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depression and relationships

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
i also posted this in relationships because i didn't know where it really belonged :S

Well, after feeling really low for quite a while I eventually went to the doctor's and sorted out some counselling. The fact that I've taken steps towards feeling better is comforting but I feel there's still a problem with my relationship. Obviously, it's not going to be unaffected, but i thought that after 2 years it wouldn't be too bad. I just don't have any enthusiasm to do anything, or playfight, and i have no tolerance at all.The other day he was tickling me and I nearly started crying because I couldn't bear it, I didn't have any energy to move or the botherness to respond. And he was only doing it to make me smile, bless him. I'm so scared of losing this relationship by being distant but I can't help myself, I just want to be happy, goddammit!
The problem is that i'm worried what effect me being like this will have on my boyfriend. He believes in just 'getting on with it' and really doesn't understand why i'm behaving like this, especially for 'no reason'.
And the more he doesn't understand me, the worse I feel. At one sign of me not smiling he says "please don't be moody" in an attempt to cheer me up but that makes me feel worse! It's because i feel it's a little bit more than a mood, and i can't just snap out of it.

Hopefully counselling will help, I was wondering if anyone else had been in the same situation with a boyfriend/girlfriend and if theres any advice? And how helpful is counselling? I can't make my boyfriend understand but it's going to be difficult to sort myself out and keep him happy at the same time.I love him so much it hurts that I can't enjoy myself around the one person who used to cheer me up all the time.

:shocking:

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    relationships and depression don't really mix well together.
    may be you could go on a bit of a break for a bit?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't want to sound harsh but it isn't easy trying to get through depression, I've had it for about 5 years now and still have bad days. If your boyfriend is trying to understand and is willing to sit with you and talk if you feel down, or just cuddle you while you cry if that's what you want, then I wouldn't worry too much about him leaving because of it, if you keep worrying it will make things worse.
    You need to find out what it is that's making you depressed. Is it being with your boyfriend that's making you down? Or is it work/school, family, etc?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think at the beginning it was my insecurities about my boyfriend that led to me feeling lower and lower, and now it's being with him that's making me feel down because i'm just like this tired zombie person that can't have any fun, so i go home and i'm upset at myself, its like a vicious circle!
    he really is something special, but i only look at the negative side of things that he does and i can't snap out of it and see how lucky i am. but yeah, i can't keep worrying about it or it'll escalate, im hoping to get my insecurities sorted out, as it seems to be the root of it :S

    and you don't sound harsh at all, i just worry that im going to get to counselling and they'll tell me that i'm going through being a normal teenager and to get on with it and stop wasting their time :S
    i don't think i can do this by myself though!

    also, i think there's something going on with my mum and this other guy (was snooping on her phone the other day, there were lots of 'cu very soon darling x' and 'meet u outside *pub name*")
    this is also a bit stressing as im worried about my lovely dad getting hurt, and how my mum can do this, but it's not getting me down, it's just stressful. i'll leave them to it because after all they're the adults, they can sort out their own mess!
    work is knackering but fine, school hasn't really ever worried me that much, i'm a 'night-before-deadline' person.

    im keeping a diary from now until i get an appointment, to keep myself in check. today hasn't been too bad, it's because i know that im finally getting it sorted so im being a bit more positive i guess.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    A councillor will not tell you to stop wasting their time at all, I've never been to one myself (my doctors fobbed me off with anti-depressants and wouldnt give me councilling) but I imagine they'll just want to talk about your lifestyle so they can get to the bottom of the cause.
    As for your mum, with you being down right now you may just be reading too far into it, it could just be a friend, male or female. I have friends that call me babe, hun, etc but theres no more too it. Try not to worry so much. Chill out, and try write down how you feel, it will make you feel better.
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