Lame problem but been bugging me for ages!!

Former Member

Hi guys and girls, new to this site. just stumbled across it, filling in summer holiday free time!!

Ok basic problem is that there's this guy i like at the local football team i support. it's only a small club so basically the fans and players etc mingle (not rich premiership stars unfortunately lol). anyway, i know his parents quite well and know a fair bit about him through them and various other people and what ive heard about him i really like and over the past couple of years have had a pretty big thing for him. I'm just coming upto 17 next month and he's 21. i know he's single and not the most obviously attractive person, so not exactly fighting the girls off. the major issue is that ive never had the guts to speak to him basically because even though i dont have an issue with the age difference, i think he might. also im not the most attractive person in the world (not awful but not great) and he's never alone for me to even make a passing comment to him, he's always with some of the other players in the bar after a game. so i dont really have the confindence to approach him but i would love to get to know him coz atm im a bit... im just a bit worried that if i say anything to him it will come out wrong or he'll just laugh at me or ignore me.

So sorry about the novel, but does anyone have any guidance or advice for the best way to approach him/reason to speak to him/getting the confidence to do so?

Thanks guys and girls xx

Former Member

Can you not get some of your girlfriends to come with you to a match, then all go up to them in the pub after the match? It can be intimidating to go up to a group by yourself, but if a group of you go up to them, then it makes it a bit easier, because your friends can distract the other lads attention while you get to know him a bit better. And you've got an obvious reason to go up to them - to congratulate/commiserate them after the match.

Former Member

I'm With Stupid wrote:

Can you not get some of your girlfriends to come with you to a match, then all go up to them in the pub after the match? It can be intimidating to go up to a group by yourself, but if a group of you go up to them, then it makes it a bit easier, because your friends can distract the other lads attention while you get to know him a bit better. And you've got an obvious reason to go up to them - to congratulate/commiserate them after the match.

Ooo yeah that sounds like a good plan.

Don't worry about things coming out wrong when you talk to him, I am always saying silly things (even to people I don't fancy) but it has never done me any harm. Good luck with it all.

Former Member

hmm people have suggested that but im a bit wary of doing it as the vast majority of my mates are (what id consider to be) a fair amount more attractive than myself and i wouldnt really want to put myself in a position to be compared to other people by the guy i like. i wouldnt mind too much going upto him if hes alone but ive had the chance a couple of weeks back and bottled it. im bloody useless :P lol

Former Member

remotebleeper wrote:

Ooo yeah that sounds like a good plan.

Don't worry about things coming out wrong when you talk to him, I am always saying silly things (even to people I don't fancy) but it has never done me any harm. Good luck with it all.

Haha thanks:p

Former Member

if you aint both the prettiest of the prettiest then it there is no problem (because you were stressing it) about it.
If you don't have the guts to talk to him while he's with his peers (which is legitimately), try to catch him alone. Maybe ask him briefly for his number, when his other mates aren't listening...

Just avoid writing txts when he does not gave you his number personally, or don't write letters or something. First, you somehow have to introduce yourself to him.

eh, sorry for the bad advice, I am actually in a hurry
*takes coat and cane and leaves*

Former Member

StrubbleS wrote:

if you aint both the prettiest of the prettiest then it there is no problem (because you were stressing it) about it.
If you don't have the guts to talk to him while he's with his peers (which is legitimately), try to catch him alone. Maybe ask him briefly for his number, when his other mates aren't listening...

Just avoid writing txts when he does not gave you his number personally, or don't write letters or something. First, you somehow have to introduce yourself to him.

eh, sorry for the bad advice, I am actually in a hurry
*takes coat and cane and leaves*

Hmmm I don't think asking for his number straight away is the best idea actually, especially seen as you haven't actually spoken to him yet.

If you can't face talking to him right away, maybe some nice flirty smiles might be in order, then catch him when he's on the way to the bar and tell him you thought he played well, or terrible or whatever comes to your head really.

Ooo I love all this initial flirtingness, its just so exciting :flirt:

Former Member

remotebleeper wrote:

Hmmm I don't think asking for his number straight away is the best idea actually, especially seen as you haven't actually spoken to him yet.

If you can't face talking to him right away, maybe some nice flirty smiles might be in order, then catch him when he's on the way to the bar and tell him you thought he played well, or terrible or whatever comes to your head really.

Ooo I love all this initial flirtingness, its just so exciting :flirt:

yeah right.. my biking tour postponed because of heavy rain, so I am still here. Come to think of it, you are right. Try to somehow get his attention, be it smiles, eye contact or something like that. If you have eye contact and smile to him and he smiles back it's the best opportunity to approach him. Compliment on how he played (except he was all the time on the substitute bench, or he played REAL terrible)... After you had a chit chat with him, you should really exchange numbers tho, since then you'll see if he calls you back, how he reacts to a suggestion to meet up for a cup of joe or smth.

Former Member

Thanks guys and girls. also, do any of you (especially aimed at the older lads here) see a problem with a 21 yr old guy and 17 yr old girl?

Former Member

ChampagneSupernova wrote:

Thanks guys and girls. also, do any of you (especially aimed at the older lads here) see a problem with a 21 yr old guy and 17 yr old girl?

No.

You sound sensible enough, so go for it :yes:

Former Member

ChampagneSupernova wrote:

Thanks guys and girls. also, do any of you (especially aimed at the older lads here) see a problem with a 21 yr old guy and 17 yr old girl?

Not even a little one tbh.

**helen**

ChampagneSupernova wrote:

so i dont really have the confindence to approach him but i would love to get to know him coz atm im a bit... im just a bit worried that if i say anything to him it will come out wrong or he'll just laugh at me or ignore me.

Hi ya, welcome to TheSite :wave:
From what you say above, it seems like you've got the right idea - it's a good idea to get to know this guy, but as remotebleeper said:

maybe some nice flirty smiles might be in order, then catch him when he's on the way to the bar and tell him you thought he played well, or terrible or whatever comes to your head really.

Taking things slowly, but showing a degree of confidence could be the way forward. If he laughs at your or ignores you, you have your answer right there - 21 or not, laughing at or ignoring someone is a sure sign that they're not mature enough for you and probably not worth the effort. If he responds well then you can start to think about moving forward. You might want to think about the following article on flirting

Good luck