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Yarrr! I have to!! It'll be so much fun. Plus you can introduce me to that weirdo soup. Ahaha.
Alice accepting to go out with you alone is a v good sign :thumb:
Not sure about that. If I asked you out for a drink, would you really say no?
Ok, it wasn't any conviction due, but still...
She seems to be really in stress right now, I should be too. I have to do math examples until tomorrow, test on monday, examination on tuesday and a speech in front of students on wednesday, and 10 next math excercise until thursday in a week.
Hope I am not getting too distracted from my study.
She can be happy, or stressed, can laugh or be pissed, but she seems to devoid of emotions, actually I could not even imagine myself being together with her, as if she does not even fricken now what being in love is, like a roboter.
Gonna find that out soon.
thanks for your replies
I got a call to play footie outdoors on the lawn. What shall I say? It's 20° Celsius out there and I can't tell them no I won't come.
My work ethic sucks, I am just doing what's fun instead of what's good to me.
A friend is celebrating b-day today with 2 other peeps tonight and they rented a motherfucking boat on the Donaucanal for 150-190 people and I of course have to come...
Tomorrow my sister celebrates her b-day and we're going out, moreover there is the Hörspiel Crew in the Club Ost. Contemplating to cancel that.
On sunday nadine is celebrating b-day (they all got to be born in december, just because the parents start cuddling when it's cold outside, tztzt), and we go for a brunch, and in the evening footie again..
I won't have finished any single task and I will make myself an idiot at math presentation, I will fail Physics test and the exam on tuesday, well, I found out I can't do it, because I missed the enlistment, because I was so busy all the time.
It's going downwards, but what the hey...
Alice and I agreed to cancel the meeting yesterday evening, because it's a really stressy week, but I am not doing enough work whatsoever >:/
We postponed it to next week. It's looking good, I am rather sure that she picked up I am interested in her,... hopefully.
Let's see how it works out with lazy, enamorated StrubbleS.
Have a fun weekend, and a cosy, lazy sunday morning, lying on your couch, listening to Café Del Mar, looking at the ceiling and call up random people, ahhh....
Peace!
Then there was something with alice. She told me, she has been to the gynaecologist, and the doc told her she needs a boyfriend in the next four weeks or ....................... (dunno what, maybe she dies, or whatever), and there was my old school collegue Klaus F. a douche deluxe, a real doofus, holding hands with her (they don't even know each other) :mad:
What is this supposed to mean?
Oh, for anyone that cares. In Austria it's usual to go for a big big 1 or 2 week party when you graduate gramma school (it's called Matura Reise, graduation journey or something). On one day we had fancy dressing and there was this boy dressed up as a girl and Klaus was so drunk he did not notice and totally wanted to make out with him/her on the dancefloor...
It ended with him licking and kissing his shoulder up his neck and the guy was laughing his ass off, and all the people were pointing at him. I nearly collapsed from laughter, when I found out that "she" was a dude.
I had a massive fight with a collegue/friend and we haven't talked yet, ugh... Let me get that off my chest as well..
So this guy, Flo, is a really sarcastic and polemic person. You can have a lot of fun with him, but when I adressed him with some personal things of my life he usually made sarcastic comments or laughed over me, or gets in other ways abusive.
For example, when I told him a few things that I fancy Alice, he responded with, "I bet you're just bored from jacking off, so you're looking out for anything female." I told him to shut the crap up, just because he has some deficits and is jealous of others who are able to chat with girls, he doesn't need to let it out on me. He then excused himself, for being a social outcast and a washout, etc. and generally really wearing him down. He does that as excuse for his lame behaviour and to make other feel superior around him. It doesn't work tho, it's just uncomfortable how he beats himself down, as in, "Should I respond something nice to build him up again, or should I just timidly smile and shut up?"
So the last time he got abusive with me, I told him that this is the reason why I have never accepted him as a friend, just as a collegue/mate, and that he really needs to change himself, because his immature behaviour is pitiful, and that I'm not the only one thinking like that. I had a convo with a mutual friend once about him... So he wanted to know who says such things about him, I said I won't tell.... Then he dared that I shall quit talking to him if I won't give him a response... Well, I wasn't going to, so he went offline and we haven't talked for 3 days now -_-
Might be uncomfortable, because he's studying with me, and in my "study-friends"-circle. Moreover don't I put it past him that he might interfere with alice, because he's a jealous prick.
