Dirty old men and sexual harrassment

Former Member

I've had some dirty old man grab my bum. He wasn't a day under 70. Makes me feel quite ill actually.

Former Member

Franki wrote:

That is arguable . And I'm sure a lot of people would agree with you (me not being one of them ;p).

I'm going to agree, and more to the point you have fucking incredible legs and you know it.

I've noticed guys staring before, especially in summer, but nothing extreme, I guess I just don't look like someone you'd mess with. Not, just to make this clear, that I'm implying that any of the lovely ladies here act or look like victims. Just that I am possibly the anti-victim.

Former Member

I've had the "nice tits" shout from middle aged white van man. I shouted back "Yeah, you too!"

Indrid Cold

Miffy wrote:

I've had the "nice tits" shout from middle aged white van man. I shouted back "Yeah, you too!"

:thumb:

Former Member

I used to work in a nursing home and my friend and I got loads of unwanted attention walking to and from work in our unifroms, to the point where we were being followed by a middle aged guy who drove alongside us. Our uniforms were 'nurses uniforms'.... but not nice ones. Even when we stopped wearing them to work we were followed, it was horrible.

I hate it when men leer at you on the street too. Theres loads of building work going on around us at the moment and I can't leave work without being wolf-whistled from the scaffolding and it's just nasty. Men have no right to do it and it's so disrespectful

Former Member

In the days of camera phones, you should just take a picture and send it to the police. I mean shouting "nice tits" from a van is one thing, but wanking at you on a bus. Tell the driver to lock the doors and drop him off at the station so he can get caught with his pants down. I think it's quite important, because I think a lot of these blokes go on to commit more serious offences.

Former Member

wow I can't believe half of the stuff you guys have said! I haven't really had any probs

Former Member

Ballerina wrote:

I'm surprised at how many people have experienced the bus thing. Are you talking during the day on a busy bus?

I think sexually perverted weirdos all live on busses - when I was growing up there was a bloke who was known as the Shoe Bloke and he harrased nearlly all of my friends - thankfully he was pretty harmless. But the first time I met him I got on the bus and sat by the driver - this was about 6pm on a friday evening - he moved from the back seat to sit next to me and said - "can I look at your legs" and then proceeded to stare at them from about 2 foot away for the rest of the journey.

However someone must have told him at some point that asking to look at peoples legs was inappropriate so he then started asking to look at peopels shoes - but his favourite were knee high boots....

Anyway I used to get harrased quite a lot I don't think I do as much now but i also think thats partly becuase I am grown up and don't go to potentially harrasing places as much - like I hardly ever take busses now etc etc. About a year ago I did get some men thrown out of a club for trying to drag me off down a dark corridor and molest me - thankfully I was saved by a friend - who pretened to be my boyfriend to make them leave me alone and then got the bouncer to chuck them out.

On the other hand though some of my friends thought it was "hillarious" to go around beeping at men when they first got their cars and shouting out the window at them...

Former Member

Fiend_85 wrote:

I'm going to agree, and more to the point you have fucking incredible legs and you know it.

I've noticed guys staring before, especially in summer, but nothing extreme, I guess I just don't look like someone you'd mess with. Not, just to make this clear, that I'm implying that any of the lovely ladies here act or look like victims. Just that I am possibly the anti-victim.

This is true I think some people get hassled more than others and it has to be something to do with the way they conduct themselves (not really to do with dress or looks) - when I lived in Kings Cross I never got hassled ever I dont' think i'm that ugly and i used to run around in skirts that hardly covered my bum all the time late at night. But another girl in my halls got curb crawled all the time even though she ususally wore jeans or long skirts. The only think i can think of was that i was generally more confident and less vulnerable looking.

However I'm also not that bothered when people call out darling or wolf whistle at me in passing so maybe I didnt' get so upset about it as she did. I've never really understood people who get upset about being called darling by random people like shop keepers - though my favourite is princess.

Former Member

I'm With Stupid wrote:

shouting "nice tits" from a van is one thing, but wanking at you on a bus. Tell the driver to lock the doors and drop him off at the station so he can get caught with his pants down. I think it's quite important, because I think a lot of these blokes go on to commit more serious offences.

Agree completely. I think the whole thing is REALLY shocking.

Wyetry wrote:

I've never really understood people who get upset about being called darling by random people like shop keepers - though my favourite is princess.

Me either.

Former Member

Yeah like when they go back - "i'm not your darling" - when 99% of the time the other person is only tryign to be friendly - its not like they are calling you a whore or something.

But there is probably some hard core feminist ideal behind it.

Former Member

There's weirdos everywhere. It's mad how we just come to accept some types of behaviour after a while. When I was at Uni I worked in a nightclub. One of the bouncers, who I generally got on with, used to pinch my bum when I had my hands full. I just used to laugh it off because I wasn't really sure what to do and didn't want to be seen as the prudish girl. One night, when I was carrying a tray of glasses from the dishwasher, he just lifted my skirt up (it was summer and it was hot so my skirt was quite short) and wouldn't let go - he even called other bouncers over to show them my thong. I didn't know what to do but eventually dropped the tray of glasses onto a bottle bin so that I could grab my skirt from his hands. My bar manager just looked at me, told me off for breaking glasses when I dropped the tray and then sent me to clean up some puke, like it was all my fault!

As for being flashed, I don't think that I have. I did get some mad dude come up to me in the street, when I was about 17, and just try and snog me though. Very strange.

Former Member

Wyetry wrote:

Yeah like when they go back - "i'm not your darling" - when 99% of the time the other person is only tryign to be friendly - its not like they are calling you a whore or something.

But there is probably some hard core feminist ideal behind it.

Yes, it's called "man hating".

Former Member

Loopi wrote:

There's weirdos everywhere. It's mad how we just come to accept some types of behaviour after a while. When I was at Uni I worked in a nightclub. One of the bouncers, who I generally got on with, used to pinch my bum when I had my hands full. I just used to laugh it off because I wasn't really sure what to do and didn't want to be seen as the prudish girl. One night, when I was carrying a tray of glasses from the dishwasher, he just lifted my skirt up (it was summer and it was hot so my skirt was quite short) and wouldn't let go - he even called other bouncers over to show them my thong. I didn't know what to do but eventually dropped the tray of glasses onto a bottle bin so that I could grab my skirt from his hands. My bar manager just looked at me, told me off for breaking glasses when I dropped the tray and then sent me to clean up some puke, like it was all my fault!

As for being flashed, I don't think that I have. I did get some mad dude come up to me in the street, when I was about 17, and just try and snog me though. Very strange.

That's terrible!