Home Sex & Relationships
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨

Sorry, some more of that 'gay' stuff again :o)

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
"Under the Sexual Offences Act, 1967, sexual contact between men is permitted only if both men consent, are 18 or over, and it takes place in private with no one else present."

Can two guys hold hands or kiss in public legally? How do people feel about this themselves - would you mutter and stare, think it's a good thing, or not think anything of it?
«1

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It is still technically illegal for men to kiss each other in public, but that may change later this year following a government review. I hope it is changed, cos the laws are about two hundred years old, and frighteningly out of date.

    Why would any modern person have a problem with seeing a gay couple holding hands or kissing? I think it's cool, and it's not like they're hurting anybody. Quite the opposite in fact.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I really really hope that what I'm going to say here, wont be taken the wrong way by anyone reading it...

    but I think that there are still homophobic people in the world, and if they see a gay couple kissing in the street it may lead to attacks related to the fact that these people are homosexual.

    And while I'm not condoning this AT ALL, and what I'm saying might seem like I think gay people shouldnt have the opportunity to express love for their partners in public (which I'm not!), what I'm actually trying to say is that what we should do is try and educate people as to why they shouldnt be prejudiced against homosexuals. It would be a difficult task, as its most probable that these people have been brought up to have a homophobic view, maybe we can catch the next generation before they begin to think in such a way.

    Or maybe, (since everyone is entitled to their opinion), we should educate people so, even if they are homophobic, they dont act upon it. If you know what I mean.

    Ooh, dear me - I'm knackered after all this thinking....

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    p.s. I kind of got off the track there, because all I meant to say was that I think it would be a good thing - it strikes me as being freedom used in the best possible way.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ok I may offend some people hear without meaning to aswell. If I saw 2 gay people really kissing like there is no tommorow then I would feel very uncomfortable. 1, because I am straight and to me it's not natural.
    2, because you just feel aukward anyway.
    However I would say the latter for straight people to. I think although to me it's not natural, if a gay couple want to show their effection in the same way a straight couple do, then they should be able to coz it would be like prejudice not to let them. I think that the bit about both concenting and being 18 should stay the same. There are lots of gays in my city and at 16 alot of lads[not all] are still unsure of their emotions, so do things not knowing what they are doing and regret it. At 18 you are more mature and are alot more sure of your sexuality in general, so can go into things knowing that you are gay.
    I am sorry if I sound anti gay but I'm not really. I am a christian though and it's a difficult topic for me to sound neutral, hope I did ok.

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hmmmm, interesting views here. The law as it currently stands is crap; in public actually includes in a hotel, or someone elses house, regardless of who can actually see you, which is just mad. I know that seeing two guys kissing can make some people uncomfortable, but that's cause you just don't ever see it happening. Ever think how frustrating it must be for gay people to see all those boys and girls making out in the park or wherever yet they cannot even hold their partners hand? That's not fair, and the sooner we start to challenge this view the sooner it will become and everyday occuarnce without rasing any eyebrows or fists.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I am gay and like pauldnh, I still think it is unnatural. If I had the choice I would not be gay because of the homophobic society we live in. However, I believe that gay people should challenge oppression but not in an overwhelming way - just to make the point that gay people are here like straight people.

    I am training to be a youth worker and as a volunteer I am kind of employed by my local council. I am seen as a role model to other young people and so can't be open about my sexualtiy - especially because of Section 28!

    However, as youth workers pn my course and my collegues, we must all remain neutral and not give hints either way about our sexuality - be it homo, hetero or bi. This I think is extremely good practice as it is not promoting homosexuality (whatever 'promoting may mean!)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    People always discuss how uncomfortable it is to watch two gay people going at it. But is anyone really comfortable watching a straight couple going at it?! I'm not talking in the movies...I'm talking walking in the park and you see two people all in a tongue tangle REALLY sharing a "moment." Shouldn't they just get a room?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My other post actually said that I was uncomfortable with both really going at it. I think people should respect that not everyone wants to see them goin for it, wheather it be two men or a straight couple.

