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So, honestly...

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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sofie wrote:
    :yes:
    Yes, it's not fair, but it's the OP's fault/problem he can't get a girlfriend.

    :eek:

    You can't really say its ALL my fault. I'm a pretty shy guy and to be honest I'm fine with that I've never wanted to be the life of the party or have an endless amount of "friends" but in order to get a girlfriend I would have to act completely different. And in the end I would rather be liked for me rather than someone I pretend to be (But I'm not holding my breath though).
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lifeless wrote:
    :eek:

    You can't really say its ALL my fault. I'm a pretty shy guy and to be honest I'm fine with that I've never wanted to be the life of the party or have an endless amount of "friends" but in order to get a girlfriend I would have to act completely different. And in the end I would rather be liked for me rather than someone I pretend to be (But I'm not holding my breath though).

    And who elses fault could it be?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sofie wrote:
    And who elses fault could it be?

    Societies.

    We live in a very extrovert-centric society and anyone who doesn't fall into that category gets overlooked or worse.

    Besides, I didn't say I wasn't at fault. I do have some real self-esteem problems and general communication problems. You just can't say it's ALL my fault.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    And you can't blame society for your problems.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sofie wrote:
    And you can't blame society for your problems.

    Geez, whats with the confrontational attitude?

    I can and will blame society. It's society that tells people what the "ideal" type of man is. It's society that puts emphasis on alcohol/drug fueled "fun". It's society that tells people that sex is the most important thing in the world. It's society that tells people that you must have sex with as many people as possible.

    You can't possibly believe that society has no effect on people whatsoever.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    whatever you girls say...all i know is my threory works if a man never talks about it or discusses his plan to seduce a woman it will work.

    you can say it wont only caue your just hating on me.

    but it works

    women dont like crybabies, they dont like wusses and they like confidence and charisma.

    women say things but they confuse us...they say they want sensitivity ya but to an extent.

    they like a man who is busy...so they can complain that he has no time for her, but when he is not busy they tell him how much of a bum he is lol.

    also women are competitive they compete with other women...sometimes they are attracted to you not because they are but because your attractive to other girls so they compete subconciously.....

    if women want to deny this oh well but its true women go gaga and crazy over guys on tv and music...how many straight men you see screaming like a girl over some singer? not me.

    face it men and women are different.

    im just saying this to help the guys on here...plus guys never do what i just did! if you figured out a chick keep it to yourelf.

    as you can see it already ruined me here lol.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lifeless wrote:
    I can and will blame society.

    Then you do that.
    Just don't expect it to get you anywhere.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lifeless wrote:
    Geez, whats with the confrontational attitude?

    I can and will blame society. It's society that tells people what the "ideal" type of man is. It's society that puts emphasis on alcohol/drug fueled "fun". It's society that tells people that sex is the most important thing in the world. It's society that tells people that you must have sex with as many people as possible.

    You can't possibly believe that society has no effect on people whatsoever.


    dont worry she is just a bitter one...she was being cold and sarcastic towards me for even the remotely littles things.

    dont mind her.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Snerd - stop stereotyping woemn; we're NOT all the same.:rolleyes:
  • SkiveSkive Posts: 15,282 Skive's The Limit
    You have to show a little confidence, be a little cocky, a lot of women (not all) like that. Also, if you have those properties you're more likely to talk to women in the first place.

    How is girl going to get to know you and take an intrest in you, if all you do is keep your head down in the corner?
    Weekender Offender 
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Then you do that.
    Just don't expect it to get you anywhere.

    Having expectations would imply that I had hope. I used to have hope but I quickly learned from my mistake...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lifeless wrote:
    I can and will blame society.
    Then you'll never be attractive to anyone.
    Lifeless wrote:
    It's society that tells people what the "ideal" type of man is. It's society that puts emphasis on alcohol/drug fueled "fun". It's society that tells people that sex is the most important thing in the world. It's society that tells people that you must have sex with as many people as possible.
    And yet the vast majority of people still manage to get by without having sex with as many people as possible. What do you think? That 'society' whatever you mean by that, has turned all girls against guys like you? That all the girls would be falling at your feet if it wasn't for 'society'? Attraction isn't something that's determined by the media or whatever other outside force you can think of, it's far deeper than that. Noone can help who they're attracted to, you know?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Skive wrote:
    How is girl going to get to know you and take an intrest in you, if all you do is keep your head down in the corner?

    Hopefully, she would see my brooding and become so fascinated with me that I'd have to fight her off with a pointy stick! :lol:

    Seriously though, the more I think about it the more I realise I don't actually know where to find the kind of girl I'm after. :chin:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lifeless wrote:
    Seriously though, the more I think about it the more I realise I don't actually know where to find the kind of girl I'm after. :chin:
    What kind of girl's that? Other than one that hopefully likes you back?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Snerd wrote:
    as you can see it already ruined me here lol.
    'Cause otherwise you would've pulled? :p
  • SkiveSkive Posts: 15,282 Skive's The Limit
    Feeling sorry for yourself and blaming society for the fact you can't get a girl, isn't exactly going to get the girls swooning.
    Weekender Offender 
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Then you'll never be attractive to anyone.

