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Parents having sex

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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey there,

    I am sorry that you have been thrown into a situation like this and I am sure your mum wanted to find a more polite and decent way of telling you that she wants a new man in her life but couldn't or didn't know how to. For you at 16, is a difficult time as it is growing up and this is the time when you most need your rmother when insecurity has been such a recent feature of your life until now.

    I can see where your mother is coming from and sure, she needs a friend in her life too and someone she can feel young with again even if this means that she is pushing you away through doing so. This is not the way a mother should act and instead, to bring you closer to her and reassurre you that your needs are very important too and not just hers. A child should always come first and at 16, you are still a child at least until 18 and boys take longer than girls to grow up is a well known fact of life.

    I think your mother knows that she is being selfish and wrong and not because she has a boyfriend, but because she is pushing your feelings and needs of her aside in the process. She may resent her role as mother and because she wants her youth and freedom back, though as a mother, we take on the those responsibilities whether we want them or not. You are her son and she needs to see that you are unhappy about the way she is treating you and not for the fact that she has a boyfriend.

    It doesn't sound like this man has gotten to know you very well and somone who is wanting to be a friend and someone who wants your mother all to himself. This is not healthy nor is it a happy situation and not suprisingly, you feel the way you do. If I were your mother, I would not allow a man to come between my relationship with you but each mother is different and does things that even they themselves don't know or understand the consequence of their own behaviours.

    I think talking to her openly again about how you really feel will make her understand you more. She should really be having her private moments with this man in a hotel or his place if she knows that you are going to be home and exposed to the sound of this noise. I am amazed that even after you told her that you could hear what was going on that she still continues to do it and she should really do it elsewhere if only so that it isn't going to disturb your need and right to privacy.

    I am disgusted I must say and not because she is wanting to be young, but because she should have some self-respect around the presence of her children. Even the man she is seeing must know and respect this unless he is wanting to dominate your mother's attention and affection's so that she will be emotionally neglecting you?. It sounds to me that this is something you need to talk about with someone you can trust who is older such as your father if you still see him.

    This is not a pleasant situation and seems to be verging on an abusive side if she is neglecting your wishes and feelings as her child. You are not old enough nor mature enough at 16 to be dealing with this and she should see this and if anything, be protecting you rather than exposing you to potential harm that is emotional as far as I can tell. You need to let other adults around you know what is hapening so that you can also get some respite from what is happening all of the time.

    I really feel sad for you kid and hope that your mum listens up and does something as this isn't quite right despite what her needs are to be young. You cannot become an adult to her at 16 and as her child, she should not expect you to be rational and reasonable when you have already faced loss and anxiety from a seperation with your father. She is very selfish and if she wants this relationship wit this man this is okay - no one is saying she can't but that it does not interfear with your relationship with her as her son.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    amazingly wrote:
    A child should always come first and at 16, you are still a child at least until 18 and boys take longer than girls to grow up is a well known fact of life.

    I think your mother knows that she is being selfish and wrong and not because she has a boyfriend,

    I am disgusted I must say and not because she is wanting to be young,

    I really feel sad for you kid and hope that your mum listens up and does something as this isn't quite right despite what her needs are to be young.

    1. Kangoo is a 21 year old female.

    2. Do children always come first, even adult children?!

    3. Kangoo said it was her mother's wedding, so she doesn't have a boyfriend, she has a husband.

    4. Why does wanting someone to spend your life with = trying to be young?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hi

    It's ya mum's house n dey got da right, but it's disrespectful and dey should at least wait til ur asleep or sumfin.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you should try to avoid using words like 'dey' and 'da' - txt speak and the likes is generally bummed. and i think it says something about it in the rules. :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    GirlieGal wrote: »
    It's ya mum's house n dey got da right, but it's disrespectful and dey should at least wait til ur asleep or sumfin.

    They wake me up. That's the only thing I have a problem with is that they're obviously not trying even a little bit to keep it down
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This is childish but when their not shaggin play some music for an hour and when they tell you to turn it down say "ohh, don't like it when our being kept awake?"
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    Makoto wrote: »
    This is childish but when their not shaggin play some music for an hour and when they tell you to turn it down say "ohh, don't like it when our being kepy awake?"
    :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    amazingly wrote: »
    I am disgusted I must say and not because she is wanting to be young

    As everyone knows, only young people have sex :rolleyes:

    If you can't stay there and tolerate it, or they can't control themselves for the odd evening, then you shouldn't stay there. But I do think that expecting your mum and hubby to not have sex is a bit unrealistic tbh.
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    She just expects them to be quieter, which I would say isn't a lot to ask.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah...I don't think that's unreasonable either tbh....I'd expect the same rules to apply whether you're sharing a roof with family members, friends or housemates...just simple courtesy!!:yes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ehh, nobody needs to know their parents are having sex. past experience. not pretty.

    so yeah. discuss it with them, ya know? and tell them to give you fair warning or something. or, tell them to be quiet, or youll come running in with a hokey mask and a meat clever while theyre in the middle of it :) that can ruin any...expedition.
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