girlfriend's jealousy

Former Member

I'm guessing this is quite a common problem but I'm gonna ask for some advice on how to handle it anyway.

I hang around in a group of 4, it consists of my best friend, her boyfriend, his best friend and myself. We're also all workmates and so spend a lot of time together. We're all really close and the friendship is very important to me.

I used to have a casual relationship with the other boy in the group but it fizzled out and now we're just really close friends. The problem is that he has just got into a relationship with a girl who is against our friendship completely. She doesn't believe that we're just friends and she is trying her hardest to break up the friendship. I can see where she is coming from in that if it was the other way round I wouldn't be completely comfortable with the relationship we have but I think she is going a bit overboard.

She went off her head because he crashed on my couch the other night and fell out with him because he picked me and some friends up after a night out last week.

I know this girl because she is a regualr in the bar we all work in and she gets on my bus to uni every morning and until now we always chatted to each other but now suddenly she looks the opposite direction when I get on the bus and ignores me at work. I want to make the effort with her because despite the fact I do't like the attitude she is taking towards me I don't want it to be awkward when we bump into each other.

I guess more than anything I'm scared of losing this friendship, it means a lot to me and even now I feel lonely because I'm scared to call or text him incase she is there because she falls out with him for it, I guess I'm even a bit mad with him for letting her take control like this. I'm jsut waiting for the inevitable to happen and her to make him choose between us. I guess I jsut need some advice on how to handle the whole situation.
Thanx and sorry its such a long post!

Former Member

I had this problem a while ago. Try and talk to him about it, i don't know if youve mentioned what she's like with you, although you two have clearly talked about what she's like with him. Maybe ask him if this is going to affect your friendship in any way. At the end of the day, even if she does make him choose and he (unfortunately) chooses her, the relationship isn't going to last long if she gets arsy about him having female mates and he'll come back with his tail between his legs.

Former Member

AmsyBamsy wrote:

I had this problem a while ago. Try and talk to him about it, i don't know if youve mentioned what she's like with you, although you two have clearly talked about what she's like with him. Maybe ask him if this is going to affect your friendship in any way. At the end of the day, even if she does make him choose and he (unfortunately) chooses her, the relationship isn't going to last long if she gets arsy about him having female mates and he'll come back with his tail between his legs.

We have spoken about it a lot! he tells me everything she says and stuff and I've told him how I feel about it all. I wanted to chat to her about it but he said that I can't because then she'll just get mad with him for telling me in the first place.

Its just a tough situation all round especially because we've got so many gigs and trips booked already, I mean we're going to paris together in a couple of weeks and shes so mad about it! but its been booked for months, its like she expects him to drop everything and run for her!!

Former Member

I hate to say it but their relationship sounds a bit fucked, tbh. He's scared of you saying something because SHE'LL get angry? Has he mentioned about possibly "dropping everything" and running for her? or about he feels about her being possesive?

Former Member

She shouldn't have any control over his friends, but its his fight, not yours. He's right- you shouldn't get involved, you shouldn't say anything, because anything you do say will make her feel that you are hiding something. It's not your fight, its up to him to stand up to her and tell her where to go.

I don't know whether he will feel able to do that though. There's a good chance he may have to choose between you.