Home Work & Study
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨

I'm not sure what to do

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
edited March 27 in Work & Study
Well I'm not sure which forum this goes in. Possibly student. Possibly relationships. Before I start, I know I'm a lazy-good-for-nothing-POS, and that's why I'm trying to confront the issue.

Well, the main issue is my lack of motivation at the minute. I mean, the first few weeks were ok, I went to lectures, but then I missed a few, and the past few weeks it's become a habit and I seem to be missing most of my lectures, and even the odd assignment. I can't really explain why, it doesn't make sense to me. All I can pin it down to is sheer laziness.

But when I was working full time for a few weeks, it was lovely. Had to be there at 9am sharp and left at 5pm sharp, that was the working day and I worked really hard (much to the annoyance of the some of the veteran slackers, because I made their job look easy) and I got home feeling good that I'd finished every single bit of work they'd thrown at me.

At university, the workload is so, so much easier. But I don't do much of it! I don't have self discipline maybe, I've been trying to work it out in my head. Part of me has thought 'have I made a mistake in coming to University?' and the answer is: I'm not sure. I want a degree so badly, I really really do. But I'm just... lazy.

I had this problem at A level as well, and GCSE before that, but it wasn't so prominent because the school-imposed 'be here at 9 and leave at 3' rules made sure I went to the lessons. Now at uni, the freedom is too liberating for me. I don't think I can handle it because I don't know what to do. It's like.. when I go into a shop to buy food I spend 10 minutes in front of the food thinking what to buy. I enjoy cooking, and can cook quite well, it's just the insane amount of choice I don't know which thing is 'the best'.

Compounded on top of this laziness is... I'm not sure what to call it. A sadness maybe. I tried to make friends in the first few weeks but wasn't very successful, (well, I made some but they all have their own friendship 'groups' whereas I'm not in any 'group' and don't get invited out etc.), so then I turned into a bit of a hermit. I've had the whole 'well there's no use feeling sorry for yourself' and you know what? That's completely right.

But, as with being compulsively lazy, I can't seem to do much about it. Not going out, not doing anything. I've even stayed in bed at times, awake, not tired, just because I was worried about going to my lecture. I think in many situations anxiety gets the better of me. But in others, it's this weird thing... like I think to myself 'if I miss it oh well'.

Right now, I've got a fair bit of work to do, and will do it as soon as I finish this entry (though I'm not quite sure I understand it). Becuase I know if I don't they'll probably kick me out.

Sometimes I think I'm a waste of space... you know? There are so many people who worked so hard to get to university and here I am, and I'm at one of the finest institutions in the world, I'm probably in the top 5% of everyone in the entire world in terms of academic success (possibly?) and yet I just sit on my arse and do nothing. It's times like this I wish I had never been born, that I'm just some messy blob in the human gene pool and I'll never amount to anything.

I want to turn my life around and get seriously motivated, not just about university but about going out, about making friends, even the basics like keeping in shape, taking up interesting hobbies and learning new skills. I don't know if I know how though, or if I've got the willpower.

What a waste of space I am.

p.s. I spoke to my tutor about my concerns a few weeks ago and told him I didn't want to throw everything away and he said that I shouldn't be worried academically because people join the course late and still get good degrees, and also said simply I shouldn't miss lectures. I know that... but I still do.

:banghead:
Post edited by JustV on

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    1. Rich you are not a waste of space.
    2. Uni is MASSIVE life change. Its quite astronomic and just so far from everything you've known, there's no routine apart from that set by yourself, its not as hard as A levels, and the lecturers sometimes dont give a chuff if you don't go in. Don't be so hard on yourself. Its a learning curve.
    3. You have to fuck up pretty spectacularly to get thrown out ( in my experience anyway) my attendance was probably about 30-40% last year I didn't do two presentations and failed 6 bits of coursework and had to do resits to pass the year. So far this term my attendance has been 50% and I'm still here. Granted I have had some mitagation due to mental health problems but I'm also a lazy partying ho.
    4. Go home for xmas and see how you feel when you come back. I found I felt a lot different in the second term

    :heart:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I get your point there, because my school was strict as hell when it came to missing classes etc etc. And now....like 13-14 hrs a week at the very most at uni is nothing compared to the whole 9-3.30 thing 5 days a week at school. Although I have a massive conscience, if I were to miss a lecture I'd feel pretty bad...so I go anyway, no matter how boring it is...and believe me some of them are!!

