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23, never kissed a girl

2

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote: »
    You sound like the sort of sad desperate man that thinks that splashing the cash and "treating her like a princess" is all you need to do to get her into bed. If every single girl you date runs a mile you really must be that transparent- either that, or the world's biggest bore. You're not a geography teacher are you?

    That's harsh, but true. Personally, if a guy was to spend loads of money on me, I'd think he was after something. Of course, if I had a boyfriend who did that, it wouldn't bother me.
  • SkiveSkive Posts: 15,282 Skive's The Limit
    Kermit wrote: »
    You sound like the sort of sad desperate man that thinks that splashing the cash and "treating her like a princess" is all you need to do to get her into bed. If every single girl you date runs a mile you really must be that transparent- either that, or the world's biggest bore. You're not a geography teacher are you?

    Although much of that may be true, I don't think you need to express it with quite as much sting as that.
    He was looking for advice, and although constructive criticism is good, try not to take so much obvious pleasure in giving it.
    Weekender Offender 
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't take pleasure in giving it, although I must say this line:
    Less attractive, less charming guys with less prospects all have no problems.

    did get up my nose and illustrated quite a lot about why the OP may be having trouble getting girls into bed. Confidence is a great virtue, but the attitude that wine + dine = 69 isn't.

    I'm quite consistent in saying that I can't abide the attitude that you deserve to have a girlfriend simply because you spend a wedge. It's not like buying a new toy.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote: »
    I don't take pleasure in giving it

    That's not what i've heard :naughty:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    OYER? :flirt:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You probably need practice at how to pull firstly but a good style me and my friends used to use was the rescue technique - you look out for a girl being hassled by some loser trying to pull her then just sort of drag her away to dance with you... kinda hard to explain but it seemed to work pretty well

    I can't believe I've been out that many times with mates and not tried that. That method is getting a run out next time I'm out on the pull.

    Hopefully I can pull more than a ligament in my wallet! :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I reckon the reason for failing with every girl you've taken out is that you're being a pussy around them. If they think you're good looking enough to go out with you then that can be the only reason.

    learn to act like a man, be confident and don't stand around embarrassed when someone else starts talking to them - mark your territory and make it clear you have no intention of just "being friends".

    Basically - grow some balls.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Spliffie wrote: »
    I reckon the reason for failing with every girl you've taken out is that you're being a pussy around them. If they think you're good looking enough to go out with you then that can be the only reason.

    learn to act like a man, be confident and don't stand around embarrassed when someone else starts talking to them - mark your territory and make it clear you have no intention of just "being friends".

    Basically - grow some balls.

    whoo, thats rather harsh isnt it? :razz:

    id say just have some more confidence. dont act nervous, and just be chill. things will just happen, you cant pray you get yourself a kiss.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Heyoka wrote: »
    whoo, thats rather harsh isnt it? :razz:

    Not really.

    If you act like a pussy you'll get treated like a pussy.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote: »
    Not really.

    If you act like a pussy you'll get treated like a pussy.

    aye, you got me there.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jomery wrote: »
    I don't get it. I'm not unattractive - all my female friends say I'm good looking and say they can't believe that I'm single or never pulled. This just adds insult to injury - then why won't they ever want to be with me?! Less attractive, less charming guys with less prospects all have no problems.

    Just because you're re relatively attractive in your eyes, does not men women will be all over you. Just because somebody is "less attractive" and has "less prospects" does not mean they're any less worthy than you as a boyfriend. Maybe you should lose that attitude if you ever expect to get a woman.

    If I were on a date with you and you said you thought things like that, especially about mates of mine I wouldn't think you were a very nice person.

    You can't be charming if you can't get a girl... Brush up your techniques.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi everyone,

    Thanks for the responses, I really appreciate it.

    It's funny that many of you said it happens when you least expect it, it's so true. Last night there was a party but I knew I was not going to go out looking for anything - I wanted to take some time to read this sort of advice and change my game.

    Anyway I somehow started dirty dancing with a pretty hot girl and spent the rest of the night with her. Bought each other drinks (see I didn't pay for the whole night this time!) and had some good conversation. I think I was very funny and charming, lots of humorous comments and confident, which I usually don't manage.