That, and the dream of tonight make me really upset. I don't have my physics handwriting there, so I will fail the test on monday, because I can'T study. I failed the first one already, so I might not be able to finish Physics this year (if you pass 2 of 3 tests you don't have to do the written exam in physics, which is majorly hard). I haven't learned much for my exam in Introduction to chemistry, even tho I prolly won't be able to do it on tuesday, because I totally forgot to enlist myself as a partaker.
I got my speech or wednesday only half done, because I don't understand it -_- (and Flo is in my work group btw.), and I haven't touched a single math example yet. UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....
I need a shower, NOW. then studying.
"I hope you did better in physics (we had test) than me
(note: exam = introduction to chemistry).
She really wrote back
"Physics wasn't particularly grand here either. I hope I pass tomorrow! Well then, hear from you."
I thought about the following: I hope I am not (unwillingly) doing a cold/warm, mixed signals thingy, because I sometimes write her text (just 2 atm alltogether) and called her up twice, but in uni I hardly see her. Maybe just a few words before there is lecture again. It might appear a bit weird, as if I was two seperate people (one through txt etc, and one in uni).
Don't want to leave the impression I'm too chicken to exchange a few words with her. Usually at the weekends we don't hear from each other so it's always a few exchanged words in uni and a mostly a whole evening/weekend of silence.
I hope it's just me, who bothers for nothing.
Thursday:
I was in Math excercises from 4:15pm to 6:15pm and called Alice up afterwards if she fancied a punch. Sounds like a plan, so we met up at Schottenring and drove to Rathaus (city hall) where this biiiig Christkindl market (In austria we believe in the Christ Kind(child) rather than Santa) is. She let me know she was in her track pants, because she've been at a friends to borrow math books, because she has problems in maths, might not be able to finish the math excercises
Ok, so I told her I saw her on Karlsplatz when I drove to uni for maths,... I was a bit in thought, because she has been with that guy, I've seen around her a few times. He does not study with us, and he had a BIT more affection to her than a normal aquaintance, but not a single sign to be a b/f.
She said, she was just meeting up with an old schoolfriend from back home, he's studying physics....
Just an old friend, nothing more :yippe:
Ok, so we had a fab time at the market drinking punch, having real nice conversation, laughed, etc. Then I asked which kind of music she listens to, so I can decide which places I can show her to go out etc. So all's good, we def see each other again. What did impress me, is that she played guitar for 6 years and went jamming with their friends all the time in a studio. "So we always brought a crate of beer along, and jammed in this friends studio for hours."
Well, after an hour and a half our ways parted again and two pecks on each cheek where exchanged.
Yesterday I was reeeeeeeeally lazy and sluggish, but I could convince myself to go out. so I was meeting up with georg, and on the way I wrote alice a text. "Hey, I'm meeting up with a few friends on Karlsplatz, because the architects have a party tonight running. Call me up if you wanna come along."
Of course not expecting anything if she did not want to come (which was expected), I promptly got a text back:
"Oh, nice that you thought of me. Unfortunately I am already back home. I wish you lots of fun tho. xx"
The day was saved :cool: . So I met up with georg, whose day wasn't saved quite yet.
He is in love with a girl, this girl is fucking him. but nothing else. He told me how she blew him in a H&M dressing cabin and when coming up again, looking in his face, she said, "Please don't look at me enamoured like that." Poor fella, he's breaking apart. Her name's Clara and she is a petite, cute, seemingly shy girl, but FUCKS AROUND as if there was no tomorrow. Georg is all the time doing his head in where she could be and fucking with whom and how many at the same time. She even suggested a threesome.
Georg meant in a few months when he is mentally broken we gonna rail clara together... Well let's see. I said, "If that thing with alice fails, we can do that." I was always telling him about the silly sex positions on urbandictionary.com, and this might my first and last opportunity to spitroast a girl with a mate. Hmmm...