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think it's really sad to consider yourself unatural as you'll only get older with a massive inferiority complex that'll make forming lasting relationships with anyone really difficult. This whole 'let's just creep about so we don't offend anyone with our sexuality' thing is so not going to change people's attitudes. Not that shoving your gayness down someone's throat is good either, but being afraid of just being oyur natual self is sad and means that young people who look to you for guidance in years to come will always think that being gay is as godd as being given a life prison sentence.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think tat if gays or lesbians want to kiss and hold hands that is up to them. Sure u will get the odd couple looking at u thinking ' dirty sods ew that is disgusting' but people say that at straight people kissing. I remmeber when i was 13 I was in the park and theer was this straight couple kissing and I shouted get a room. I would thibnk nothing of it now sitting in the park kissing my boyfriend. I also remmebr walking down the street and thses two guys had the hands in each others pockets My cousin shouted out gay lords and my Dad told us not to look! I cant belive I used to think being gay was wrong. I am straight and If u r gay u r gay and there is nothing wrong with expressing ur feelings.Gay people have feelings too and we should not treat them like something which has a label but a young person who has feelings for the same sex.Unfortunatly people have a idea that being gay is wrong and people all over the world are racist. Whether they are racist about colours, thin, fat, tall, short, blonde , dark haired, sexuality whateva it should not matter because we r al the same underneath and we all want to show feelings the same as anybody esle.
    I think that the fact that u r christian should not really matter. If u think that gay is ok say it dont hide.
    seeya soon and e-mail me beth
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm soory but the bit about if you are a christian not mattering is totally incorrect! It clearly states in the bible that there is nothing wrong with having feelings with the same person. But having sex with the same person is wrong! As they say God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and steve. You may not agree but most religions have the same opinion so saying it does not matter is rubbish. I feel that gay people should not be persecuted, God says a sin is a sin so a person having sex with a person of the same sex, is no worse than commiting adultery or lying or killing. You may not agree but that is your own choice. Ifyou read the bible then it will tell you, so please don't say it does'nt matter coz it does.

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    "Having sex with the same person is wrong"?

    So you mean threesomes...??

    Hmmmm, the bible is getting kinkier, it seems....
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    At the risk of dissing your religion, relying on various phrases from the bible is not the most relibale way to assess whether something is right or wrong. The Christian bible is jam packed with contradictions including 'Love thy neighbour...' or 'do unto others etc etc...' which don't seem to include 'except if they are gay, in which case treat them like scum.' I always thought that the essence of Christianity was to provide a framework for normal people to live with and respect each other, not to use it as means to bash people over the head just because we do not like their point of view or lifestyle. Seems to me that religion is one of the biggest causes of conflict on this planet; it should be up to us as the new generation to try and turn this around.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ok I can't leave this one alone. "Love the sinner, hate the sin" that is a motto christians use. It's biblical that being gay is NOT WRONG, but having sex with another person of the same sex IS. So my friend the bible says npwt about treating everyone nice exept gay people. Anyone who does that is wrong! You non religeous people think there are two sets of rules, one for religions and one 4 u. If I swear or shag around, or call a gay person then I am sum horrid person who should know better. But you can do whatever the hell you like and get out of it by sayin that your not religious. The fact that sociaty lives by most of the ten commandments shows that at least we are trying to keep things ok. It's all these people who just wanna put the blame on someone else that causes all the bloody trouble.
    I must add that this is not a personal go at anyone on this site, it's just the world in general. I think we best leave the religion alone 4 now coz I don't wanna fall out with anyone.

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey Pauldnh

    You can't bring up religion to win an argument, THEN say 'I don't want to discuss it any more'. Religious texts were written by the hands of people, not the hands of the gods, thousands of years ago. They often contradict themselves, and also contain the prejudices of the people that wrote them. You can use bits of any religious books to support just about any argument you can imagine - that's just too easy! There are lots of things in the bible that are utterly irrelevant to modern life, society has moved on in the last 2000 years and clinging word-for-word to the few homphobic bits that suit you just isn't on. Why don't you just admit that you are frightened of gay people, instead of hiding behind a book?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry I only said it coz I did'nt want a load of hate male and this getting out of hand. Ok I take the point of some stuff not being relavent, but the for example the new testament says that some things in the old testament are out dated. It does explain itself and it DOES NOT CONTRADICT ITSELF. If you read it properly then you will see that, but most people don't bother so they say incorect things. You obviously did not read my other posts or you would realise that I am not scared of gay people! I know a few and they are nice people, all I said is that in my opinion it is not natural. I would think that with or without the book. I don't hate any gay people, I just don't like THE ACT! I have no problem with the person.

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Actually Paul I have read the great book in much detail, had to cause i went to a very religious school, and i know it is full of contradiction and hypocricy. To be honest, when people start quoting stuff from the bible I tend to react to them in the same way as if they said that they believed in Santa Clause or pixies living in their garden. You do not need a book of rules to tell you how to live your life - that to me is a huge cop out as surely we need to take responsibility for our own actions and make our own choices in life...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Not natural, not natural! Wearing deodorant is definitely not 'natural', computers are definitely not 'natural'. Why don't you make a fuss about things like that instead?