    I wasn't attractive to anyone either way...
    What do you think? That 'society' whatever you mean by that, has turned all girls against guys like you?

    Yup. Ever hear about a women bitch that the media creates an unrealistic standard of beuty? It's the same thing except personality-wise.
    That all the girls would be falling at your feet if it wasn't for 'society'?

    You can't use one extreme point to counter my argument.
    Attraction isn't something that's determined by the media or whatever other outside force you can think of, it's far deeper than that. Noone can help who they're attracted to, you know?

    People aren't entirely insulated by outside interference. Do you think kids smoke because they really enjoy smoking? If everyone tells you somethings attractive then you'll more than likely go for the same things everyone else does.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What kind of girl's that? Other than one that hopefully likes you back?

    Well, you know. Quiet girls, the ones who are a little more thoughtful, the ones who are little shy or reserved, maybe even a bit geeky. The ones who like to read books or likes a really good sci-fi show. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lifeless wrote:
    People aren't entirely insulated by outside interference. Do you think kids smoke because they really enjoy smoking? If everyone tells you somethings attractive then you'll more than likely go for the same things everyone else does.
    There may be certain fashions, such as in the 90's breasts were the 'in' thing, and currently it's bums, but it's always something that people find attractive anyway. You can't just take something that no-one in the world finds attractive, and make it so by having enough media coverage of it. And anyone with half a brain tends to be able to follow their own feelings when it comes to this anyway though, and I don't think I'd be interested in anyone who didn't.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ...And anyone with half a brain...

    That disqualifies 70% of the country then...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lifeless wrote:
    Well, you know. Quiet girls, the ones who are a little more thoughtful, the ones who are little shy or reserved, maybe even a bit geeky. The ones who like to read books or likes a really good sci-fi show. :)
    So you mean the type where you have to make the first move? In my experience, these are the one's you're more likely to end up with after getting to know them a bit first, rather than just pulling them the first time you meet. And it usually involves you taking the lead and being a bit more outgoing and chatty. I prefer the opposite where I can relax a bit and let her talk. But there you go, horses for courses and all that.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    uhm well
    it's simple

    it's not masculine
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So you mean the type where you have to make the first move? In my experience, these are the one's you're more likely to end up with after getting to know them a bit first, rather than just pulling them the first time you meet. And it usually involves you taking the lead and being a bit more outgoing and chatty. I prefer the opposite where I can relax a bit and let her talk. But there you go, horses for courses and all that.

    Hmm, you're making sense. I would be willing to make the first move but I don't really know where to meet those kind of girls.

    I'm gonna have to mull over this a bit...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lifeless wrote:
    Hmm, you're making sense. I would be willing to make the first move but I don't really know where to meet those kind of girls.
    I'd say they make up the majority of girls. Look around, I'm sure there'll be far more than you think. Of course, as soon as you add extra criteria, such as you actually finding them attractive, it reduces the number tenfold, but then you can fancy everyone, can you?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd say they make up the majority of girls. Look around, I'm sure there'll be far more than you think. Of course, as soon as you add extra criteria, such as you actually finding them attractive, it reduces the number tenfold, but then you can fancy everyone, can you?

    Actually, I find loooooaaaadddsss of women attractive. Every woman has her charm. Be it a certain way she smiles or a slighty crooked nose. :)

    The only things that put me off is the whole "barbi" look and chavs.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lifeless wrote:
    Actually, I find loooooaaaadddsss of women attractive. Every woman has her charm. Be it a certain way she smiles or a slighty crooked nose. :)
    Get to know some of them then. I bet you see loads of girls all the time, and say hi to them, yet have never actually took the time to have a quick chat. Do that.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That's the thing, I'm not very good at the whole small talk thing. I don't really know what to talk about. Plus I tend to get very stuttery around women I'm attracted to.

    Btw, I love the positive direction this thread is taking. Usually, someone pisses me off and I go a wee bit nuts. :hyper:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I find if you just say how are you doing, maybe she'll tell you something thats happening in her life, maybe trivial. the next day (or a few days later) just say hello again, how u doing, how was that thing you were talking about, show some interest. by the way, don't just do it with girls you're attracted to. don't be afraid to be a bit cheeky either :p

    But can you really do that with women you don't actually know? I'm not sure why but it seems a little odd to ask someone you don't know how they're doing.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    not sure if im much help :chin:

    Actually, you are. :)

    Thanks.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lifeless wrote:
    But can you really do that with women you don't actually know? I'm not sure why but it seems a little odd to ask someone you don't know how they're doing.
    Nothing wrong with that. Would you think it's wierd if someone you barely knew asked you how you were doing? It's tough to remember what I talk about when I first meet people, because now I know most of them, so I just talk to them as friends normally. I probably talk about a load of bullshit though. People don't really care what you talk about in the getting to know you phase. It depends on the situation. Like if you're just starting working somewhere, "so how long have you worked here? Are you full time? No, you go to college? Which one? Oh I used to go there, which teacher have you got for English? Oh he's a twat isn't he?" You've just got to be able to react to the conversation, and if you can get something in that makes people laugh, they'll be more likely to want to talk to you again, which is why it's more important to put that effort in when you first meet people, rather than waiting for months to speak to them, then being really over the top enthusiastic.
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