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Would you Date someone who has Cheated in the past?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
would you date someone who has cheated in the past?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    it would depend on why they cheated, how long ago it was etc.
    It would certainly set alarm bells ringing.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yes, a person's past is their past.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i agree with SCC, i cheated in the past, but at the time i was about 14, werent serious etc. not an excuse, but i didnt take boyfriends seriously, which no one should at that age. however, my views on cheating are different now and i could never forgive anyone who cheated on me. my views are now, if you want to see other people, dont be in a relationship. id be quite upset if someone didnt like me because i had cheated before, because im more grown up now, i see things in a different way and i hate cheaters. my mums one and its something ive unfortunately had to grow up experiencing. so thats maybe why at 14 i thought it was ok, ive now grown into my own mind.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    SuzyCreamcheese wrote:
    it would depend on why they cheated, how long ago it was etc.
    It would certainly set alarm bells ringing.

    :yes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It depends, if i really liked him then it would be hard to say no to being with him.
    However i would be aware of his past and most likely not fall too hard too fast incase there is the risk of getting hurt.

    You've got to give people a chance though, especially when you could be missing out on something potentially good.

    Also there are more than one reason why people cheat. It may not be acceptable, but it can still be understandable possibly in some circumstances.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sophia wrote:
    Yes. We're none of us angels.


    Is that a subtle way to confess to have cheated? ;)

    Yes, i would! Yes, i did!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It wouldn't make a difference if I liked her enough.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Bri-namite wrote:
    It wouldn't make a difference if I liked her enough.
    Same here. But knowing my luck, it'd probably come back to bite me in the arse.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Snerd wrote:
    would you date someone who has cheated in the past?
    probably :yes:
    as long as it had been a one off
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    pink_glitter wrote:
    i agree with SCC, i cheated in the past, but at the time i was about 14, werent serious etc. not an excuse, but i didnt take boyfriends seriously, which no one should at that age. however, my views on cheating are different now and i could never forgive anyone who cheated on me. my views are now, if you want to see other people, dont be in a relationship. id be quite upset if someone didnt like me because i had cheated before, because im more grown up now, i see things in a different way and i hate cheaters. my mums one and its something ive unfortunately had to grow up experiencing. so thats maybe why at 14 i thought it was ok, ive now grown into my own mind.
    I'd say cheating doesn't really count when you are that age! I last cheated when I was 18, though I had good reasons and I was young etc.....I ope someone wouldnt bare a grudge over it! I wouldn't do it again.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Probably not.

    I've done it before, thinking they've done it before but it'll be different with me, but it never has, they've all gone and cheated on me too. But what did I expect?

    In my opinion once a cheater always a cheater.

    Anyone with any morals would end a bad relationship rather then cheat in it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    red_jelly wrote:
    In my opinion once a cheater always a cheater.

    I disagree with you there. I cheated on my ex but i would NEVER EVER do that to Chris.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tweety wrote:
    I disagree with you there. I cheated on my ex but i would NEVER EVER do that to Chris.

    Depends what your reason was though.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sofie wrote:
    Depends what your reason was though.

    I don't know i have a reason, he was a shit, i was in a dead end relationship which i didn't have the strength to end at the time(6 years is a long time to just walk away from). I guess it was the cheating that gave me the strength.
    It's not an excuse and to this day he doesn't know i did, i am not proud of what i did.
    But i know in my heart of hearts i would never do it to Chris.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    SuzyCreamcheese wrote:
    it would depend on why they cheated, how long ago it was etc.

    Definitely.
    Depends of why they cheated. If she's done it once, why wouldn't she do it again?
    Also, the "It didn't mean anything" thing doesn't wash with me, however true it might have been.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sophia wrote:
    We all make mistakes. If she had a history of a lot of infidelity, then fair enough. But to say, "once a cheater, always a cheater" is just ludicrously simplistic imo.

    I thought that once apon a time, my friend kept saying it to me and i ignored it and took the guy back, he then cheated on me again.

    Obviously not all men are like that but still.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tweety wrote:
    I don't know i have a reason, he was a shit, i was in a dead end relationship which i didn't have the strength to end at the time(6 years is a long time to just walk away from). I guess it was the cheating that gave me the strength.
    It's not an excuse and to this day he doesn't know i did, i am not proud of what i did.
    But i know in my heart of hearts i would never do it to Chris.