    Don't worry about the whole lack of motivation thing, you, like myself are a fresher, it'll probably take us to make some mistakes in the first year, to actually realise that we aren't going to get anywhere by doing nothing. Your tutor more than likely knew that, having probably had a lot of past experience of it. And you are not a waste of space, you're a normal uni student. It's hard to settle at the start, and to make friends, but you'll get there, trust me.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Motivation can be very hard at uni as its so different to school/college. And its normal to find the first month the hardest. That one of the reasons I didnt go. You seem perfectable capeable of doing the work as well. Go home for Xmas and see how you feel afterwards. A lot of people on here have dropped out etc and have more experience of uni then me.

    And you are in no way ever a waste of space.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why don't you attack uni like a job. Go to campus for 9, stay til 5. Which means you're in lectures, and between lectures you're working, like writing up lecture notes, or reading round the subject.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fiend_85 wrote:
    Why don't you attack uni like a job. Go to campus for 9, stay til 5. Which means you're in lectures, and between lectures you're working, like writing up lecture notes, or reading round the subject.

    Thats is acually a good idea if you like the fixed hours things. Worth a try.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That's what I'd suggest as well. It is harder to do than in a usual job because you don't have anyone breathing down your neck to get back to work....

    Good luck Shy, I hope you pull through this funk.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i have a similar issue, lack of motivation in my final year after being on a placement and working everyday.. i have done most of my coursework this year the night before, and luckily got good grades! (so far)

    exams went ok, but i messed one up quite badly :(

    when i start back in january i have to pull my finger out on my final year project. So i plan to go to campus atleast 3 times a week from 9-5 (most likley 11 til 7), but ill not promise 5 days as it wont happen and i gotta leave a day or so for hangover recoveries :D

    this is my plan, and im confident it will work.. try something similar :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Uni's very difficult to maintain motivation and a standard schedule through. You can't say I'll work 9 - 5 on uni stuff and then enjoy the rest of my time etx because of travelling to and from lectures. Those annoying hours off between lectures that end up disappearing with going for a quick drink and snack and suddenly it's time for the next lecture and so on.

    You've also got no one really on your back. Parents aren't around to send you to your room to do homework, lecturers don't really care if you hand a piece of work in on time or not etc. It's a very different way of life to what you're used to.

    Towards the end of term I think everyone gets tired and de-motivated as well. Keeping concentration levels high through 12 weeks of term is a nightmare when there isn't a break.

    Just go back in January and try and get back into everything and make a fresh start.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    As people of said, you are not a waste of space. I have a similar problem to you at the minute and I'm half way through my second year where it starts to become more of an issue. In the first year I missed hardly any lectures or seminars and I have managed to do the same this year (so far). You have to force yourself to do it sometimes. For me the half an hour walk to uni doesn't help. My problem comes with motivation to do reading and get stuck into assignments.

    I agree 100% that a solid regime of hours, whether its 9-5 or 9-3.30, helps alot, more than I realised. At uni this is completely removed because they expect you to be self motivated (which to be honest for most 18-21 year olds is wishful thinking). A love of your subject might help, but studying accounting myself I wouldn't know much about that, lol. Fiend_85 might be on to something with the going into uni at set times whether you have lectures or not so try that, I might even try it myself! As for effort I only tend to put any in when it counts, for assignments and exams, and so far it has worked. You just have to think, this is for my benefit, for my future, and once I have done this assessment I'm one step closer to my degree! Uni tends to go more quickly than you might think so you might as well make the best of it while your here!!

    As for the sadness, I totally get where you're coming from there aswell. I went through a particular 'down' patch a few weeks ago. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do after uni (and I'm still not) and I was struggling with some of my work (among other problems). But I seemed to pull out of it. I find getting away helps if you can. Helps if you have a car like me. I can just drive home for the weekend and have a break away from uni and try to relax and get my head around things. It also helps if you have other things to occupy your time. It seems from what you have said that having commitments motivates you. Do you have any societies at uni? I've joined the go-karting society this year because it was cheaper than I thought and I've met some characters as well as getting me away from uni work every now and then. Next year I might even join a sports club! lol.

    As for friends I'm in much the same boat as you. I don't tend to have a 'group' (other than my house mates) but I kinda enjoy having lots of different friends around that I can say 'hi' to when see 'em. You might find that asking people what they are doing at the weekend or that night might get you invited if you sound interested in it. I don't go out that often, but I tend to prefer staying in anyway.

    Don't worry about working 'hard'. Most people at uni don't work hard relative to a full time job anyway. I was quite surprised when I got to uni that I found most people don't put that much effort in.

    If you have any concerns just go and see your personal tutor. I'm lucky in that mine is very good, he's always around when I want to go and see him and he gives good advice. He also takes a lot of my lectures and seminars so I see him a lot anyway.
Sign In or Register to comment.