WHERE IS MY FUCKING MIND... I shouldn't be thinking of that stuff
Anyhoo. The evening was quite ok, a bit boring. I wasn't quite as drunk as I'd like to be and people around me where staggering, stumbling, stuttering. Nearly ran over by cars. People were breathing me their schnapps-breath into my face, hugging me, running into things and I really disliked the idea to have a first-aid procedure in the middle of the night.
The traffic lights in some areas blink orange if they turn of the lights, so the crossings are like as if there wouldn't be any traffic lights. So I was walking on a zebras crossing and the taxi driver did not stop. No, he fucking ACCELERATED and waved his hand before his face (It's a sign to show someone's stupid, couldn't find it in the dictionary. We call it "Vogel zeigen", which basically means, "to show someone a bird."). :mad: :mad: :mad:
that guy was basically asking for slit tires that night. fucking asshole. NO FRICKEN IDEA HOW TO DRIVE A CAR.
*grrrrrrr* and the evening started out so fine.
Well, I came home at 4am and decided the bad things couldn't outweigh the good things that day, and went happily to bed.
my calculations says around late february and it's usually still pretty chilly then.
but what do I know,...
Mein Name ist Hase.
Sometimes it's really good to be geeky. I always forget how much the fun outweighs the hassle with taking your computer to another place.
Well, my uni work suffers a lot too :P that can wait (my unbought x-mas presents not so much tho ^^)
I had two remarkable dreams of the 3 nights I slept there. It's wicked. I wrote it down somewhere, let me just find and quote it.
I posted the first two already, but the last one is new. Yesterday night I was talking to a friend on msn and she's from another country. I asked her how they greet friends there (not girl/boyfriends), because it really varies from culture to culture. Around here you usually kiss on both cheeks, or if you are very good friends with that person on the lips too (not a snog tho, just a bit more 'moist' than a peck). Usually girl with girl, or boy with girl, (not boy and boy tho), even when the boy/girlfriend is there of one 'participants', it's just a formality.
She said around there they hug or just say hi to friends but no kissing.
So in my dream I am standing with a collegue of uni at the undergruond waiting for the train to come, when she suddenly stands beside me (wtf? she live a thousand kilometres away). I leaned in to give her a peck, but she turned her head away. At this point i knew it was a dream, it was just too.... slap-in-face-ish. It became a bit hazy then.
Hope you weren't expecting some serious profound shit there
StrubbleS needs a shower. StrubbleS needs to - at least - see a girl again, it's kinda no ma'am here :P, StrubbleS needs a trip to the spa to get that tensed back in order again, StrubbleS needs to by x-mas presents, Strubbles.....
needs food, mhmm..... *roams around*
Dreams are fun but don't look too much into them. Mine are just a mishmash of the day usually
yeah... I think my subconsciousness wants to trick me out and give me false images of reality. DAMN you brain! I must destroy thee with beer tonight!
I thought you tidied your room already? I will just once again send you pictures of this LAN here. In comparison your room looks like the president suite of the Hilton Hotel.
ttyl, rach.
ps. i hope you listened to the gerbails already
Small spirits need tidiness, the master rules over the chaos
KoG
Nothings better if you write a sms to a person you like and get a quick response
wrote to alice, "hello, what's new over there? Hope you are spending your holidays nicely. I am 4 days straight at a friends myself and no work for uni done yet :P Hope you are fine, love matt."
I of course did not really write her "love", but "liebe grüße" which is nothing more than "nice/lovely greetings", but the dictionary's forsaken me.
Not more than a minute and the response, "Yeah, I am ok, thanks! I'm at the moment at the ski-world cup in upper austria. quite neat, but really cold! university-related no work done yet... but soon.!"
Mhmmm... I have a real good feeling about that
We were just collectivly watched porn on the LAN and it's a real connecting experience. Joking around and swapping experiences and opinions of any filthy kind :P
Gotta need to play Deathball with my homey G's :P
tomorrow the LAN will end....
chill out doods.
He told me it's fucking with his head, when he had a 'fight' with her on ICQ she kind of said, "well, then we better let that be." and was offline. He told me he was shivering and crying half through the night. WTF?
Well I was suggesting to go drive through vienna, have a fresh kebab and a can of beer and drive home again for the time being. So we did that. He seemed to be happy again, because Klara called him up and said she's coming around the next day. Jesus, he's dependend like baby. I hope he can somehow get outta there, even tho he won't yet, and nobody can help or convince him otherwise.
