fruit and veg. One lady ended up with a broken nose.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    why in care? why not in hospital? or therapy? or something to force a behavioral change? the mother isn't forcing him to eat like that, which would add up to abuse and then may be it would be a different matter.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    She and the boy need some stern intervention. I've no idea what planet she's on, but she's failing in her duty as a parent and needs some serious re-education.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    She and the boy need some stern intervention. I've no idea what planet she's on, but she's failing in her duty as a parent and needs some serious re-education.

    :yes: Are there courses of some sort for parents like her?

    Hospital does seem like a better option than care - he needs to be educated on food and nutrition.
    Absolutely. And I'm sorry, but her arguement of 'oh, he won't eat anything green' is BOLLOCKS. It's really very simple, stop all of the chips etc, remove it from the house and replace it with good quality, nutritious home made food

    I think that was mentioned on Tonight With Trevor McDonald last night and I'm sure said that something like that is cruel so she just gives him the food he wants; not what he needs.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Social services version of having tried everything can be very very different to a normal persons version of having tried everything It would be a far better use of the money and the system to have a foster carer type person (I say that because social workers are apparently too busy) support the boy and his mother in their own home and educate them on healthy eating and cooking, active hobbies and other lifestyle changes.

    That has high hopes of providing a long term solution and is far less likely to end up with the child in care long term.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It comes down to who you believe, I guess- her, or North Tyneside Social Services. I wouldn't want to put my money on who is more likely to be lying, to be quite honest.

    That said, the only person who was actually proposing care was that pompous cunt from the Fatties Must Die Authority, or whatever they're calling the anti-fat campaign this week.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It would be a far better use of the money and the system to have a foster carer type person (I say that because social workers are apparently too busy) support the boy and his mother in their own home and educate them on healthy eating and cooking, active hobbies and other lifestyle changes.

    That has high hopes of providing a long term solution and is far less likely to end up with the child in care long term.

    err... thats what social workers do. Are you really saying that a better solution would be to let an unqualified 'foster-carer-type person' try to succeed where the qualified person has already failed?

    Unlikely to work, imho
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's what they supposedly do, but in reality they 'don't have enough time' (apparently) to support a family to that extent.

    A foster carer type person (who may be unqualified but has been deemed a suitable person to look after vulnerable children) could work soley with that one family (like they would be if they were caring for that child) and educate the child and his mother and thus improve both lives and form a long term solution.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I didn't get the bit about him trying an apple "once". Like, what the hell did she wean him off milk onto as a toddler? ignorance here, but what would he have been eating other than apples, carrots, bananas, oats and similar? even jar baby food is mushed fruit and veg based meals.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    katralla wrote: »
    I didn't get the bit about him trying an apple "once". Like, what the hell did she wean him off milk onto as a toddler? ignorance here, but what would he have been eating other than apples, carrots, bananas, oats and similar? even jar baby food is mushed fruit and veg based meals.

    My thoughts exactly.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Foster careers aren't necessarily going to do a better job of feeding him either, they aren't miracle workers.

    He and his family need decent support, from social services, from the medical profession, and from his school......

    Bring on the flying pigs.

    Foster parents arent necessarily going to do a better job........but fuck me, could they do it any worse?? I doubt it.

    I caught the documentary. Poor kid, couldnt even tie his shoe lace. On the morning of his birthday his nan gave him his presants etc because she couldn't be arsed getting out of bed, she stayed in bed having a fag.

    Don't forget, this was in front of a whole TV crew, you would her expect to at least pretend when everyone is watching!

    If she can't be arsed getting outta bed for the morning of his birthday - why would she be bothered to make sure he eats right.

    Waste of space, lock her away.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    deceelpool wrote: »
    Foster parents arent necessarily going to do a better job........but fuck me, could they do it any worse?? I doubt it.

    I didn't see the program but of course there are worse things than being fat.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    katralla wrote: »
    I didn't see the program but of course there are worse things than being fat.

    There's fat and then there is seriously ill. 15 stone @ 8years old - which 1 do you think ?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Something that doesn't seem to have been reported so much is that the mother has suffered from severe depression for a long time. That doesn't condone how she has raised her son but it does explain a great deal. It would also explain why she felt she needed more help than she has previously received.

    There is much more to this case than the media have, or will ever, report. "Bad Mum" and "Look at Fatty" are great news stories. "Mum struggling to cope" isn't.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Different story, same problem.

    What do you guys make of this then? Should this girl be taken in to care?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why dont these kids get sent to Fat Camp, there is one in Leeds.

    At Fat Camp the kids are taught how to cook real food and learn to play sports and exercise.

    I cant see how this boy is going to loose weight at home with his mother or in social services hands.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    icey wrote: »
    Different story, same problem.

    What do you guys make of this then? Should this girl be taken in to care?
    In that case there is little doubt in my mind that absolutely yes. A 400lb adult male is sickeningly overweight. Parents who would do that are fucking sick and wrong.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fiend_85 wrote: »
    yes you can, get a backbone you daft woman. It's totally her fault and her responsibility, fucking four times what he should be isn't genetic, isn't puppy fat.

    yup i agree

    and i think that over feedin ur child is basically child abuse cus your just helping to put them in an early grave so yes the parents should be punished
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