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Comments about sex...
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi,
I guess this is a question for the girls...
Ok... I'm a male, 26 and lost? my viginity when I was 23 but because of the strange relationship I was in at the time, I didn't find sex that good, still neither did she but we did feel it was right to have sex with each other etc. (It's all a bit complex to explain in a sentence!)
I've not slept with anyone else since and sadly haven't dated either, as I'm rather weary of girls now... sad it may sound but the truth it is!
What I find most confusing now and I'm sure there aint an easy answer, is was sex designed to be nice for a guy to? erm... it seems to me that it's a wonderful experience for a girl both emotionally and physically but not for the man?
Men seem to be under pressure to know what to do, where as for the girl, there seems nothing for them to learn and it's somewhat easy for them in bed?
I admit to being pretty inexperienced with girls as I've only dated the one girl mentioned above and have absolutely no luck at attaining dates :-(
I'd appreciate serious comments from the girls please...
Thanks very much,
Ian.
I guess this is a question for the girls...
Ok... I'm a male, 26 and lost? my viginity when I was 23 but because of the strange relationship I was in at the time, I didn't find sex that good, still neither did she but we did feel it was right to have sex with each other etc. (It's all a bit complex to explain in a sentence!)
I've not slept with anyone else since and sadly haven't dated either, as I'm rather weary of girls now... sad it may sound but the truth it is!
What I find most confusing now and I'm sure there aint an easy answer, is was sex designed to be nice for a guy to? erm... it seems to me that it's a wonderful experience for a girl both emotionally and physically but not for the man?
Men seem to be under pressure to know what to do, where as for the girl, there seems nothing for them to learn and it's somewhat easy for them in bed?
I admit to being pretty inexperienced with girls as I've only dated the one girl mentioned above and have absolutely no luck at attaining dates :-(
I'd appreciate serious comments from the girls please...
Thanks very much,
Ian.
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This discussion has been closed.
Comments
Ok.. your answer interests me. You say "I find it quite sexy when confronted by a shy inexperienced man", why... is it a power thing? Surely a man who really doesn't know what to do isn't sexy and is somewhat useless to you?
The thing is if a man don't know what to do, then sex isn't going to be that good, especially for you and definately not for him? Can sex be any good for men? There seems a total imbalance between the sexes and negatively I can't imagine a girl seeing me as sexy! (but then you can't see me!)
Strange comment but do girls really want to be with men in that way? As I mentioned in my original posting, the girl I was with certainly didn't but she said she did... confused!
Thanks,
Ian.
P.S I'm a comp programmer too :-)
Lets put it this way, If you want a dog to do exactly what you want, it's ideal if it has not been trained by someone else.
But that's a cruel way to put it. When your with an inexperienced guy you don't have to remind him upteen times that your not his ex and you don't like it like that. You can tell him exactly what you like and he's less likely to do that wierd thing with his tongue that his last gfriend liked.
Forgive me... but you controlling him seems very selfish? Your answer has just petrified me because it would sound like you'd use a guy?
I've only slept with one girl but I wouldn't take her experience and presume another girl would like the same thing... still I can't say I really learnt anything with her anyhow :-(
I guess I'd fall into your inexperienced guy tray? but I wouldn't appreciate you manipulating me (I had enough of that and pain with my ex!) Without wishing it to sound like a give and take competition, what about the man in all this? Would you want to please him to or is this just a girls domain? In a way your answer is precisely what makes me think sex (in a nieve way) is for women only!!!
Thanks for your reply,
Ian.
P.S You could email me direct if you fancy... what sort of programming do you do?
Certainly, girls have to learn sex as much as boys do. Learning to pleasure yourself is a good way to know what you like, but unfortunately it does not help to please the other sex!
I love being with an experienced man, because he has learned a number of useful things. But (to quote an earlier post) every girl needs other buttons pushed ... so the most important quality of any man, experienced or not, is to be able to communicate, pick up signals, give signals, and plain talk - that way it is easiest to achieve pleasure for both!
What is definitely NOT on my wish list is a man who "knows it all" (or knwos nothing but does not admit it) and has no respect for what I want.
Ok... so why do women get a raw deal from sex, when I seem to think they get the better deal?
Personally I wouldn't want that for whoever I meet... I'd do my best to help and please her , basically whatever she wants... within reason! All I'd want in return was a balance, I'd like to experience sex like she does etc.