    Whether gay sex is natural or not is a matter for debate. I think it probably is natural. All this love the person, hate the act stuff gets on my nerves, it's just homophobia in a different wrapper, regardless of how you try to dress it up.

    [This message has been edited by RedEd (edited 26-06-2000).]
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    To me the book is just a guide on how to go about living your life. I mean you can't deny that if everyone followed the 10 commandments then the world would be a very happy place. The fact is we don't, but anyway, I guess this is the bit you may not understand. God is very real to me, as real as my computer or my own dad. I talk to him[pray] and I feel he guides me to make the right decisions, so it's not just a matter of following a load of rules in a book. I don't always make the right decissions coz I have free will.

    With or without the book and all the religion, I don't think being gay is natural but a gay person would say the same about me being straight. It's all about perspective on life. I am not homophobic, I really am not and I do not try to force my opinion on anyone. You say you have read the bible in depth and you still think there are lots of contradictions. Well I respect your view and do not comdem you for that, just like I don't comdem gay people for being gay. I agree that there are alot of christians in the world who preach one thing and say another, so I don't blame you for thinking God and all that is a pile of s**t. I'm sorry if I came across wrong in the first place but you have no right to tell me that I'm hiding behind a book or stuff like that.

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Pauldnh:

    I don't think being gay is natural but a gay person would say the same about me being straight.


    erm actually )yay, it's me - the original topic poster - it got a flaming symbol - wow!!!) i'm gay and i would NOT say sraight people are unatural - i really hate a fight against an 'ism' or phobia(sexism, racism, homophobia...) that goes too far the other way - music awards for black music, where music awards for only white music would be classed as racist, women who think that men have been @ the top for too long and that they should stamp on men ... they don't want to be equal. Homosexual people who think str8 men and women are unnatural are just plain annoying - stupid words like 'breeders' just serve to split up the two sets of people even further. At the end of the day i'm no different than you, except that @ the minute i'm very happily in love with a guy. (I know 99% gay guys will tell me i'm a party pooper, but while i think something like a pride march is all very nice for a laugh and a party, i think it serves to yet again strengthen the split between str8 and gay people. "Here i am, i'm gay, i'm different to you and i have my own party and march that's not for str8 people" - not the right attitude methinks ...)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Totally agree Happy, I think any gay person who says that str8's are unatural or who try to pigeonhole them in some way is just as bad - I would certainly never do this, some of my best friends are str8 (joke!). Paul mate sorry if you are offended by my comments about your religion, but if you feel I have no right to say that to you then surely you must see that you have no 'right' to spout such offensive crap about gay people?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Eh? What offensive crap! Give me one quote which prooves that! I said the thing about gay people thinking straight people are unatural, because the gay people I know have told me that. I realise that not all gay people think that and I'm sorry for not saying that before. I'm really not coming accross well I am!

    Well anyway come on what offensive crap, and I mean what I have said, not what you read into what I've said!!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Er, how about the bit where you said that gay sex was as sinful as committing a murder? That bit offended me, and I'm pretty thick skinned...

    Ed
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No no no no no. A sin is a sin and I gave murder as an example. Lying to a person is as bad as killing someone in God's eyes. You are taking things the wrong way, and trying to make me out to be some gay hater!! Just stop it I don't hate you!!!!!

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just for the record, I'm straight. You just assume too much about people don't you.

    Ed
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Actually I'm just getting really fed up of people telling me what I think and what my views are. Some of you SEEM to be just picking at little things, and are being too sensetive about stuff. You just don't seem to be very good at people dissagreing with you. I have given my view and been totally honest on this issue, and I think you need to accept it. I've accepted your views and respect you for them, why can't you just do the same!

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ok, this is going to go on and on forever, simply because THERE IS NO RIGHT OR WRONG HERE. Everyone's entitled to their opinion, and because religion is very difficult to either prove or disprove then this arguement will go on foever. No-one is going to change their minds here, so can you all agree to disagree?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That would be wonderful! I think if this goes on much more then were gonna hate eachother! I agree to disagree.

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think that gays are perfectly normal ppl!!! just have a different sexuality!!! we have our own opinions but i think it would be much better if this place is peaceful!!! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/wink.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Personnally i think gays are disgusting and wrong. If people think that being gay is right then how do gays justify the presence of women on earth. And when they try and justify it by saying it happens in nature as you get gay sheep etc.. but animals kill there weakest young and often kill animals in the same species, so does this make it right to kill other people? humans have the common sence to look at life and realise what it all about. But hey, everyman to himself
Sign In or Register to comment.