what do i do?

Former Member

hey every1
I'm going to meet my "friend" from school, me and him chat loads on msn and that and the thing is i really really like him, we did go out when we was young but that was when we was like 17.. But after that we remained good friends and we was close until we strarted uni..

I dont know if he feels the same way. But I would love to find out, and I want your opinions on what I should do when we meet up. He has asked me what I want to do when we meet up.
I have no idea I'm really shy now I'm going to be a bag of nerves and I dont want that to happen.

Former Member

When you fancy a friend it's really hard to get up the courage to tell them because you don't want to risk messing the friendship up. But if you like someone as much as you seem to like this guy, then I think it's a risk that has to be taken. And if I'm honest, in my experience it works out ok if it's a good friend. Think about it logically, what are you saying to someone when you tell them you fancy them? You're saying "I think you're the greatest guy (or girl) I know." And what kind of friend would choose to lose a friend over a compliment? I hope that makes you a bit more confident about going for it.

As for what to do about it, instead of working yourself up into a bag of nerves I'd say get on and get it over with. Either he's going to feel the same way or he's not, and spending weeks agonising about what you should do and what he might say aren't going to get you anywhere. A friend of mine wanted to ask out a good friend of his, and he kept waiting and waiting for the perfect moment, but it never arrived. In the end he just sent her a text and got his answer, and you know what? If he'd just done that in the first place he'd have saved himself so much heartache wondering about it for so long.

Someone on here posted a text message that I thought was really good:
'I'm gonna kill myself for saying this but lying here thinking. ive realised that i still have strong feelings for you and i dont know what to do bout it! x'
Or if that's a bit blunt for you, you could go for something more like "You know when we meet up over Christmas, well I was wondering if you'd like to make it a date. Or not, whichever is cool."

You could meet up with him and suss out his reaction to things like touching his arm when you're talking, but you say you're shy so you might end up not having the courage to flirt really openly with him and even if you did, you might well not know for sure how he feels even after the meeting. I just think that it saves a lot of time and hassle to ask straight out so that you know one way or the other. I hope you get the answer you want!

Former Member

If it's been a while since you last saw him you could just say how much you've missed him in such a way that would give him the chance to say it back the way you mean it or in the friendly-friend way normal friends would.

If he just shrugs it off it might mean he's not thinking the same things as you.. although if you've been chatting on msn all the time that probably wouldn't have the same effect. Hmm.

Ach just go for it, tell him you think you like him more than a friend.. what's the worst that could happen?