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what would you think?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
say that someone hurt you badly, someone who's got some mutual friends with you. if none of his friends - also supposed to be your friends - told him that he did something wrong by hurting you, and say that even a friends that you've helped out are ignoring the fact and jus hanging with him like nothing happened, what would you think?
that it's normal - people jus don't want to get involved in ur shit? or that you deserve better mates definitely?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Depends on what happened. Everyone has their owns views, you can't judge them as good friends on that. Maybe if they were spouting their views then they are not such good friends.

    It sounds like you just want everyone on your side so you don't feel bad.

    the guy started going out with his ex without telling me (and we were seeing each other), and pretends that i dont exist. if he sees me he turns round so that he doesnt hav to face me...n though i was hurt, im ok now. but iv defended these freinds before, n stood up for them. if i hadnt i wudnt expect the same courtesy from them..
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That's what you need to tell them then.

    i need to tell them to tell him that he's wrong?? wouldn't your mates do that anyways?..i don't want them "on my side"...i just want them to hav a conscience..
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Are these mutual friends your actual main social/friendship group? Or did you know them through this bloke? Because if it's a case of the latter they may well be closing ranks as mates do, whether their friend is in the right or in the wrong.

    Alternatively, maybe they just don't want to get involved because they don't see it as any of their business. If I was in the position of being one of these mutual friends I'd probably have gobbed off by now, but a lot of people do mind their own and prefer not to stir the shit when it comes to other people's relationships, wrongdoings and break ups. Another possibility is that they don't actually know what happened - if they're more his mates than yours then there is the chance that he's told them a completely different story to what actually happened. My ex who cheated on me told everyone a pack of lies when we split for good; I ran into his sister three weeks after we broke up and she didn't even know we weren't a couple. So maybe if he, like my ex, has a guilty conscience (though he sounds like a twit so that's not necessarily the case...) he hasn't been all that forthcoming with the reasons for your break up and the animosity between you two.

    Whatever it is, it's not worth getting upset and anxious about. It's hard when you realise your ex is a wankshaft and the mates you shared mightn't be true blue friends for life. But if you've already spoken to them and had no real reaction of sympathy or understanding of your feelings on the matter then try and look at it as finally knowing where you stand with them; you don't need "fair weather friends".
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    tinydancer wrote:
    say that someone hurt you badly, someone who's got some mutual friends with you. if none of his friends - also supposed to be your friends - told him that he did something wrong by hurting you, and say that even a friends that you've helped out are ignoring the fact and jus hanging with him like nothing happened, what would you think?
    that it's normal - people jus don't want to get involved in ur shit? or that you deserve better mates definitely?

    depends on what this person did, but don't expect mutual friends to take sides after 2 people had a fight. Actually they would be bad friends then, since the day will come and YOU will hurt someone, and you'd be pretty pissed if the friends walked off then...

    If it wasn't a supercrapalicious thing like stealing your boyfriend (and I am not talking about your b/f breaking up with you and then come together with her, but she making moves on him, liquors him up and fucks him or smth), then you got no right to put your friends to a decision: him/her or me!

    /edit: I have the bad habbit and always respond already after the first post. so update:

    Going out with someone means: two people go TOGETHER, not one forcing the other one to go out.

    So if the person you were seeing went back to him, then she's pretty heartless, but what should your friend do? It's his ex, and if she still loves her and the chance occurs to get together to him it's understandable that he does.
    Sometimes love is competition, and I did in the past make a few steps backwards to have someone other have the girl of interest (if a friend), but it's not really unfair, considering they have been together already.

    grow up man. Stop meeting up with him, if you ain't comfortable but don't force your friends to take sides!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Are most of these friends boys?

    If so then there's quite a lot of boys who'd just shrug and move on as normal, because they don't always think about things like girls do.

    Chances are if you were hurting then you'd maybe have been feeling a bit paranoid about thing anyway? Like it's not that they've taken his side, maybe it's just they're not on anybodys side, but it seems like they're on his side?

    I can see why it's annoying you though.
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