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Paying for it?

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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Where are you two getting this bully crap from?

    Don't bother giving me that "Alpha male" bullshit either. If people were meant to act that way we would still be shitting in the woods.

    I would listen to practical advice. Stuff I can use.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Lifeless,

    It seems like you're not feeling too happy with yourself at the moment, and I'm really sorry to hear that - it's not a nice way to feel. I do think you've been given a lot of good advice in this thread, although of course if you feel like you've got problems that have been affecting you for a long time though, you're not going to be able to change the way you feel overnight. It might be worth having a read back through the thread and trying to take it all the way it's meant, as advice from people who want to help you.

    Although the decision to visit a prostitute is a very personal one, as others have said it probably won't give you the answers you are looking for. It won't be an intimate experience, at least emotionally, and might leave you feeling more detached from sex and women in general. Sure, it'll mean you've had sex - but you'll know it was with a prostitute so it might not give you the sense of fulfillment you're after.

    It might be worth taking a step back from the whole sex/women/relationships issue for a while and just think about trying to become more happy in yourself. This article might be a place to start. I know you feel like you're never going to meet someone, and I also know this is a cliche - but you never know when these things are going to happen. If you start putting yourself out there, getting your confidence up, you might meet more people, including girls, and might form a relationship considerably more rewarding than the short-term fix of visiting a prostitute.

    I hope you keep posting on here as lots of people are happy to help you, and I hope you feel better.

    Lucielu
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lifeless, there has been some really good advice here.

    Use it and give it a trial for a few months. Try what people have been suggesting, possibly even get some councelling if your past bullying has been that bad? Not all girls are bad it just seems like you've had bad luck. Ive not read all of this thread but it seems like theres loooaaads of issues all in this one thread, issues not directly related to your hooker idea.

    How about you break down those problems into sections? Write down each seperate problem your having and tackle them seperately. One at a time. If you want advice on these seperate problems then make different threads about them in the relevent boards subjects. People on here do give very good advice because they are outsiders looking in at your problems with a non biast point of view- something your not able to do by tackling them yourself.

    Give the advice a chance, try it for a few months, and if trying it doesnt help then you've not lost anything have you. Theres nothing to lose by trying it. Nothing can get worse.

    Paying for a hooker wont solve any of your problems and it wont give you an indicator of what sex is really like. Hookers act up, they get paid for it remember, its nothing like normal sex, therefore you wont learn anything. They get paid to pretend to be having fun. And like someone else said- what if you enjoy it? Its an expensive habit to keep up. While your still a virgin you dont know what your missing out on, if you get a taster and enjoy it you will want it all the more. Trust me...i know; i was a virgin for a long time.
  • **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    The advice is there, no one's gonna hold your hand, get over it.

    Ok just leave it now Matt - you've made your opinion clear and to be honest, I think he's right - telling someone to get their arse out of their chair and stop acting like a "wussy" isn't really the most constructive way to go - especially when you were so critical of him.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lifeless wrote:
    Where are you two getting this bully crap from?

    Don't bother giving me that "Alpha male" bullshit either. If people were meant to act that way we would still be shitting in the woods.

    I would listen to practical advice. Stuff I can use.
    I wouldnt pay attention to them. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Point is, there IS good advice here but he is refusing to take it, constantly defending himself "oh but if you were in my shoes..." all this bullshit and at the end of the day it DOES take a bit courage to get his head out of his ass up off the chair and actually DO something.

    Can only go for so long giving advice, if he's not gonna take it and wants to keep going on like this then people are gonna give him a kick up the arse.
    But you got to remember, not everyone has that courage unfortunatly.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks everybody.

    The thing is I went to counseling I saw her five times. During the last session she finally realised that I was depressed (What did she think I was doing there?) and she carted me off to a Psychologist. He put me on anti-depressants (they were a complete disappointment) and I saw him twice before he sent me to CBT training. I didn't really get much out of it but I went through the whole course to see if it became more relevant but it didn't. Basically, I don't have to see anyone anymore and I'm not taking the meds so I don't really know where to go from here.
    Blah wrote:
    How about you break down those problems into sections? Write down each seperate problem your having and tackle them seperately. One at a time.

    That's a really good idea. I'm gonna try that.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my_name wrote:
    :lol::lol: I almost choked reading that.
    Me too :p.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lifeless wrote:
    You clearly need to mature a lot more. Maybe when you've left school and got a job you might actually say something useful.

    Does leaving university with a good degree, getting over BPD, getting a legal job and getting married count?

    No?

    Poor me:(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You're an adult?!

    Ok, moving swiftly on...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
  • **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    Can only go for so long giving adviceQUOTE]

    Yep I do agree there - and yes people have continually given pretty good advice.
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    Lifeless wrote:
    You're an adult?!

    Ok, moving swiftly on...
    And there I was thinking you said it as a joke... I liked it in that way.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I thought he was kidding as well.

    Kermit, you must give off such an impression of immaturity for him to think you were a schoolkid ;p.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Can we drop it please?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Here's a question, how many of you would go to Amsterdam on holiday and go to the red light district?

    Have to admit, in the spirit of the holiday I might do it hmmmm

    Did it last month. The red light district is the main attraction of Dam, man. Not cos of all the hoes, it's just where everything happens and everyone goes, really.

    But yes, I did indulge :blush:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fuck me I just read the whole of this thread and my eyes hurt now:eek: , but here goes...