I think if you don't mind me saying, satisfaction for a man is not just orgasm. When I experience sex, with the right person, I was hoping for emotional satisfaction aswell as physical and again that it what I'd want for whoever.
When you say that it's pleasent most of the time are you not expecting a lot of the man? I know for women there is more emotional than lust but men can't help if you don't help yourself and of course explain what you need. I'd hate to think whoever would just lie there as if she feels it's her duty. Again this is something I found with my ex and it just angered me, certainly no satisfaction there, on both parts!
Rachael - I suppose a confident women appears quite scary, what about in a man? So at the end of the day, do girls really want to be in bed with a decent man or would they prefer to do it by themselves!? Why do you girls reckon men don't want to please you... anything to do with the time it takes or that it seems harder to please women than it does men?
Thanks all for your replies, one day I'll get hold of the elusive species (to me!) better known as a girl!
Ian :-)
Anyway, inexperience is irrelvant. If you're not sure what she likes, just ask. She'll be only too happy to show/tell u!
I'll be sitting on top when it all goes wrong again
Chocoholic, please don't bring up old topics. This topic was posted nearly 14months ago !! These topics are regarding as 'dead', So if you want to discuss something that is 'dead' you would be better starting a new topic. Thanks!
I'll be sitting on top when it all goes wrong again
So please in future think about others befor you go blowing your top.
he made a point, that most people will agree with.
he didn't post it "to show he was around 14 months ago" because if u used ur fucking eyes and possibly employed one of the two braincells u posess, u'd see he WASN'T around 14 months ago.
if u haven't come across this problem b4, then how does it affect u? if u've got a similar problem, then make a post asking for help wiht it, no need to bring up a 14 month old post.
erm...how is he being selfish? he's just keeping the boards in order...the idea with these boards is taht they are more or less self-policing. and it's just basic etiquette aroudn here not to bring up dead posts.
jst was merely telling a newbie that it's not regarded as polite to bring up dead posts. sorry if u have a problem with that gio.
I'll be sitting on top when it all goes wrong again
I aren't 'blowing my top' I was just stating the my opinion and the opinion of lots of this boards users!
James
BRITISH BULLDOG: <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/flags/uk.gif">
Anyway, for the new ones........
I know i talk so much about this new bloke of mine...kinda mine but Ian i never found things like kissing exciting till i met him, it's really odd!!! Like i can go out sat night and kissing 20 blokes (over exaggerating for ego purposes) and not even care but with him it's like...Wow.....kinda anyway. Does anyone else understand this?
RIGHT IM DONE!!
[This message has been edited by Kat (edited 29-07-2001).]
And there is certainly pressure on the man. I told her I was a virgin first just so she`d understand and I was practically shaking first time cos I was so nervous.
Of course the fact that she was always going on about the different places she`d had sex with her ex`s really didn`t help.
And that thing about not getting alot out of it but feeling like you SHOULD be having sex, I know what you mean dude.
I`m nervous with women too (hell, it`s taken me 3 months just to pluck up the courage to talk to a girl I like at work!). Some people seem to think that they need to be going out with someone just to be 'complete' (?) but I`m perfectly happy just being single and not trying every second of my life to pull someone. (my ex is on her THIRD boyfriend since we broke up a month ago!)
I intend to not rush in to a sexual relationship in the future until I`m completely comfortable with the other person. Just take things at your own speed and don`t do it until you`re both completely comfortable.
Good luck dude.
"Honesty is just an excuse for lack of imagination."
This is why it's stupid to bring up old posts. People start giving advice to the person who originally posted it, even though they're not even around any more to read it, and if it's as old as this one is the advice most likely isn't needed any more.
Sure it's interesting to read a new topic every so often, but unless it's a discussion thread it's a waste of time dragging it up because the poster doesn't need the advice any more. If someone else needs it, they can easily start a new topic about it.
eh to all those i may have offended in my agressive rant the other day, mainly JsT feel free to let a barrage of abuse commence in my direction as my coments were so off the mark it was unbelieveable. i thought that when you said this was posted 18 months ago you meant someoone else had posted a similar topic 18 months ago-which was what i thoguhth was a bit harsh , as most people problems are personal which vary in detail , but as wildchild pointed out, this was posted in may 2000 and all my preious comments were bulls*** as raking it up does nothign but clog up space. i blame oit on newbie inexperince
i shall now crawl back to the samll hol;e that i cralwed out of, and try and control furture outbursts
sorry again