Home Work & Study
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨

Behind, and don't know what to do

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
edited March 27 in Work & Study
Hey people,

I'm in my second year of uni, and things are going down hill.

A lot of shit has happened since i've been at uni, and i've hit rock bottom. I've been put on antidepressants and have been referred to a counsellor. However, my appointment for her wont come through for at least two months, and in the meantime i'm getting behind on my uni work.

It's my concentration that is the problem. I HAVEN'T GOT ANY. I've been back for 7 weeks, and have done just three pages of notes for the entire course so far. (I'm doing psychology). I should have done folders full by now, but just can't clear my mind to focus on it.

I don't attend hardly any lectures because i just can't motivate myself, and now i've received a departmental warning. If i don't get my act together im going to be kicked off the course. I really want to snap out of this, but i can't. I'm relying on the counselling to help, but in two months time it might be too late. I don't know what to do. I feel so bad.

:crying:
Post edited by JustV on

Comments

  • JsTJsT Posts: 18,268 Skive's The Limit
    You need to inform your head tutor or somebody as to your problem, your university will be able to help you - but you need to let them know you need the help.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I daren't speak to anyone! It sounds stupid, but i'm just worried they're gunna have a massive go for not speaking to them sooner. I feel crap anough as it is, and i don't want them having a go.

    Not only that, but i don't want to tell them that i'm depressed and things. I feel ashamed that i can't deal with things myself, and feel stupid telling people that i'm not coping. I've told nobody about how i'm feeling except my gp. I worry too much about being judged.
  • JsTJsT Posts: 18,268 Skive's The Limit
    They won't have a massive go at you - they'll probably be relieved you have made contact with them.

    Unfortunately it is one of those situation where if you dont step up to it eventually things will be worse (ie: you'll get kicked out of uni). You might have to swallow some pride but you really need to let someone know.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You need to talk to your tutor, bite the bullet and email them as a starting point, it's a lot easier.

    I know the feeling, although at least my problems were physical so were easier to explain.

    Does your uni have a counselling service? They may be able to help.

    Email your tutor, no one will get at you for not asking for help sooner, they'll just be gladd you ask now.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you both for your replies. I've bitten the bullet and emailed mu head of department. Hopefully he'll get back to me by tommorrow, and things will get sorted.

    I'll let yo guys know what happens.

    Thanks again
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Good luck, I got a bit stressed out but I'm only starting, nothing like you're going through though.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well done.

    If you meet with anyone, write an honest list of what you're behind with and what you've missed before you go. Then you can just hand it over.

    I found that far easier than trying to explain myself.

    (I know, I'm rubbish at facing up to limitations).
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey, I hope you got yourself sorted, and that your department head was nice, which I'm sure they were :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hello again,

    My tutor said he's glad i got in touch with him, and i've arranged to meet with him tommorrow. I think he's going to tell me to take a year out though, which is what i'm dreading, as uni is the only thing i have going for me at the minute.

    I'll let you guys know how it went tommorrow

    x x x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If he does, it really isn't the end of the world. I know it seems it. I'm only a couple of weeks ahead of you in this at the moment. If you hunt down the page a bit there's a thread about dropping out/restarting the year, with some very reassuring stuff on it.

    Good luck with your tutor, be realistic with them about how far behind you are, tell them you're not keen to take the year out, but don't rule it out completely.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Its due to money that i can't drop out.

    I live in a student flat, and if i drop out i wont get my next loan installment, and therefore wont be able to pay my rent. I'll have to move out, and i have nowhere else to live.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Talk to you tutor about all of that. They will know the score with regards to finances and everything like that.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah, your tutor will probably be able to help. I had almost exactly the same in my second year (I ended up with a 2:2 for the year because my department were exceptionally supportive) - they'll help you out with extensions and needing time off and stuff. You'd be amazed how much can be achieved without taking a year out so don't assume they'll insist.

    Good luck. xxxx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey,

    Just thought i'd let you guys know that i went today at 11.30am and spoke to a lady who deals withs mitigating circumstances. I wanted to keep myself really composed, but ended up just bursting into a flood of tears. She was really nice, and told me that i could have an extension on my essays and things, and just need to bring a doctors note in to extend my exams if need be.

    I was totally straight with her and told her that all my motivation has flown right out of the window, and that i'm not coping and she was really supportive. Hopefully i'll get my appointment with the counsellor through soon, and i can get my life on track.

    Thanks guys. I wouldn't have sent the first email if it weren't for your encouragement.

    :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Gla to hear things are looking hopeful.

    Do try and sort out at least some of your academic stuff now if you can, don't pin too much on that counselling session. Set yourself targets and get some of the stuff handed in. You'll be amazed how much of the weight is lifted off your shoulders when you get some of that work out of the way.

    Keep in touch with the person you saw though, let them know how things are looking.

    And don't worry about bursting into tears on them, apparently loads of people do!
Sign In or Register to comment.