    I'm not saying you're a bad person in anyway, but I think there's never an excuse for cheating. If someone has a problem with a relationship then they should confront it. Being in a bad relationship and being treated badly by your other half is no excuse to cheat, in my opinion, it is exactly the same as just cheating. Everyone cheats for a reason, people who are compleatly content and happy don't cheat, but that doesn't make it any less terrible.

    IF I knew a girl had cheated because her last boyfriend trated her badly and she was unhappy I would be thinking well what if we have an argument and she's unhappy, or what if she's not happy and won't tell me so I don't know and can't do anything about it and instead she might just go off and cheat on me. It's just not worth the worry in my opinion.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    red_jelly wrote:
    I'm not saying you're a bad person in anyway, but I think there's never an excuse for cheating. If someone has a problem with a relationship then they should confront it. Being in a bad relationship and being treated badly by your other half is no excuse to cheat, in my opinion, it is exactly the same as just cheating. Everyone cheats for a reason, people who are compleatly content and happy don't cheat, but that doesn't make it any less terrible.

    IF I knew a girl had cheated because her last boyfriend trated her badly and she was unhappy I would be thinking well what if we have an argument and she's unhappy, or what if she's not happy and won't tell me so I don't know and can't do anything about it and instead she might just go off and cheat on me. It's just not worth the worry in my opinion.
    Did you read exactly what i wrote?
    I said it's not an excuse and that i am not proud of what i did.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    red_jelly wrote:

    IF I knew a girl had cheated because her last boyfriend trated her badly and she was unhappy I would be thinking well what if we have an argument and she's unhappy, or what if she's not happy and won't tell me so I don't know and can't do anything about it and instead she might just go off and cheat on me. It's just not worth the worry in my opinion.

    If a girl cheated on her boyfriend, it would probably be alot more than them having an argument.

    As for me - it would depend what the reason for cheating was.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sofie wrote:
    it would probably be alot more than them having an argument.

    It wasn't an arguement in my case, he just treated me like shit (try walking out and leaving your gf when shes having her first panic attack, can't breath and you are more worried about the fact you have some dodgy cd's laying around that paramedics might see:rolleyes: :mad: ) thats just an example, so no what i did wasn't right but i sure as hell didn't treat him half as shit as he did me.
    Shortly after i ended it.
    Like i said it's not an excuse but i had my reasons/
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tweety wrote:
    Did you read exactly what i wrote?
    I said it's not an excuse and that i am not proud of what i did.

    I know, I was quoting you because you were the one who said you had cheated before but wouldn't do it again becuase it was exceptional circumstances etc.

    My point was that I don't think there are any circumstances that should lead anyone to cheat. I just don't buy into the fact that some people say they are not the type of person to cheat but did it because they were forced into it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sofie wrote:
    If a girl cheated on her boyfriend, it would probably be alot more than them having an argument.

    Yes, obviously I simplified that for the sake of this discussion. But my point still stands.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    red_jelly wrote:
    I know, I was quoting you because you were the one who said you had cheated before but wouldn't do it again becuase it was exceptional circumstances etc.

    My point was that I don't think there are any circumstances that should lead anyone to cheat. I just don't buy into the fact that some people say they are not the type of person to cheat but did it because they were forced into it.

    Noone is forced to cheat.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sophia wrote:
    Tbh tweety you don't need to justify yourself. I think of myself as a faithful person who would never cheat on my partner, but I was in the exact same situation as you and was unfaithful, and I don't think you have to explain it to anyone or put up with anyone's moral judgment of you, because until they've been in that situation they've got no idea what it's like.

    I would also think it sad if because of that, future partners decided they couldn't trust me not to cheat, just because I did so once. That said, if they do, it's their loss.

    Don't know if the judgement bit was aimed at me or not, but I'm not judging anyone who has cheated. I just wouldn't go out with anyone who had, no matter what the circumstances.

    I've been in terrible realtionships with controlling and down right nasty girls which involved physical violence. In some of the relationships i've been in the situation where I could have cheated but I just didn't see that as a suitable way out of the situation I was in.
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