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I suck at sex
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Not really. But sometimes I almost get that feeling. I have never made my girlfriend orgasm. The only thing keeping me from feeling completely useless is knowing that she's never had one from anyone.
I like to say I know what I'm doing, because I get all good signals for a very long time. I know plain sex isnt gonna cut it so I do take the time to give her head and its great. She starts grinding herself into my face after 5 or 10minutes, and she really really looks like she's enjoying it, but soon after that she'll make me stop completely and push me away. I also get it when we have sex for a while, and when I finger her. Eventually she says its too much and it feels too strong or something. So I tried going really slowly or softly or whatever, but it doesnt seem to work; it's like she wants no contact at all as soon as she gets to that point.
I've talked to other guys about this and no one has really given me any advice on it at all. I've spent hours and hours trying different things and thinking about it biologically and looking at it from every angle and I just dont know whats going on from my male stance. I know her cumming is entirely possible and it's a matter of me doing something but I'm completely out of ideas and I've lost so much confidence over this and it just seems like its getting worse and worse...
I know this is probably one of the most common questions asked but I've read them all and I'm still lost. If any girls out there know what I'm talking about, or have any suggestions, please help me out
I like to say I know what I'm doing, because I get all good signals for a very long time. I know plain sex isnt gonna cut it so I do take the time to give her head and its great. She starts grinding herself into my face after 5 or 10minutes, and she really really looks like she's enjoying it, but soon after that she'll make me stop completely and push me away. I also get it when we have sex for a while, and when I finger her. Eventually she says its too much and it feels too strong or something. So I tried going really slowly or softly or whatever, but it doesnt seem to work; it's like she wants no contact at all as soon as she gets to that point.
I've talked to other guys about this and no one has really given me any advice on it at all. I've spent hours and hours trying different things and thinking about it biologically and looking at it from every angle and I just dont know whats going on from my male stance. I know her cumming is entirely possible and it's a matter of me doing something but I'm completely out of ideas and I've lost so much confidence over this and it just seems like its getting worse and worse...
I know this is probably one of the most common questions asked but I've read them all and I'm still lost. If any girls out there know what I'm talking about, or have any suggestions, please help me out
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Comments
I think instead of pushing you away she should tell you what she would prefer you did.
it took me aaaaages for my first boyfriend to make me cum and he eventually did it through oral but there was a lot of communication needed and for me to be in a good place psychologically and think it was gona happen so it would.
i think you'll just have to ask her what she likes etc. so you know or get her to masturbate infront of you so you sorta know how shes turned on if that makes sense?!
If she finds it easier to orgasm through masturbation why not ask her to show you how she likes it? Orgasms don't always have to come from penetration you know. Never be afraid to experiment in bed, does she have a vibe you could explore with? If you pay more attention to her clit it will not only improve sex but could even end up with the ultimate goal!
I found that when I first embarked on all this stuff, it was a year or so before I stopped getting the "too much" feeling and had my first orgasm.
There's pretty good communication. But whenever she talks to me during it or whatever (or gives me tips beforehand or afterward) it just means she'll get to that too much feeling faster.
it can be really hard for some girls to relax enough to enjoy an orgasm.
mayb you should forget about the pressure of making her orgasm shes obviously enjoying it so dont worry itll happen when shes ready.
Thanks guys.
la la la
...so anyway, my point is that if you're both enjoying it then there's no problem! I got close with my only girlfriend before, and she wanted to and was really close, but the closer we got the more sensitive she got. She even tried touching herself with me caressing / kissing her gently but it didn't work.
After that we realised that we were focussing far too much on trying to attain an orgasm when we had a great sex life anyway!
Good luck matey
i think maybe you should try this. i know that when my bf is goin down on me and it starts to feel "too much", i ask him to play with my boobs or ask him to do something else as well. it normally feels better then and the feelin of it being too much goes away.