    There's no point me saying this, but you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself, if you do that all the time then things seem so much worse, and get so much worse.

    Anyway I'm gonna get to the point here. You said: "I would listen to practical advice. Stuff I can use." so here's my practical advice...

    Go fuck a prossie, in a brothel or wherever. You seem to be so preoccupied with gettin laid and losing your virginity that nothing else matters to you. IMO you should do it, so you can see that sex is not the most amazing thing in the world, and it really is not a fucking big deal.

    That was the original question, I believe...

    But I'm just one person out of millions with an opinion, so ultimately its down to you mate, stop looking for other people to tell you what to do and decide for yourself.

    OK I need a fag now :wave:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    **Helen** wrote:
    telling someone to get their arse out of their chair and stop acting like a "wussy" isn't really the most constructive way to go

    To be honest Helen, and i'm NOT saying this is right in Lifeless's situation, sometimes people do need a virtual kick up their bum. It's very easy to get into the 'nobody likes me so i'll act an idiot and refuse all advice' cycle. I've been there as i'm sure many other posters have. The 'virtual kick' does get people to listen. Look at what i did a few years ago r.e. my 'suicide'. My mates were furious with me for what i did, because there are people on here who genuinely care/cared about me, and all because i wasn't listening to the good advice people were giving me. I lost a lot of friends, here and in the real world, because of my attitude. I was told to 'buck my ideas up' by a few people and sure i've still got all my problems. Still a manic depressive, still HIV+, still let the tiniest thing upset me etc etc, but at least i now listen to what people are saying to me.

    Sometimes the bitterest medicine works the best. I'm not saying anybody's right or wrong in what they've said in this thread, just that a reality check can sometimes do good.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I wish there was someway I could kill my sex drive. It would solve some of my problems at least...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i havnt read the thread yet, but i've got head off a hoe before :D

    no don't go paying for sex of any degree. you'll probably get away with it, but the girl will be a hoe.

    if you're nervous around women, don't worry, they'll understand, if you're unfunny and lack social skills, they'll pick up on that too. as long as you're true to yourself, you'll find somebody like you. just make opportunities for yourself at all turns, and don't slip into the frame of mind where nothing comes your way cos a good woman will pick up and the only thing screwing will be her face.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i live with a 2x40 yr old virgins, 1x 35yr old, 2x22-25 yr olds virgins. there are so many men out there who are virgins at a ripe old age. its not a big deal. i havnt had sex in over a year now and its easy to get into the state of mind, where hey it doesn't matter. just ask these guys. the women where i live look down on us, but no-one has to know lifeless, you can lead a perfectly happy life.

    plus you never know it might be a sin in gods eyes. as a last resort, think of the next life if you're that down. but im not suggesting suicide ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Suicide, eh? :chin:

    Always cracks me up when Homer says that. :D I've said it in real life too but it tends to freak people out. :)

    Oh well, women always look down on me. Usually, that's before they even know me so I really don't wanna know how they'll act when they find out what I'm like.

    Well, I suppose that's not technically true, I tend to get on with older women pretty well. But they tend to be taken or not interested in younger guys. I wonder where all the mature 22 year old women hang out... :chin:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know where 22y/o women hang out. :D:naughty:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lifeless - Would you say that a woman would like you if she had the chance to get to know you?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well, yeah. It might be the good mood talking but I really do think I could do someone right. Erm, if that's the right expression. I mean I think I could make someone happy.

    It's just getting over that first hurdle. I never make a good first impression (I tense up you see & get brain freezage) and things tend to go down hill from there. And I'm not sure that girls like the whole Daniel Jackson look. (Longish hair/glasses)

    It's weird because I can make guys laugh and talk to them about random stuff. I guess I don't really care what guys think. :chin:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lifeless wrote:
    I guess I don't really care what guys think. :chin:

    and there you have it. the secret to not being awkward. you just need to reach that point with birds
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lifeless wrote:
    Well, yeah. It might be the good mood talking but I really do think I could do someone right. Erm, if that's the right expression. I mean I think I could make someone happy.

    It's just getting over that first hurdle. I never make a good first impression (I tense up you see & get brain freezage) and things tend to go down hill from there. And I'm not sure that girls like the whole Daniel Jackson look. (Longish hair/glasses)

    It's weird because I can make guys laugh and talk to them about random stuff. I guess I don't really care what guys think. :chin:
    Have you thought about offering the equivalent of a money back guarentee?

    Why don't you buy a pair of tickets for a film or a show or a gig or something that'll happen in 6 or 8 weeks time, then give both tickets to some lovely girl you think you'd like to get to know better, and you think she'd like you if only you had a chance. You go on a couple of dates, and if she likes you, on the third date she asked you to join her at this gig or whatever, if she doesn't she goes with someone else. But you've got your chance to make an impression in more than just 5 minutes of conversation.

    The phrasing is very important, so pay attention to near exactly what you have to say.

    "Here are two tickets, they're yours, think of them as a guarentee, I think you'd like me if you had some time to get to know me, so I'd like to go out with you, and get to know you better. I'd love it, if you asked me to go with you to the (show gig whatever) I think if we got to know each other you'd like that too, but if not, the tickets are yours, you can take someone else, no hard feelings"

    It's important that you don't make them sounds like a bribe. Give it a go
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kind of in a similar situations so cant really offer much in the way of advice, but everything other people have said looks to be good advice, I will sure be following it

    Cheers
    :thumb:
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