Haha... He told me too, when he is drinking with his father. His 'rents are divorced and he has a weird relation to his father, mostly get fuckin sloshed with him. So this one evening his father was asking him:
dad, "why are you so silent, is something not ok?"
g, "well, it's because of my concubine?"
dad, "WHAT? you have somebody beside your girlfriend?"
g, "No, I don't have a g/f, but I am just screwing with her."
dad, "holy damn, I thought you weren't a man for just a few nights?"
g, "It's ok, we are mostly fucking around afternoon."
heh...
Well, so then I was talking a bit about Alice, that she was in upper austria working at the ski-worldcup. She might be at home in krems again today, so I pondered if I should drive up there to see her. I asked georg how I can manipulate him so he would give me a lift. "you pay the gas and we are cruising." Alright...
So I am going to buy my x-mas presents today. I will make it ultra cheap, because I'm really short on money. My father gets the first Jack Johnson album, because that's totally his thing and because JJ is a good musician anyway. and my mother listens to that crappy spring, flowery bird chirp, hammond organ chill-out music, which sucks. So I get her a Café Del Mar CD, which is the definition of chill-out.
Have to think for my sisters tho. Hmmm...
Well, afterwards I'm going to call up alice and inform myself about her position. If she's in krems (lower austria) again, I'll bribe my main man Georg and we're hitting the road.
Persuade someone to drive you for an hour to somewhere and an hour back afterwards just to have a few beer with a girl is pretty much up there among other things that seem to scream, "I WANT YOU!!!"
I was tipsy yesterday, so I will re-think my plan today.
Have a nice one, dudes and dudettes.
see ya around.
"oh hello."
"Are you back in Krems already?"
"yeah, just came back home today. phew..."
"heh, fine... Hey what I wanted to ask you, I'd have opportunity to drive to Krems tomorrow and I thought right before the christmas holidays I'd like to see ya once again and go out for a couple beer, what do you say?"
"Hmmm... yeah, that's fine, when would you be there?"
.
.
.
FUCKING SCORE!!!
:thumb: that's what we like to hear.
Amen brother.
After all the people losing girlfriends/boyfriends recently, it's nice to see someone making progress!
I will resist the temptation to make the obvious sausage joke.
There are 4 possible outcomes:
Mhmmm... This has to work.
Isn't your friend driving you down though?
I just had a phone call with her. She asked me when I will be in Krems then. I said, well probably around 7, because I thought it's a good time to go out.
Downside is, the last train back goes at 9pm already. She does not want me to come out to early, because she has to study, and do some shopping. Well, did not want to come too early eitherwise. What to do in a little town like Krems, when the sun is still shining :razz:
So I said I could come out at 8 or 9 pm and we stay out for longer. The first train comes at 4:52am so I could take this one too.
She rather supported the idea of coming out at 6 and going back with the 9pm train -_- life makes you miserable if you live with too much expectations :P
Might be really better tho. What are you going to talk and do for around 8 hours :P Nobody can speculate that you are doing more "interesting" things after the first few hours :razz:
Let's just see how it goes. Might need some luck here tho.
You'll know at 8.45 weather you should stay or go i'm sure....
When I ate my mothers delicious Gulaschsuppe (clicky) I had the same thought
Girls are just more whizz than us
Thank you...
/edit:
she said we could either stay in the city, or go to a friend of her who has a singstar-party... you know that PS2 Karaoke game. I don't know. I have a voice like a lawnmower and I really really don't want to sing, but nor being the party-pooper :P
guess I rather stay in da ciddy.
i
But if you go out to a party your far more likely to miss the last train home..........
... and have to sleep at the trainstation then :P
Gonna leave in 10 minutes...
I'm a bit nervous, but I think that is needless to mention.
See ya tomorrow.
She showed me Krems, a nice town btw. maybe not the last time I've been here. She did not drink anything, because she was driving (she lives 7km from the train station). Nice conversation, like always... but... ergh.
Am I not assertive enough to show her I like her, or is it just her, who does not show me, she's not interested in me in that way?