    Anyway we touched lips a couple of times but I was still far too scared to go in for the pull, fear of her not responding. Did kiss her a lot though. Anyway she says she'll be in touch and there was chemistry so let's see what happens.

    I'm really sorry, and pretty surprised, that I offended people by saying it's frustrating that "less attractive, less charming guys with less prospects all have no problems". It's all the truth though. Girls say I'm a 7-8, HotOrNot style sites say similar, and I know I look better than most guys! It's frustrating that I've worked hard and achieved much in my life, yet this impresses people only for friendship but nobody finds it 'attractive'.

    And surely if a girl is thinking of an appropriate partner, "prospects" should be a criteria?? I.e. having a degree from a good university and a good career should be significant bonus points - someone you'll be able to enjoy a good lifestyle with, someone you'd be proud to be with, etc? That said though, I couldn't care less whether a potential partner was a lawyer or waitress.
    Namaste wrote: »
    Just because somebody is "less attractive" and has "less prospects" does not mean they're any less worthy than you as a boyfriend.
    But this is what I disagree with - surely I have more to offer them as a boyfriend than someone else? As in, they can stay with me at my luxurious apartment rather than the guy living with his parents, they can enjoy more exotic holidays with me, go to better clubs, etc?

    x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jomery wrote: »
    But this is what I disagree with - surely I have more to offer them as a boyfriend than someone else? As in, they can stay with me at my luxurious apartment rather than the guy living with his parents, they can enjoy more exotic holidays with me, go to better clubs, etc?
    Would you rather go down your local pub with Angelina Jolie, or on an exotic cruise with Anne Widdecombe? Case closed.

    The things you mentioned are the sort of things parents of girlfriends like, not girlfriends. It is true that lots of girls will find you more attractive if you have more money, and are generally high up in your social circle and confident as a result, but such things only enhance what's already there. Oh, and a degree from a good university means fuck all to a girl. Intelligent conversation would impress them far more than a framed certificate. Playing a song to a girl would impress them far more than a platinum disc on your wall. In my opinion anyway. Attraction isn't logical.

    Oh, and hope it goes well for you with that girl.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jomery wrote: »
    But this is what I disagree with - surely I have more to offer them as a boyfriend than someone else? As in, they can stay with me at my luxurious apartment rather than the guy living with his parents, they can enjoy more exotic holidays with me, go to better clubs, etc?

    x

    Delusions of grandeur?

    Women aren't that shallow or simple, if you think they are then you either have no idea about them, or have no respect for them as intelligent individuals.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jomery wrote: »
    But this is what I disagree with - surely I have more to offer them as a boyfriend than someone else? As in, they can stay with me at my luxurious apartment rather than the guy living with his parents, they can enjoy more exotic holidays with me, go to better clubs, etc?

    If you're as shallow as that its no wonder you bore the living crap out of all your dates.

    Good luck with the lass- with that attitude you'll need it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jomery wrote: »
    But this is what I disagree with - surely I have more to offer them as a boyfriend than someone else? As in, they can stay with me at my luxurious apartment rather than the guy living with his parents, they can enjoy more exotic holidays with me, go to better clubs, etc?

    x

    Don't mean to sound harsh or anything, but you seem to be up your own arse here - you come across as though you think you deserve a girlfriend because of all the money you've spent on them.
    And surely if a girl is thinking of an appropriate partner, "prospects" should be a criteria?? I.e. having a degree from a good university and a good career should be significant bonus points - someone you'll be able to enjoy a good lifestyle with, someone you'd be proud to be with, etc? That said though, I couldn't care less whether a potential partner was a lawyer or waitress.

    You relly do sound like the type of people who think 'oh, I have a decent job & degree, and I should be able to get a girlfriend because of this'; even though many girls do think about more than this. Yes, it'll be nice to go out with someone who has a decent job, rather than someone who just has a really awful job and has no job prospects or whatever.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jomery wrote: »

    But this is what I disagree with - surely I have more to offer them as a boyfriend than someone else? As in, they can stay with me at my luxurious apartment rather than the guy living with his parents, they can enjoy more exotic holidays with me, go to better clubs, etc?

    x

    You crack me right up.

