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Am I over reacting?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I've been going out with this lovely bloke called Chris for a month now, and he's just spent the week in Norfolk and I've missed him a lot. All week we'e had this plan to go out tonight to a party held by an old schoolmate of mine. A lot of the people who bullied me will be there, and I wanted Chris to come with me to basically stop me feeling like shit. Petty, but it was important to me. He knows how important it is to me, and he also knows that i'm going to say happy birthday to the girl in question, say hi to a few people and get out of there asap to go to the pub which is more his (and my) thing.
I was really looking forwards to seeing him and then i get a text today saying "hey, really not feeling the party, will see you tomorrow instead honey. C xx". I now feel really down cos i don't get to see my boyfriend cos i'm working tomorrow, and a bit pissed off. I sent back a text saying "why should i rearrange my weekend around you, exactly?" Maybe i was over reacting, but he knew how important this is to me, and i feel really let down. Am i being utterly ridiculous?
I was really looking forwards to seeing him and then i get a text today saying "hey, really not feeling the party, will see you tomorrow instead honey. C xx". I now feel really down cos i don't get to see my boyfriend cos i'm working tomorrow, and a bit pissed off. I sent back a text saying "why should i rearrange my weekend around you, exactly?" Maybe i was over reacting, but he knew how important this is to me, and i feel really let down. Am i being utterly ridiculous?
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Comments
But personally I think what he did was kinda out of order, espescially just by sending some text without really giving a reason...
Ring him and say you're sorry about what you just sent but explain how important it was for him to come with you
why didnt he tell u he "wasnt feeling it" when u 1st mentioned it? instead of lettin u down at the last minute?
I sent him an apology text about sending a snappy text, and got one back saying "it's fine, i'll see you tomorrow, have fun tonight C xx" but it hasn't made me feel any better. Now i don't know where i stand or anything. Grrr, feeling a bit mental.
i`d be fuming honey x
But he shouldnt sent it over a text message (bit childish).
But to answer your question; yeah i do.
And I don't mean to sound awful, but why are you going to this do if you don't like the people there? I have to say that it seems you just want to show off your new bloke to piss your old bullies off. I would be annoyed if I was just being treated as some arm candy to spite old bullies, and I wouldn't really want to go either.
not havin a go
i`m just curious as to why you think lettin some1 down at the last minute, via text, without a good reason is ok.....and that she shouldnt get mad/sad/annoyed
The fact that he doesn't want to go is a perfectly valid reason, especially if it looks like he's being taken as either a bodyguard or a bit of arm candy to spite bullies.
I'm not saying those are the reasons, but it would be very easy to feel that they are.
I wouldn't want to go somewhere where it was made clear that bullies would have a go at my girlfriend, I would rather go and do something else.
I can understand why the OP might be narked, but I do think its an over-reaction to feel betrayed.
they have only been together a month! its hardly any time at all to be expecting that much from him. he might not be ready to meet all her mates yet, especially when there would be bad vibes in the air and shes going to see poeple who dont even like her (or used to). he might just not want to bother with all that coz it does sound a bit ridiculous. i wouldnt go to a party for someone who had bullied me. it just all sounds too much!
thats the bit thats gettin me, sure, if as soon as she mentioned it he said "no, i`m not going" but he left it a bit late to tell her IMO
plus i dont think she was takin him as eye candy, i think it was more for support than anything
i get pissed off enough if my mates let me down at the last minute, never mind my fella! haha
i can see where ur coming from, i just think he`s a bit out of order
But since he didn't then I think you'll just have to accept that he doesn't feel up to going - maybe he's tired from being away and just wants to chill. The only alternative is keeping on about it, which will only make you both feel a lot worse. If you really don't feel confident and comfortable going to the party alone then don't go, it won't be worth it. He isn't avoiding you completely, he's suggested an alternative plan... and while it's shitty to tell you last minute and via text he probably felt bad about his change of heart.
i think the least he could have done was phone, explain why he didnt wanna go, and apologise for lettin her down last minute
men eh? lol
i do agree with the whole move on thing though, if he asks, let him know WHY u sent they reply u did, otherwise, just leave it
He's going out with a girl for a month, the party seems like an alright idea but as it comes closer he realises what he's doing, he's going to a party with I assume a load of strangers there and he's only there so the bullies don't annoy you, well seems like a pretty shite party to me so he texted you and said he wasn't feeling it. Yeh he should have called you but that's fellas for ya!
Thanks for everyone's help and replies.
A xxx