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Male Friends
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Frequently I am getting annoyed with the fact that whenever I make a male acquaintance they end up coming onto me eventually or telling me they like me. Often after this it gets awkward for a while, don't talk to them for a bit then they come out of the woodworks again and expect us to pick up our friendship again, which I am quite happy to do as long as they get the message that it's purely friendship and don't try and cling onto something that is seriously not there from my point of view. Since Valentines a few of them have suddenly appeared again. Maybe they need an ego boost or something.
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Completely it sucks...and I am starting to realise its dangerous letting a guy take your number as he instantly asumes he is in there! Then when you tell them you are with someone else they make up bullshit stories about having a girlfriend. It's hilarious and so incredibly immature. Then they wish to be your friend once they realise you are seeing a woman. So stereotypical.
Well, I do not want to say "we tend to do that", because I can only speak for myself.
but if I am friend with a pretty girl, who's nice, caring, funny, helpful, upright and sincere, always fun to have around, outgoing, then give me one reason why I wouldn't want to fall for her and want to go out with her.
It is weird that you girls always seperate that so harshly. I am sure a big part of your friends would be awesome date material.
In the end it probably boils down to evolution: We want to bring our sperm to a lot of girls and fertilize a lot of eggs, while you girls really need a brute of a man to watch out for your offspring... or anything like that.
Sorry about that, sucks when that happens! I am blatently too friendly and give people the wrong vibe. Will just have to be harsher. Plus I am really slow when it comes to noticing people who fancy me.
:yes: that aaalways happens to me. im too nice and end up attracting random boys i work with, or know from going out, or whatever, just because im too friendly. i never have any interest in them either. and it gets annoying after a while. i always seem to attract weirdos too. ive had like 3 stalkers at my work!
im so glad cheese on toast said that thing about it being impossible for a guy to be friends with an attractive girl! do all boys think that? if a guy was like, best mates with a girl, but had no attraction to her whatsoever, is that possible?
Of course. If the dude is flamboyant.
joke aside, yea it is possible, but chances are we fall for you. I mean, like I said. you are pretty, nice, not a complete nutter, helpful, social compatible. Tell me why my instincts shouldn't demand to procreate with you.
It is always possible to be friends with an awesome girl, for example when you are in a relationship yourself, when you are, because of a exquisite taste not attracted to said attractive girl or other factors.
Can'T speak for everyone, it is possible, but unlikely.
If we come along perfectly, understand each other superb in a friendship way, than it is - at least for me - the only logical thing to convert that into a relationship... bodily urges occur too then.
I think it's a natural thing, you girls just can't wrap your head around it.
Yes, my best friend is a girl. I've known her since we were in nappies because our parents are best friends. I see her like a sister. There's no attraction and we're best mates.
And even if you haven't known them all your life, if a girl isn't physically attractive to you, more often than not, you can be the best of mates without an attraction.
I have a couple of male friends whom I absolutely adore, but yeah at one point or another one of us has entertained the idea of it becoming more. A few wrong moves were made and it took a while for things to be right again, but if you're good friends then you CAN get past that. These days I know my male friends don't think of me in that way, which is a bit of a bummer actually
I think when you're single, they're single and everything seems like it's worth a risk then a lot of people chance their arm. Especially if you're a nice, attractive, single girl who they care enough about to have formed a friendship. I don't think you can condemn or even harshly criticise them for it, it seems a pretty natural progression - even if your brain knows better.
But the fact is that if someone gets along with a girl really well, and finds her attractive, then he's obviously going to want to be more than just friends if it's possible. I mean what's the advice on here whenever someone comes up with the "I like this boy/girl, but I don't want to tell them in case it ruins the friendship?" Every time, it's, "If you don't find out, you'll always be left wondering." I know there are blokes out there who try and become "friends" with a girl just to try and get in her pants, but I don't think that you can assume that just because a bloke doesn't act the same way around you for a while after you've rejected him, that this was his intention all along.
It's difficult though. I mean I could tell you not to be flirty around him, to not give him the wrong messages, not laugh at his jokes too much, don't make too much physical contact, but if that's part of your personality, then there's not much you can do about it. Who can you be yourself round if not your friends?
but as others have said, if you have a freind who you get along with well, but is also very attractive, it's hard not to let the mind wander and think "what if".
at the end of the day, deep down, a pretty girl is a pretty girl and men will always harbour atleast some thoughts of getting with them! it's down to them to try keep it under control I suppose. Because even if they do fancy their freind, I'm sure the nice ones appreciate the freindship greatly too.
I guess I'd assume that men are driven by their balls a lot of the time
would an attractive guy and an attractive girl who were both single be able to stay freinds? probably not for long!
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I've never been mates with a good looking guy coz if I do meet a guy I fancy then I'll just skip the friendship and date him instead. All my male mates are just not my type.
I don't think it's a case of guys and gals not beng able to be friends, just that men will make more of an effort to get close to a woman if they think they can lay the cable.
I have to say any mates not my type that try it on, i just tend to get rid of them. I'm not too bothered bout hurting feelings etc.
Still, we all seek companionship. Should be glad you're not on the other end. It sucks.
Every now and again, an illicite moment will happen (usually just when trashed when a hug and a kiss feels good), and then we just go our separate ways.
There has never been any awkwardness involved, as it's been a mutual thing. We don't take it to the point of sleeping with each other though - and I have shared beds with several of these women, on numerous occasions.
I can't imagine not having any friends that I think are hot!!
ETA - there are also a few of my friends I've slept with... That hasn't been awkward either, but this is after knowing them for quite a long time and it wasn't all my doing.
Me neither. 99% of my male mates i'd fuck if they let me
Try harder!!
Mhmmm... Realizing that briggi agrees with one is a true safety pillow.
I jump the bandwagon of "all my female friends are good looking." It's not being shallow of mine, but I have honestly never came across a not-so-good looking girl who fits my description of friends. Either moody, or stuck up, boring etc...
I do have a bit of a problem with girls, because I am usually advancing rather quick in the "best friend" status. So you get called alot, talk alot, spend time a lot with that person, so of course to think of her too (when you rehearse the spent day in your head or something). Most of the time it suddenly makes click in the head and I want more than friendship.
I have a very very good female friend and it's a bit of a wobbly story. Years ago we had the hots for each other, but I terribly crapped it up by breaking her trust. Since then we always have arguments/break without talking (up to half a year)/best friends etc./repeat. Last summer there have been a looooot of grey zones, that would have driven her boyfriend up the wall (if he knew
Since I am studying now and she's working there is little time to spent together so I think it somehow cranks in.
I generally don't really administer my female friendships, because sooner or later I'd like to have more.
Sorry to bore you with that, but maybe it gives a few insights or a few "I agree with you"s.
I've fallen for male friends of my mine in the past when we've just been really good friends. I ended up being with one of them for 3 years. When I first met him, I never ever imagined myself being with him. It was just feelings that developed over time. Its not like I wanted them to be there either!
However, I do understand your annoyance. I've had so many of my male friends try it on with me and have had one declare their love on several occasions :nervous:. I just shrug it off and forget about it. I don't like anything like that wrecking a friendship.
I do have lots of male friends who just see me as a friend though and I like that