    There are certain girls that that would impress, however they're not usually the type of girls you wanna be around.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Wow, harsh responses... but just look at the evidence. Oxbridge graduates are nearly always with similarly intelligent people. Doctors, lawyers, bankers all inter-date. Working class people go out with working class people. Like attracts like, which is why you don't see many ambitious, successful people who are with Joe (and Josephine) Average. You wouldn't exactly see Jade Goody's boyfriend dump her for Shilpa Shetty would ya now!
    Would you rather go down your local pub with Angelina Jolie, or on an exotic cruise with Anne Widdecombe? Case closed.
    Good analogy, but hasn't it been said so many times on this site that looks are really not that important for attracting people? I look fine, my chat is fine, and resultantly I have lots of attractive female friends, they're just not interested in a romantic way.

    About the girl, we've been txting all day and arranged to meet up, I just have no idea how to move this into 'relationship' territory, I'm too scared to just say I want you to be my gf in case she says no let's be friends then everything's awkward as per usual...

    x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sofie wrote: »
    Don't mean to sound harsh or anything, but you seem to be up your own arse here - you come across as though you think you deserve a girlfriend because of all the money you've spent on them.
    No, I think I deserve a girlfriend because I've worked so hard to achieve so much, be successful and make something of my life, and am therefore more worthy than a loser who has wasted their opportunities.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jomery wrote: »
    Wow, harsh responses... but just look at the evidence. Oxbridge graduates are nearly always with similarly intelligent people. Doctors, lawyers, bankers all inter-date. Working class people go out with working class people. Like attracts like, which is why you don't see many ambitious, successful people who are with Joe (and Josephine) Average. You wouldn't exactly see Jade Goody's boyfriend dump her for Shilpa Shetty would ya now!
    Oxbridge graduates nearly always go out with similarly intelligent people because they share the same social circle. Working class people go out with other working class people because they met in the same pub or met through their other working class friends (not that you would be suggesting for one second that working class people necessarily lack intelligence, would you). You get drunk and pull at the office party at your law firm, the chances of the person you're pulling being a factory worker or a bus driver is pretty slim. I don't really get what you're on about though. People go out with similar people. So what?
    Jomery wrote: »
    About the girl, we've been txting all day and arranged to meet up, I just have no idea how to move this into 'relationship' territory, I'm too scared to just say I want you to be my gf in case she says no let's be friends then everything's awkward as per usual...
    Well, I think we've found the problem. You shouldn't even be thinking of "moving it into relationship territory" within about a month of you first pulling imo. How do you know you even like her enough to be bf and gf? Seriously, it sounds like you've had a slight sniff of attention from her, and you're desperate to get her nailed down as your girlfriend, just so you can have one. God almighty, just chill out. Text her back. Flirt a bit. Don't try and hide the fact that you find her attractive, but don't be putting pressure on her to decide whether she likes you or not, because it'll make her uncomfortable and then the answer will be no. Ask her out, or ask her when she's next out on the piss and suggest that you meet up. Then carry on where you left off (i.e. getting to know her romantically, to see whether you like her).

    ETA: After re-reading your post, I'm certain you're obsessed with getting a girlfriend specifically, rather than just having a laugh with girls, and maybe pulling a few (which ironically not only stops you getting a girlfriend, but prevents you from pulling in the first place, because you come on too strong). You keep mentioning reasons why you're good boyfriend material, not reasons why you're more attractive to girls in the first place. Being good boyfriend material helps you to keep your girlfriend, it doesn't help you to get her in the first place. Being fun, interesting, making her laugh, making her feel comfortable. These are the things that get you the girl in the first place.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think you place too much importance on your material posessions and what you have acheived in your studies and your career.

    Personally I would much rather have a thoughtful gift than something that cost lots but was just a standard generic gift. My male friend bought me a book, the time travlers wife, for my birthday, it wasnt expensive but it was the thought that counts, as he had recalled a conversation about the kind of things I like to read and specifically that book from a fair few months before.

