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combatting loneliness
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
just wondering if you guys can give me any tips...
I stay in halls at uni, so my basic living quarters are a 4 walled room and a kitchen, no seperate space to hang out in, which i'm not too keen on but i can usually deal with. I'm a very very social person, got lots of things planned etc, and lots of work, so i should be pretty busy and not be worrying about things like this.
However, most recently, I absolutely can't stand being in my room on my own, even if i have to do work, I'm still distracting myself. There's been a few problems recently: my nan died, which meant that i spent a lot more time at home surrounded by my family- and i always feel more spiritually whole whilst i'm there anyway. Also had a problem with a housemate recently, which made me feel a bit hounded n not wanting to be in this place.
So despite the fact that i badly need to do work (and i am getting it done, just) I also feel like i really need to surround myself with people. For example, just had a lovely afternoon out with my friends, but as soon as i've got back in and sat down to my work, i'm after more people to talk to etc. n i just feel kind of "bad".
I'm not really sure what im after here. i've got plenty of things planned to do and plenty of work to be getting on with... i just want to stop the bad "lonely" feeling when im sat in here. Cos i got no reason to be feeling it...
I stay in halls at uni, so my basic living quarters are a 4 walled room and a kitchen, no seperate space to hang out in, which i'm not too keen on but i can usually deal with. I'm a very very social person, got lots of things planned etc, and lots of work, so i should be pretty busy and not be worrying about things like this.
However, most recently, I absolutely can't stand being in my room on my own, even if i have to do work, I'm still distracting myself. There's been a few problems recently: my nan died, which meant that i spent a lot more time at home surrounded by my family- and i always feel more spiritually whole whilst i'm there anyway. Also had a problem with a housemate recently, which made me feel a bit hounded n not wanting to be in this place.
So despite the fact that i badly need to do work (and i am getting it done, just) I also feel like i really need to surround myself with people. For example, just had a lovely afternoon out with my friends, but as soon as i've got back in and sat down to my work, i'm after more people to talk to etc. n i just feel kind of "bad".
I'm not really sure what im after here. i've got plenty of things planned to do and plenty of work to be getting on with... i just want to stop the bad "lonely" feeling when im sat in here. Cos i got no reason to be feeling it...
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Comments
Yeah mines not particularly friendly either. Each flat is incredibly separate in a block. I hardly see people from the other rooms. Generally only do when the fire alarm goes off then I don't see them again for ages. It is like cell blocks. I just go on walks as well even if its just to the petrol station to buy a chocolate bar.
yeah i get out of the house quite a lot, just doesnt help with my procrastination cos i'm also quite bad at that!
Not that ive been good at implimenting it myself recently though..!!
Sitting here just makes me waste time and long for company...
but yep, that's the same, longing for company even though im socially incredibly active!
Maybe people are a distraction from things that are bugging you.
Other than that, I'm not any great help, being a victim myself. As it's affecting your work, if it gets too serious, you might want to consider seeing a professional. I know the feeling, it sucks majorly, when you're sitting there and you can feel that lancinating sensation, as if your stomach is a host for vicious butterflies.
I'm like nelly_bar, sometimes prefer to work in the library just because it doesn't feel so alone. Even though it's not like I talk to anyone there, it's somehow nice to be surrounded by other people all working away like me. I don't know what your library is like, but surely there are tables or desks or something you could work at? It also helps with procrastination because there aren't any distractions!
i love having my door open but unfortunately i have a pain of a housemate who despite the fact that if i stand outside the door i cant hear my tv, claims that im too noisy etc etc.
yeah i do like going to the library, just cant get into it-- ill have to try it though!
My other flatmate is awesome (they both are) and very sociable... So she comes down and goes on my laptop or we listen to music. It's good because I'm a pretty social person, I mean I'll talk to most people and love company.