How do you show a girl clear without ambiguity that you fancy her without being intrusive?? I told her I was thinking about her last time we've been to friends in their sound studio jamming. Because we took a crate of beer there and were just jammin with different instrument... which wasnt true :P I just wanted to show her i was listening last time when she told me how she went jamming with her friends back in the days (she played guitar), and how they brought a crate of beer along as bribery
I mean, a guy takes a drive of 1 hour to a place just to see you, one hour train ride back, just to stay about 2 and a half hours for YOU and you don't get the clue?
I guess I shift a gear up and try some kind of "all or nothing"-action. I am pretty clueless, I think it's just another case of unreturned affection.
If I only knew how to make progress... girls of thesite, give me suggestions!!!
georg is going on my nerves for his laptop so i write more when im at home or so..... oh and i have aq pic of her... she's the left one. she's pretty fancy here, was on her local ball.
hear from you later -_-
*deep in thought*
Since I am a bit clueless how to go on from the situation now, I will just play with open cards, tell her what I think and hope for the best.
"I don't know if I conveyed thoroughly enough that I feel more for you than friendship, but I feel a tad lost because I neither come across acceptance nor rejection with that. If you'd tell me what you think about that, however, it would probably help me."
So I just cancel out any misinterpretation-mistakes I'll make in the future. This is my usual tactic (and usually failed :P) but I'm not the man for the fragile game or courting. I hope I don't ruin anything I could've achieved with patience.
It is ironic that I get from time to time, that I am good-looking (without "what do you think?" when they see a picture of me :razz: ), so honest opinions about that. Hey, I even got a "heck, I'd date you on the spot!". Maybe I am not careful enough with who I choose to fall for
It starts to mess with my head, so I will just upfront ask her that, in a confident, not "omg, pliizz love me back."-way. I just hope I get a definite answer like "Well, I was thinking about it too, and ...." or "No way, sorry Matt.", not something like "uuuhh, I dunno... hey let's <changes topic>."
Out of consuetude I expect something negative, but what they hey, before I struggle any longer. Is it really possible to speak of misfortune? It seems funny that it never works, almost like picking a fruit and you always pick the one with the worm in it.
ahhhhhh, stop the whining strubbles, you can do better than that!
*quarrels with himself*
If not I either tell her that I have a crush on her and see how she thinks or just give up about it. This is pointless...
Called up alice, nobody picked up... I was getting ready to leave with my dog when my cell rings. The number's supressed, but I know it's alice.
So I walk back into my room, close the door, and have this phonecall with her.
Speaking confident like always, veiling the fact that I was sitting there before for half an hour with my cell phone in my hand contemplating to press "call" when I chose her number out of my phonebook. My pulse was like a machine gun, I obviously planned something. Maybe thought it through a number of times,... I was prepared.
I was just talking with her how her workdays have been, if she's studying already, if she's back home in Krems already, etc. She asked me a few things too, just a usual conversation. I took a deep breath and whipped out the following:
"Hey Alice, there is something I wanted to tell you. It's been 3 or 4 weeks now where I really tried to show you that I have a crush on you and I am a bit fidgety because I can't feel any way of positive of negative feedback. I just wanted to know how you think and feel about that."
Her voice becomes fainter and milder, "Oh... erm... I actually thought we are friends."
M, "Oh, I see... Well you are the first girl that I couldn't read whatsoever, I was totally unsure where I stand at you, so I put it so bluntly."
A, "Well, I just got out of a real messy relationship and I really don't feel like I can build up an affectionate relationship right now to any kind of male creature."
M, "Uh-Huh... So in lab back then, when I asked you if you got a boyfriend, you said, 'not quite.' Was that the end of that relationship?"
A, "yes... I think it's better to be upright with you, instead of playing something, because it would be a real shame for you and I do not want to do that."
M, "Yea, you're right... Well no worries, I'm not going to eschew you now in uni or something, thanks for being so honest with me. If I don't hear from you: happy new years eve! probably see you when uni starts again."
"Thanks, and you! bye."
"bye."
Proper turn-downs in 2006: 4
Took it like a champ. No, wait... Played it smoothly like a champ. Guess I'm in the same shock as if you cut off your finger and don't feel the pain yet.
I hate my life.