    I think you should take time to actually speak to girls and listen to what they say, pay attention and then perhaps you might understand why you don't get any futher on than you already have.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well, I think we've found the problem. You shouldn't even be thinking of "moving it into relationship territory" within about a month of you first pulling imo. How do you know you even like her enough to be bf and gf? Seriously, it sounds like you've had a slight sniff of attention from her, and you're desperate to get her nailed down as your girlfriend, just so you can have one. God almighty, just chill out. Text her back. Flirt a bit. Don't try and hide the fact that you find her attractive, but don't be putting pressure on her to decide whether she likes you or not, because it'll make her uncomfortable and then the answer will be no. Ask her out, or ask her when she's next out on the piss and suggest that you meet up. Then carry on where you left off (i.e. getting to know her romantically, to see whether you like her).
    Yes you're right, and if you read my first post you'll see why. I'm really, really paranoid that if we're not together I could easily lose her, the next time she goes out without me she could pull another guy, then that's the end of that, another chance squandered.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jomery wrote: »
    Yes you're right, and if you read my first post you'll see why. I'm really, really paranoid that if we're not together I could easily lose her, the next time she goes out without me she could pull another guy, then that's the end of that, another chance squandered.

    And a million more chances to find another girl more suited to you. By stressing about stuff like this, you're changing what should be an "ah gutted" reaction, into a "I'm gonna be alone forever" reaction. You're putting far too much pressure on the relationship (which let's face it, doesn't actually exist yet) right from the start. If a girl likes you, she won't pull someone in front of you. If she does, then you had the wrong impression of her. Oh well, plenty more fish in the sea, no harm done - unless of course you've put your heart on the line straight away to be trampled on, and convinced yourself somehow that this girl that you barely know is your one chance to find happiness.

    Remember, there are no promises in relationships. For a relationship to occur and continue, both parties must remain interesting and attractive to each other. It doesn't always last because people change, situations change, people who seem interesting and attractive initially aren't so much when you get to know each other a bit better, a whole host of things can effect it, but the principle is always the same. And that isn't something that a promise (or agreement to be your gf) can bring.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Nobody 'deserves' a girlfriend.

    My thoughts exactly.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jomery wrote: »
    Oxbridge graduates are nearly always with similarly intelligent people. Doctors, lawyers, bankers all inter-date.

    I met my wife whilst at uni so she is obviously of graduate calibre. If I was single and to meet someone at my work they would also be of graduate calibre. I'm not going to meet a plumber at my firm's ball.

    If you think you deserve a girlfriend then that's why you find it so hard to attract a woman for keeps. She isn't a prize, for God's sake.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jomery wrote: »
    No, I think I deserve a girlfriend because I've worked so hard to achieve so much, be successful and make something of my life, and am therefore more worthy than a loser who has wasted their opportunities.

    Wtf?

    So you want a trophy woman, not an equal relationship?

    A woman is a human being, not a pet. :yeees:

    No wonder you aren't getting any.

    Here little lady! C'mon! I'll give you a biscuit! Ohhhh gooood girl!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Namaste wrote: »
    Wtf?

    So you want a trophy woman, not an equal relationship?

    A woman is a human being, not a pet. :yeees:

    No wonder you aren't getting any.

    Here little lady! C'mon! I'll give you a biscuit! Ohhhh gooood girl!
    No need to be so rude. Incredible how someone accused me of thinking women are shallow, because they apparantly appreciate looks over calibre. Um, hello? It is extremely shallow for a girl to like a guy based on what they look like, which depends largely on their parents' genetic makeup, rather than their ambition, successfulness, prospects etc, which one has achieved and therefore should impress. Fortunately it seems like the girl I've been texting seems really impressed at the job I have succeeded in achieving and my resultant quality of life.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jomery wrote: »
    No need to be so rude. Incredible how someone accused me of thinking women are shallow, because they apparantly appreciate looks over calibre. Um, hello? It is extremely shallow for a girl to like a guy based on what they look like, which depends largely on their parents' genetic makeup, rather than their ambition, successfulness, prospects etc, which one has achieved and therefore should impress. Fortunately it seems like the girl I've been texting seems really impressed at the job I have succeeded in achieving and my resultant quality of life.

    So you'd be alright with going out with someone who is ugly but is successful career wise?:confused: That's what it seems like to me...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why do you think any girl would want to be with you?
    Having a good job or 'good prospects' is not interesting. It might put food on the table which would be a long long long long long way off in the future for any starting relationship but what would make someone want to be with you now?
    Well done, you have set yourself goals and acheived these. Many others have been going out, being their interesting selfs and having the time of their life getting to know the oposite sex. Guess you missed out.
    Dont treat people ike they are possesions.

    "I've worked hard 48 hours a week for the last month so now i should be able to get that ipod/girlfriend that i want." :rolleyes:
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